To be annoyed that boyfriend was critical that I didn't have a "Le Creuset" pot for cooking?

[scrabbletile]

Okay, so I bit pissed off at the moment, newish boyfriend stayed at mine for a week last week as we were both off work at the same time. We have only stayed at each other's places couple of nights before with no issues, getting on well, however this past week he has been moany and weird about random stuff which to me are irrelevances i.e.

As the title said, moaned that I didn't have a le creuset type pot when he wanted to make a casserole, apparently the thing I use in the oven "isn't suitable"? wtf?

Moaned about the electric shower I have - okay it is pretty shit, but you know it works, yes I would love a brand new bathroom but I don't see anyone offering to pay for it.

Went over board on helping with cleaning, I'm a tidyish person, but couple of mornings got up early to make breakfast (which was nice) but then went on marathon "how clean is your house" style sessions in a kitchen which no way needed it.

Gave me a lecture about how my heating was set up "incorrectly" and would waste money.

Any views? I'm note sure now if he is just mad/rude or has to stupid idea that he is "helping" or something. I don't know it was going well this relationship but now seems a bit soured. I bit my tongue a bit in the week, other than saying no need to clean like mad, come and relax etc.

Should I be pissed off or should I be rushing out to buy "volcano orange" cast iron cook ware NOW/

It sounds like you just aren't a good fit. I wasted far too much time trying to make relationships work before I got married, because of a vague feeling that I ought to.

If it's any comfort, I'd have brained him with my substandard casserole dish long before he started the main cleaning.

OP - the nice way to put it was to bring you a present of a new Creuset dish, saying "I saw you didn't have one". If he can't be bothered even at this early stage to work out how to put points constructively, it bodes very badly for the future.

he sounds like an ass clown.

I'm going against the crowd here.

Le Creuset - you're right, my birthday's coming up, this giant one would be ideal.

Electric shower - yeh! it's shit isn't it, can you have a fiddle and see what you can sort out for me?

Went over board on helping with cleaning - thank him, put your feet up.

Heating was set up "incorrectly" - could you take a look, it'd be great to get that working properly.

But it all depends on how it was said I guess, and only you can judge it OP!

He likes his cooking utensils - sounds like he's a good cook (which would work fo me as I never cook - big tick right there).

He wants to clean your kitchen? Properly? Having already got up to make you breakfast? RESULT! My DH is shit at cleaning the kitchen - even when he does wash up, he always leaves ONE SODDING THING not washed up on the side... like doing that last one cup/plate/pan would have sent him over the edge or something. And never washes the gunk out of the sink. ARGH! Honestly, get a kitchen cleaner man whilst you have the opportunity - it will save your sanity in the long run!

I am crap with heating timer thingys. I would be glad of someone doing it for me (like DH does) but not of the lecture.

The shower thing was unhelpful though - what was he expecting you to do about it?

So on balance that's 2 for and 2 against. So the jury is out. Does he have a massive cock? That could swing it.

dickhead.

Get shot of him.

Sounds to me as if he's not saying "Oh, I think it's better if you do it this way/use this equipment/clean it like this", which would be bloody annoying but something you could maybe work with. He seems to be saying "This is the right way. You are doing it wrong. I will correct you." That's a red flag for scary abusive level control. Run like the fucking wind, scrabble, and take your instant custard powder with you.

Does his name begin with P? Sounds exactly like my dickhead ex from several years back.
Horrendous. He started off complaining about me not having a washing up bowl and a washing up brush (I prefer to wash up directly in the sink with a sponge/scourer). Then he moved on to complaining about the lighting (softer lighting required). After that he complained about me not having the correct wine glasses (I can no longer remember which brand were acceptable).
He started buying stuff and throwing out my things without asking. We weren't living together and it was a long-distance relationship so he was only there every other weekend.
He also went on about the heating and the shower and the fact that the flat wasn't insulated properly (rental property).
Then he moved on to trying to control me - what I wore, what I did during the week when he wasn't there, how my future should pan out etc.
Got rid of him and chucked all of the expensive stuff that he had bought.

OP, I think you need to get rid too. I know some posters have said you shouldn't chuck him for something so insignificant but I think it highlights that you are fundamentally incompatible. My ex was a controlling fucker but he was also interested in expensive brands for the home and having a perfect flat. I am not interested in that and prefer to spend my money on books and travel (which involves trekking and camping and not 5 star hotels)
Fair enough if other people want to spend their money on household items-that's up to them BUT if you are completely different type than you will spend your life arguing about lifestyle choices.
Even if my ex hadn't been a controlling fucker, we would still have been incompatible.

If someone's trying to show you their true colours*, listen!

*volcano orange or otherwisee

Is this man's name Niles Crane?

He's either socially incompetent and trying to help or really rude...

LTB. Before he shatters your self-confidence and you start believing you are wrong.
He sounds like a total gobshite and should be dumped faster than a rotten fish.

He sounds like my MIL. I use far too much headspace trying to decide if she's horrid, doesn't like me, or just has no brain filter. Could not be doing with that every day of the week from someone who's meant to actually like me.

Get out while it's easy enough to do so.

OP, just cut to the chase and ditch him now.

His type is familiar to me. When the initial shine has worn off, you don't want to have anxieties because you forgot to put the spoons the wrong way round on the draining board or folded the tea towel the wrong way. You will become depressed because you don't meet his or his mother's high standards.

He wants to mould you into the Stepford wife of his choice - run for the hills!

Oh goodness, he's done you a huge favour by showing his true colours.l early on!

Now grab your (perfectly good) Tefal pan and run out of his life as quickly as possible. Imagine putting up with the put downs for the rest of your life?!!!

Oh my freaking god run! Run for the hills! Just like my ex husband very early on, admittedly without the cleaning, but with all the hall marks of utter refusal to accept how I did things and that it was OK. As others have said this is for sure your warning, heed it before you are in too deep to think straight

and take your instant custard powder with you - I haven't kept up with the story. Is there a humungous Archers catch-up service anywhere online?

Yanbu i come from a big family of chefs never seen a le Creuset in their kitchens. Out of interest what do you use for casserole in the oven? And why where you cooking casseroles in hot weather?