To think you shouldn't accept a party invite if you aren't going to invite child back?

[Partypooper12345]

I've name changed for this as aware I sound like a loon.

My child is gorgeous and lovely and bright and ever so slightly quirky but brings us huge joy. However she is never at the top of anyone's party invite list and regularly misses out on parties which have limited numbers. Came home and told me today that she isn't invited to X's party because she wasn't on the list but X will get her mum to arrange a play. They'd obviously been talking at school today. My child said this quite factually, she is not upset at all. Thank god 6/7 year olds are very accepting. She didn't see the trail of kids leaving together today for the party but I did. Made me want to cry for her. I know this is completely irrational and is more about me than her, but I'm being honest about how I feel. I don't communicate any of this to my child and am bright, breezy and sensible in response to any issues along these lines. She does not yet have my insecurities in that regard and I hope to keep it that way.

However, aibu to think that if you aren't going to invite a child to your child's party, year on year, because of numbers or whatever, then you should decline the invite to the other (uninvited) child's birthday party? Isn't it rude not to invite people whose parties you have attended and continue to attend?

Braced for a pasting, I know I'm being unreasonable to be upset on behalf of my child, and would never articulate it in RL apart from to partner, but unsure if I'm being unreasonable to expect them to decline our invites iyswim.

I know what you mean my lovely but you should let this go. Please. Don't keep track - just let it happen. It will be the way it will be. You are analysing it far too much. Your daughter isn't concerned just you. This is your insecurity I'm afraid. There are all sorts of reasons this could happen. maybe the fact you had to mention that your daughter is 'quirky' points to the fact that you worry she isn't popular. I wonder if your intentions stem from wanting the best for her - and you are lovely to care so much- no one wants their child to feel excluded. Just keep building her up in a good way - that's what she needs the most. She is amazing every day. And take up the offer of one to one and lots of other one to ones if you can. We don't have to be invited to numerous parties to be decent and loved. It's not a competition. It's a childhood.