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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to warn parents about lollies in party bags?

78 replies

RosieandJim89 · 08/05/2016 18:39

We went to two parties today, both for children under 5 and at preschool together. Some mums from the first were at the second. As is common practice the party bags had a lolly, stickers, small toy and cake. After the first, and on the way to the second, DD asked for one of the lollies. As I took it out the bag I noticed it was one of those with a bubblegum centre. DD is only 3.5yrs so I put it aside. At the second party a few mums from the first were there and I mentioned that DD's lolly had bubblegum in it and they may want to check theirs incase they did too. Both have children similar age to DD and one was very grateful I had pointed it out and a little cross they had been given. I said that it was probably un-noticed by the host but the second mum spoke as though I was in the wrong to even bring this up.
Was I? I would want someone to warn me before I gave my preschool child one but perhaps I ABU?

OP posts:
Muskateersmummy · 08/05/2016 18:41

I wish they would too, I tend to have a little look in the bag before she gets it. "Let me hold that while you get in the car" style!

MummyBex1985 · 08/05/2016 18:41

I wouldn't give a pre school child a lolly or bubble gum so YA (probably) NBU - it's the own parents job to police it though. I guess the packaging would have mentioned it?

Lunar1 · 08/05/2016 18:55

I don't let mine have round lollies even without bubblegum. My two know to hand over the party bag for inspection!

shiveringhiccup · 08/05/2016 18:56

Yanbu.

However not nice for the parents of the child whose party it was to have one of the mummies going around telling everyone the contents of the party bags they gave out were a risk. Might have been nicer to have a quiet word with the mummy and let her deal with it.

RubbleBubble00 · 08/05/2016 19:00

I'm mean party bag police. Usually they can have cake and toy(s), sweets get chucked into sweet box for later

Eva50 · 08/05/2016 19:03

I wouldn't let an under 5 have a lolly. It's a chocking risk if it comes off the stick. I wouldn't put them in party bags either.

WhoDrewOnTheWall · 08/05/2016 19:05

I hate round lollies and won't let my DC have them or uninflated balloons. I did a training course a while back with an ex-paramedic and he said that in any cases he'd gone to where a child had choked on a round lolly or an uninflated balloon, the child died. When we get party bags I remove the lollies and eat them and blow up the balloons.

SatsukiKusakabe · 08/05/2016 19:13

I see what you mean, but I police what's in the party bag and say what they can have and when as I feel it's up to me.

I don't let my toddler have round lollies and never buy them, but ds now he's 5 knows to lick and crunch them rather than suck so will let him have one under supervision when he's been given one at school, but I still kind of wish they wouldn't.

Prepare your child for the road rather than the road for your child is my approach. I cut grapes up for the same reason as pp, frightened to death in a first aid course. I know many don't though and so I always tell ds to either ask for them to be cut or to bite into them if he's ever given them whole when I'm not around.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 08/05/2016 19:17

Maybe someone can tell me, should I cut grapes lengthways or the across the middle? I have always cut them up but I don't know if I'm doing it right!

fruitpastille · 08/05/2016 19:19

LengthwaysSmile

SunshineOutdoors · 08/05/2016 19:19

Lengthways

MrsDeVere · 08/05/2016 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatamuckingfuddle · 08/05/2016 19:21

Blush bought dd a lollipop with bubblegum in the middle last week. Didn't realise. Another mum at the school gate did. Oops. oi lenghtways - always lenghtways Wink

MintyBojingles · 08/05/2016 19:22

Oi - cut them lengthways. Cut through the middle they are still quite wide.

Pinkheart5915 · 08/05/2016 19:23

Yanbu
I wouldn't give a lolly/ bubble gum to a pre school child

MintyBojingles · 08/05/2016 19:23

What's the problem with bubblegum though?

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 08/05/2016 19:23

Lengthways - good! Thats what I've been doing for 6 years Grin

Andcake · 08/05/2016 19:27

I would want someone to tell me but then I would have edited out lollies etc before ds got anywhere near the bag.
I am a bit of an over cautious mum ( years of infertility miracle baby in forties so no chance of other kids) but am horrified ant his careless and unaware other parents are. Our nursery has a sign on the door about sausages, grapes and popcorn but still mums seem to produce them as snacks...

Cheby · 08/05/2016 19:28

YANBU. I'd have been glad of the warning. I don't let DD (3) have lollies either, I usually do a quick sweep of party bags but would still have been glad of the heads up.

Natsku · 08/05/2016 19:32

I think it was ok to warn the other parents. Someone might get offended but others would be grateful.

I've allowed lollies and chewing gum since 3 though (always get encouraged to give xylitol chewing gun when I take DD to the dentist) but don't like those lollies with bubble gum in the middle as that's the sugary stuff and terrible for teeth - sugar gum is never allowed in this house!

Original poster
RosieandJim89 · 08/05/2016 19:39

I try to avoid hard lollies but have allowed the occasional one when someone offered in front of DC (which really peeves me off) but i was concerned about the bubblegum. The wrapper wasn't clear and I only noticed as DD wanted to know the flavour.

OP posts:
LittleHouseOnTheShelf · 08/05/2016 20:03

Each parent has different ideas what is acceptable though, surely? Whilst my DCs were getting in the car, I'd quickly put my handbag in the boot and do a quick scan of the party bag and take out anything I really objected to.
I never did party bags, they got some cake and a cheap book from the book people that was originally part of a multipack.

SatsukiKusakabe · 08/05/2016 20:29

Chewing/bubble gum doesn't dissolve so easier to get stuck and block windpipe. Also if the managed to blow a bubble and accidentally sucked it back in it could form a seal.

Grapes, as others have said, lengthways, as it's the round shape combined with the smooth surface that make them a particular danger.

TheToys · 08/05/2016 21:06

Iny country in Scandinavia xylitol chewing gum is advocated from the age 1.5 upwards (first, of course, under supervision). It's good for the teeth. The gum inside lollies are probably sugary, though. And lollies can be dangerous. I only had one rule, though :Don't run with one in the mouth.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 08/05/2016 21:14

YANBU but it may not be a mistake.

Everyone I know gives their children lollies. I think I'm the only one who takes them out. I wouldn't give my 8 year old a hard boiled sweet (which is what they are) let alone a young child. I let my older one have them occasionally if he's with me, not running around and he knows to crunch it up if it comes of the stick. 5 year old DD doesn't have them.

People tend to think I'm precious. I don't give a crap so if you mention it, it may not be well received.

I know some children who are allowed bubble/chewing gum as well. It's ridiculous and completely unnecessary. But I also know people who give young children whole nuts and coke as well.

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