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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish parents wouldn't yell/complain

128 replies

Tabithajacobson · 08/05/2016 00:30

I'm a Cubs leader and have been for two years, assistant leader before that for 3 years, I really enjoy it but it's getting to a point now that I dread speaking to a parent.

We're probably one of the most active Pack groups in our district, lovely Beaver leaders and super active Scout group, so as a whole there's roughly a two year waiting list, for each section.

It's done by age and a bit by first come first served, Beavers get given priority when moving up to Cubs, so even if a child had their name on longer, once a Beaver turns 8, once theirs a space available it goes to them. It's the same with Cubs moving up to Scouts, the information is written on a sheet that's either handed to whomever is signing them up or emailed to them and yet almost every week I get an email/phone call from parents about the waiting list

To ask questions is perfectly fine, I'll happily answer but today I've been yelled at over the phone by a Dad who didn't realise that scouts have a separate waiting list , so although his DC is almost 10 and has been on the waiting list for a year, it's pointless for the DC to remain on our list as he probably won't get a place until he's past 10 and a half, in which case he'd be too old for Cubs.

I suggested a few Packs they could try and just got cursed at, 3rd bloody time this month!

Normally the waiting list issue wouldn't bug me so much, but one of our Cub Leaders, has had to stop coming down because of her pregnancy and our 2 young leaders are off for exams, which only leaves two Leaders to handle 23 Cubs and all the parents seem to do is complain.

"Why doesn't xxx have as many badges as vvv" because xxx hasn't put in the bloody work! But I don't say that.

"Xxx really dislikes this badge, can't you do another?" No , it's a challenge award and I have 3 Cubs that have to do it to gain their silver, and it also goes towards xxx's silver

"Xxx won't be at the parade because he only signed up to Thursday evenings" and yet he's at every theme park/camp/fun event Angry

"My daughters brownie troop are so much active then you lot" then by all means volunteer and make it more active

"Xxx says that the kids are too noisy and that makes it hard to accomplish anything" xxx is the worst of the bunch! The kid who stayed under a table for 5 mins and who's Mum I've had to call in multiple times to pick him up early has the cheek to complain about other kids!

I like constructive criticism, it's the only way to improve our troop, but I don't get paid for this, I have a job and a family and they've no bloody right to yell at me, and if you're going to complain, then do it far away from me!

OP posts:
Chrysanthemum5 · 10/05/2016 16:15

DS is in scouts and DD in brownies. Maybe we are just lucky (or maybe I don't see the bad side) but parents are pretty involved. We help at the camps, volunteer to attend meetings, run stalls at the fair etc. And lots of parents do that - although now I'm thinking about it, I realise it's generally the same parents. And probably about 10 parents when there are over 30 scouts. So maybe the other 20 are not helping at all?

Headofthehive55 · 10/05/2016 16:27

I ran the list a while back for the village we were in at the time. As we moved there my DD would never have been able to be a brownie, so I opened another pack. I eventually got a regular helper, which was fine, but I was under continuous pressure from both parents and the district leaders to increase the size of my pack. They then insisted that the second leader open yet another pack, leaving me to manage again with parent helpers. They were so focussed on the size of the waiting list they forgot about the leader - me. They told me I was being difficult. I resigned. So they actually lost a leader in their expansion plans.

grumpysquash3 · 11/05/2016 23:21

DH's troop also take in Scouts on 'assisted places' where they don't have to pay subs if they are a hardship case.

We also do this, and do not charge for anything in cases of hardship; sometimes we even pay for the uniform. But you don't get priority on the waiting list because of hardship. It is just one waiting list and when you get to the top, you join and pay or not (depending on means).

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