to warn parents about lollies in party bags?

[RosieandJim89]

We went to two parties today, both for children under 5 and at preschool together. Some mums from the first were at the second. As is common practice the party bags had a lolly, stickers, small toy and cake. After the first, and on the way to the second, DD asked for one of the lollies. As I took it out the bag I noticed it was one of those with a bubblegum centre. DD is only 3.5yrs so I put it aside. At the second party a few mums from the first were there and I mentioned that DD's lolly had bubblegum in it and they may want to check theirs incase they did too. Both have children similar age to DD and one was very grateful I had pointed it out and a little cross they had been given. I said that it was probably un-noticed by the host but the second mum spoke as though I was in the wrong to even bring this up.
Was I? I would want someone to warn me before I gave my preschool child one but perhaps I ABU?

I don't cut grapes either but lollies, with sticks are sill for 3 year olds. It used to surprise me when I found them in preschooler's bags!

People put the most stupid stuff into party bags for very young children.

Years ago when mine were that sort of age a lady I knew had to swiftly confiscate a party popper from her 5 year old. Thoughtlessly put into the party bag as a toy.

Round lollies, coke and whole grapes I get.

But what on earth is the issue with bubble gum, sausages, grapes in general and popcorn?

inlovewithhubby - a friend of my mum's was on holiday a couple of years ago when her 6 year old died from choking on a grape. It might well be the same child as someone else mentioned upthread, actually, as it made the papers; but these tragedies do happen, and unless you know of one personally it's unlikely that you would hear of them.

I have a couple of friends who work in A&E and yes, children do regularly die as a result of choking - the danger with things like grapes, balloons etc. is not that the child is more likely to choke, but that any choking incident is more likely to be fatal. Children (and adults) choke on all sorts of things, but most food items, like hard things or crumbly soft things, can be dislodged by bystanders or, if necessary, the emergency services. However, items which form a seal in the trachea are almost impossible to get out in time before the child dies. That's why the items mentioned on this thread are so dangerous. I know one A&E registrar who told me about a child she attended who died after falling over with a lolly in the mouth which got pushed back into the windpipe. She is understandably worried about her child eating lollies, uncut grapes etc. Is she unreasonable to be worried, then?

manicinsommniac there is a list somewhere online of the foods which cause the most fatal choking incidents in the US - hot dog sausages, marshmallows, popcorn feature very highly.

Tbh it would have gotten my back up, I know it comes from the concern but I would feel like my judgement on parenting.

manic and inlovewithhubby - when I was working in paediatrics I returned from day off to be told of a tragedy. A 6 year old had choked on a sausage in school and could not be resuscitated.
As a pp said there are certain things that are just the right size to lodge in the trachea. I think it is a little unfair to accuse a parent who wishes to minimise the risk of "helicopter parenting".
I do wish though that more life-saving courses were readily available which would help in these circumstances.

I'm far from a helicopter parent but I still cut up grapes for my 5 year old. Choking is my biggest fear so I'm not taking a risk with that. She is very careful to chew everything thoroughly (more than thoroughly, takes damn near ten minutes sometimes for her to eat one mouthful of dinner!) but even then I wouldn't feel safe giving whole grapes.

I don't worry about lollies and nuts though, she usually has flat or odd shaped lollies rather than round ones, and nuts aren't that perfect choking shape that grapes are - I broke nuts in half until about 3 I think.

But isn't that the point - it's not just grapes, you can choke on anything as you guys have explained above, boiled egg, banana, whatever. Why not slice grapes? Because then I'll be mashing their bananas and stopping them eating peanuts til they are way too old (for example, 8 and not allowed a boiled sweet), and probably also hovering over them in the park to micro manage their climbing and getting involved in their friendship fall outs. I teach them how to deal with risk by sensible behaviour - sit down to eat, three points of contact climbing, be kind to friends but accept that not everyone will always be nice. But I don't eliminate risk because that doesn't prepare them for real life. However tempting it might seem, outside of very small babies it's just not necessary or appropriate.

Foods of a certain shape such as sausages and grapes tend to fairly close in size and shape to the windpipe, sometimes they're bigger, which is why there's a higher than normal chance of them forming a blockage and/or seal.

