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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU friends left my party early

111 replies

edukate · 08/05/2016 10:36

At My daughters 21st party, four friends arrived late, the room was hot so we had doors open. One friend asked me to close the doors as she was cold (she's always cold and arrived in something that looked like pyjamas) I said no as everyone else was too hot and maybe she should move to another spot. She obviously wasn't happy and they all left an hour later- she was driving apparently. I feel that she was unreasonable and am totally pissed off with the others as they left with her. Haven't spoke to them since.

OP posts:

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 08/05/2016 10:38

Sounds like she wasn't feeling well xx

SweetieDrops · 08/05/2016 10:39

If she was driving and decided she was leaving then presumably the others didn't have a choice to not go too so I wouldn't be too harsh on them. She does sound like a bit of a drama queen, was the party at home, could you have offered her a loan of a cardigan or something?

CremeEggThief · 08/05/2016 10:41

YABU. Surely it's up to guests how long they want to stay at an adult party? It's not a children's party with a strict hour or two timing.

FutureGadgetsLab · 08/05/2016 10:41

People can leave any time they want. There's no requirement how long you have to stay, why be so rigid about it?

Beeziekn33ze · 08/05/2016 10:42

I think I'd have offered her a cardi, pashmina or throw to supplement her pj's as everyone else was warm enough. Did the others in her car have alternative methods of getting home?

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2016 10:44

Are they your friends or your DD's?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/05/2016 10:44

So someone attended the party, left after a while and you're pissed off?

ihatethecold · 08/05/2016 10:44

They can leave when they wish, i hate being cold, couldn't you loan her a cardigan?

pictish · 08/05/2016 10:45

They are allowed to leave.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/05/2016 10:45

I feel the cold and if I was too cold, I'd leave. It makes me really tired and grumpy! In fact, I'm always moaning about the fact that people that feel the heat get pandered after.

curren · 08/05/2016 10:46

Was it your party or your daughters?

I think Yabu. She didn't stomp out when you wouldn't close the door. They left an hour later. Which they are allowed to do. No one has to attend a party for a set amount of time

Stardust160 · 08/05/2016 10:46

Where these your friends or your DD friends who's party it was?

FeckinCrutches · 08/05/2016 10:47

Ok, was the party at home?
How many people were there?
Was it your friends or your daughters friends?
Why are you so pissed off? It's not like she walked out the moment you said you wouldn't close the door, she was there another hour.
What time did they leave?
Why on earth are you not speaking to them? How old are you? 12?

FutureGadgetsLab · 08/05/2016 10:47

*In fact, I'm always moaning about the fact that people that feel the heat get pandered after.
Me too, I'm always freezing but people who feel the heat are considered the norm strangely.

Queenbean · 08/05/2016 10:48

Really weird question

YABU

coconutpie · 08/05/2016 10:49

YABU. They attended the party - it's up to them when they leave. Don't be so ridiculous.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 08/05/2016 10:50

YABU, if someone wasn't enjoying themselves surely it would be better for them to go instead of hanging around feeling and looking miserable?

curren · 08/05/2016 10:50

In fact, I'm always moaning about the fact that people that feel the heat get pandered after.

But everyone else was warm. Or should everybody else be uncomfortable for one person? I think in situations like this the majority wins unfortunately.

WeAllHaveWings · 08/05/2016 10:51

If she was feeling so cold it made her feel unwell and nothing could be done (you can't close the doors and overheat everyone else for one person who feels the cold and doesn't dress appropriately) then she wasnt being unreasonable to leave.

If she left because she was one of these people that always feel the cold and instead of wearing more clothes expects everyone else to be too hot, then she is unreasonable.

Trills · 08/05/2016 10:51

Did they say goodbye when they left?

ghostyslovesheep · 08/05/2016 10:52

well they didn't leave YOUR party - it was your daughters 21st

Maybe she WAS cold - Maybe she was ill - she was driving - maybe she wanted to go home to bed

YABU to expect everyone to stay until the end or to enjoy it as much as you think they should - you need to chill!

MakingJudySmile · 08/05/2016 10:56

I feel the cold badly - thermal socks and gloves are my constant companions. I think that those that feel the heat get 'pampered' because it's easier to put on a layer than remove one (considering most people at parties probably only have one or two layers on).

OP - YABU it wasn't your party and your friend was obviously not comfortable. Don't think it's widlt strange for the parents' friends to turn up for a just a short period at a son or daughter's party is it? 'Sow your face' type of thing.

ilovesooty · 08/05/2016 10:56

They are free to leave when they pleased. I think you're being ridiculous.

gamerchick · 08/05/2016 10:57

It's horrible being cold, I turn into an ice cube at the slightest breeze.

When you said no to th door being closed did you offer her something that to make her feel more comfortable? I give guests oversized fleeces when they visit over winter the house gets that cold.

If you said no and that was that I would have left a short time afterwards as well.

OfficiallyUnofficial · 08/05/2016 10:59

Why are you talking to them so often you can stop talking to them? Aren't they your DDs friends?

Is your DD annoyed? YABU

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