to warn parents about lollies in party bags?

[RosieandJim89]

We went to two parties today, both for children under 5 and at preschool together. Some mums from the first were at the second. As is common practice the party bags had a lolly, stickers, small toy and cake. After the first, and on the way to the second, DD asked for one of the lollies. As I took it out the bag I noticed it was one of those with a bubblegum centre. DD is only 3.5yrs so I put it aside. At the second party a few mums from the first were there and I mentioned that DD's lolly had bubblegum in it and they may want to check theirs incase they did too. Both have children similar age to DD and one was very grateful I had pointed it out and a little cross they had been given. I said that it was probably un-noticed by the host but the second mum spoke as though I was in the wrong to even bring this up.
Was I? I would want someone to warn me before I gave my preschool child one but perhaps I ABU?

Yanbu my 21 month old is offered lollys in our local shop and pharmacy, the people who work there are parents them selfes.

I am sure that the lolly idea itself was no mistake but a lolly with gum inside? For preschoolers???

I don't like lollies but don't care if others allow them. Coke however makes me cringe. My cousin a qualified nurse let her not quite one year old drink coke from the can. I was

I guess it may be bubble gum that is more of an hiking hazard as stretchy? Still wouldn't give a baby chewing gum though, the dentist could suggest it, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it personally.

I find most adults usually ask me if it's ok to give my children thing, but I'm not squeamish about saying no, and ds is used to hearing it if it's not suitable. What I find difficult is the younger sibling issue, it's so much harder to stop her coveting things the older one is occasionally allowed. I would rather chocolate buttons were standard rather than jelly sweet/hard boiled type stuff that you get offered everywhere.

Isn't the tradition with party bags that you let your child have few bits out of it while they're still on a party high, then eat hide most of it so that if/when they remember to ask for the rest, they have much less to choose from?

Bubble gum definitely weird for pre schoolers but cutting up grapes for children who are no longer babies, no whole nuts rule until after age of 5 and no boiled sweets for an 8 year old are, frankly, nuts. If children eat at a table, sitting down, they are highly unlikely to choke. How on earth are the next generation going to be able to hold down a job only ten years on from not being allowed to manage the (very manageable) risk of eating a boiled sweet?

Whodrew. So right- too many tragedies with spherical lollies, uninflated balloons ( and burst balloon debris), water balloons, tiny rubber balls, uncut grapes and cherry tomatoes. None of these should be accessible to small children.

Am I missing all these tragedies? Where do they happen?

Every party bag my daughter has had from age 2 upwards has had a tiny rubber bouncy ball in it- why?? Even super sensible parents put them in, it baffles me. I had a child that put everything in her mouth until she was well over 3 (and still absent-mindedly puts objects in her mouth at nearly 5)- those balls scare the crap out of me. They go straight in the bin.

They don't get the lollys either but partly because I ate lots of lollys as a kid and have the fillings to show for it

I bought my DS a lolly because he was desperate to try one, instead of the normal sized one I went for the biggest one I could find (thinking that this was less of a choking hazard). It was only when he got bored of it and gave me it back that I realised it had bubblegum in the middle. I was mortified at myself, it just wasn't that clear on the wrapper at all. I'd been with DS the whole time he was eating it so I think if he'd have got to the bubblegum bit I would have noticed straight away but I honestly didn't see it on the packet. The parents might not have noticed.

Yes they are unlikely to choke, but if they do choke, they die. Very difficult to retrieve a grape or a balloon as it forms a seal over their small windpipe. Low risk high stakes. Nothing to do with their future ability to hold down a job. I choked once as a child and luckily lived to tell the tale but it was terrifying.

Do you need a personal experience of every tragedy to believe they happen?

I wouldn't go round warning other parents of the partybag contents. They can do that themselves

I don't buy that minuscule risks justify such extreme and interventionist helicopter parenting, that's all. Bouncy balls and balloons are not choking hazards to most people. Nor are nuts or grapes. Just eat sitting down and not messing around and you'll be fine.

Bouncy balls and balloons are choking hazards to young children. It even states it on the packet.

inlovewith there was a 6yr old nr me who choked & died on a grape in 2014

Nuts and grapes are hazards to young children too. It was only a few months a go that a little boy in the North East choked to death on a grape in Pizza Hut, he received immediate first aid and still died.

My dd(2) received a bouncyball in a partybag last week. It was bright green and the only toy in there, amongst some preschool friendly sweets (yoghurt raisins).
She automatically put the ball in her mouth thinking it was a sweet. Scared the shit out of me!

Everything is declaimed on packets. Lawsuit prevention. That's why it says 'may contain nuts' on fucking peanut packets. Madness.

A poor child died on a flyaway bouncy castle this year. Would you stop your child ever going on one again as a result? Of course not, that would be mental. Tragedies do happen but we don't have to wrap ourselves in bubble wrap and stop living life normally. We need to teach kids to manage risk, not avoid it.

What's extreme about slicing a grape?

We are talking specifically about very young children, and small, round objects that are choking hazards. This can't be first time you've come across this idea?

Is it extreme helicopter interventionism (or whatever) when I make them hold hands to cross the road? Or watch them in the swimming pool? Or keep them away from scalding liquids? Isn't it just normal parenting?

Actually yes, I would stop my child going on one if it was a blustery day/the bouncy castle was crowded/looked unsafe or in poor repair or for any other reason I decide I don't want them on it.

Children are poor managers of risk, particularly young children. I allow my children to take controlled and age appropriate risks, as they are only young they get their grapes cut in half and I have a rummage in their party bags. I'd rather be the mum confiscating a bouncy ball than the mum ringing 999.

The worst thing is a bit of banana. Impossible to get out, a/c to emergency services. Ever since then I've insisted in bananas being mashed.

I remove all crap from party bags as we leave the party

Hubby - it's the fact that they are so miniscule - and insoluble in water - that makes them so dangerous.

If they were big, they couldn't get stuck in kids' windpipes. If they fell apart as soon as they got wet, they most likely wouldn't stay stuck in kids' windpipes.

Horrible tragedy at a nearby school, a few years ago, when a kid choked on boiled egg. Again, small bits and insoluble.

inlovewith It takes absolutely no time at all to cut a grape! Why not do it?

I don't cut strawberries & my dd shoves them in whole. But they're soluble. But harder skins such as tomatos & grapes, why not?
It's about assessing the risks.

I only ever put soft sweets in bags meant for infants. I just can't put hard lollies in. Imagine if one choked!

I've never been worried about choking hazards. Surely if they sit up and eat food themselves - the risk is miniscule. I've never even cut grapes - let alone worried about the direction of the cut...

I think a lollipop is ok. The gum bit is maybe a bit much for a preschooler but I would let one of my toddlers try it under supervision.