The paramedic doing our course said that if someone is choking and you don't manage to dislodge the item before they pass out then you should still perform CPR as some air might get through, when they pass out muscles relax so small gaps may be created around the object. However with objects the size/shape of the windpipe or that have caused a seal such as sausage, grapes, round lollies or balloons there is almost zero chance that gaps have been created.

So those of you who cut up grapes, how old before you stop? I always thought that was just for babies.

A three year old boy choked on a grape and diEd a few months ago in my town

Grapes, strawberries, cherry Toms, sausages all cut up here for my 3 and 1 year old and I will for the foreseeable.

If they stop breathing you can breathe for them, you can do cpr, bleeding or broken limbs you can fix

Something stuck you can't get out - you have minutes and then you're fucked. The ambulance times here are pretty bad now due to cuts so I make no excuses for being a helicopter parent when it comes to choking.

I do wonder when to stop cutting the grapes up toots111, I figure I'll stop sometime within the next year (so by the time she's 6ish)

Actually next monday at a mother's and children's group I go to we're having an ambulance visit to teach us what to do when there's an emergency with your child so I might ask the paramedics what they recommend in regards to cutting up grapes etc.

it's not just grapes, you can choke on anything as you guys have explained above, boiled egg, banana, whatever. Why not slice grapes? Because then I'll be mashing their bananas and stopping them eating peanuts til they are way too old (for example, 8 and not allowed a boiled sweet), and probably also hovering over them in the park to micro manage their climbing and getting involved in their friendship fall outs. I teach them how to deal with risk by sensible behaviour - sit down to eat, three points of contact climbing, be kind to friends but accept that not everyone will always be nice. But I don't eliminate risk because that doesn't prepare them for real life. However tempting it might seem, outside of very small babies it's just not necessary or appropriate.

Amen to that.

My eyes pop out of my head at some of the extremes of risk-avoidance. I'm trying to mentally make a list of water-soluble foods. I haven't got very far.

It's interesting that the preponderance of opinion on choking hazard threads always seems to go the opposite way from 'children left alone in cars' threads.

I probably am a bit overprotective with the choking risk thing but its my one fear - nothing else really worries me. Its probably because she did choke on a coin she swallowed when she was a toddler and had to be put asleep for it to be removed and then her airway closed up during the procedure and what should have been a ten minute procedure ended up taking nearly two hours so bit traumatised by that!

That sounds horrible Natsku

You're making conjectures that aren't related to the original premise.

You're extending slicing up grapes into climbing, relationships and even jobseeking, and it's just ridiculous. Everyone assesses risk differently that they're comfortable with.

The paramedics I've spoken to have all said there are certain things they hate hearing on a call as they know there will be little they can do. Not a risk I'm prepared to take with a five year old who is taught to sit nicely and all those other things, but isn't quite there yet, and who still has a very small windpipe.

He is quite competent at crossing roads but he won't get to do it alone for a while as at five his depth and speed perception is just not developed enough. It doesn't mean I'll be shouting instructions on his wedding night.

It was horrible Just5Mins :( When one of the doctors finally came out to the waiting room to talk to me and told me to sit down I thought the worst had happened. Thankfully he just wanted to explain why it was taking so long.

YANBU.

As a children's entertainer in my past life, I gave sweetie prizes and avoided the lollies like the plague.
The injury to the child would be something you would never get over and there would be a field day with liability.
I don't know why in this day and age people still give other people's children lollies.
It's not we are spoiled for choice. Give them to your own, of course but why give a potentially harmful thing to somebody else's child.

Oh, and balloon models, used for animals etc have a warning not for under 8's because of choking hazard.
I don't think parents who look after their children to avoid choking are helicoptering, just being good parents.

natsku

You reminded me, newlife at a kids party I went to recently the entertainer made lots of joke about the children catching the deflated balloon in their mouths! sticking them up their noses etc and it seemed so irresponsible. There's silly and there's realising how impressionable and sometimes impulsive 5 year olds are.

Grape choking makes the papers occasionally. But I have never ever heard of a child choking on popcorn or (British vs American hotdog) sausages. I would be interested to know how many actually do.