To expect Mum to pay up after 4YO child scratched every panel on our car

[LupoLoopy]

Context: My wife works at a nursery school as an assistant.. Her car was parked in the staff car park, which the kids egress though when they leave, under parental supervision.

During lunch time pick-up, one of the departing 4 year old's took a rock and scratched every panel and light fixture on her car, all whilst his Mum was standing within 6M of the car, chatting to a friend.

The incident was captured on CCTV.

The cost of a proper repair is so close to the value of the car, I fear it being written off, which is something we could afford but would hurt us a lot financially.

Although the damage is only cosmetic, the car was pristine before the incident (I'm a fussy sod who takes good care of his stuff) and I don't see why we should tolerate driving a 'shed' around 'for the children'.

We're trying to seek restitution from the School's insurance (if it will cover it) but to cover our butts, we've reported the incident to the police (so and official record exists) and reported it to our insurer.

If we have to use our car insurance AND we're fortunate enough to not have the car written off, it's going to tank my partners insurance premiums.

Frankly, I want to encourage the police to be fully involved and start proceedings immediately for civil action via the small claims court. I just dont think I can have confidence that Mum is going to be wired in the same way I am - i.e. it's her liability and don't see why we should be financially crippled by her parental inattention.

AIBU?

@TormundGiantsbabe - to expand on my/our train of thought, she was considering the total cost of commute anyway and how it stacks up. The outcome of this will just be a contributing data-point to an ongoing discussion. I'm not forcing anyone out of a job. I married her knowing this is what she loves doing and fully accept that it's what she wants to do. It's more of a question of where she does it, to maximize our earning potential, frankly.

If we moved to Aberdeen, would I be expected to take on those commute costs as well? Of course not... :)

Last thought, as it comes to mind, we've had and incidents in the car park before (1x staff accident, 1 scrape of her own fault - different car) which I've bankrolled previously without a word being said. Surely at some stage I'm okay to ask what the correct next move is?

(just context so I dont come across like a total pr1ck)

you expect mum to pay up how much exactly?

I had a full detailing (several days of work polishing every inch of metal) done on a large saloon for £400.

And hairline scratches could be fixed by a smart repair potentially.

The car is very clearly NOT a write-off, with some hairline scratches on every (yeah right, what is he fucking Picasso?) panel , let's be honest, a dealer would give it a quick polish, and sell it at full price. Or at worst, put it through the bodyshop cheaply to smarten it up.

The parent is not liable for the damage (which is NOT criminal damage in any case, only civil), unless they are somehow responsible for it (e.g., handing the child the rock and showing him how to scratch the car) - Newton v Edgerley

I'd fully expect the mum to pay - she should have been supervising her LO - if she had this wouldn't have happened.

@KoalaDownUnder - The car wasn't £8k new dude. It was a damned site more. That's by-the-by. It's a metallic pearl, so it's not a simple flat colour is what I'm saying.

yanbu

I'm not a dude, and yes, I knew exactly what you meant.

My point still stands.

This is an issue for teachers. At my school, several cars were damaged by falling masonry. No signs about own risk. The only recourse is via your Union as the Council do not have to pay up, nor do car insurance companies. Even the Union has an upper limit well below the value of most cars.

I can easily believe that if every panel is damaged then it could reach £8k. I had scratches on one panel and that was close to £2k. There's so many people on this thread that don't have a clue what they're talking about re what being a write off means and how much paint work costs. You can do a lot of damage with a rock. If it was my dc i would expect to pay the excess.

@sparechange - not looking to milk it. If the bill is less, I'll be super happy. Yep - I may be worrying unduly in terms of gross cost. Until Monday, we just wont know frankly. I'll update the thread with the quotes.

My 'panic' if you will is borne from experience, seeing resprays and repairs get up to telephone numbers, even for things that look innocuous.

Nonetheless, I don't believe I'm being unreasonable in expecting Mum to put something in towards it. Clearly some beg to differ and that's fine :)

That said, there's been some interesting nuggets about home insurance, case law (I think :D ) and other repair options (although smart repairs are normally clearly visibly inferior and affect kerb value IMHO) so genuinely, thanks for the input all ! :D

@KoalaDownUnder - Sorry - figure of speech/verbal fart. I tend to use 'dude' as gender neutral. Thanks America :)

I guess we'll both know come Monday!

The car is very clearly NOT a write-off, with some hairline scratches on every (yeah right, what is he fucking Picasso?)

Not sure how you can tell that every panel is not scratched via the internet, but cool :)

Yes, he ran a rock other every panel. It's less deep in some areas than others but it looks like he's been playing 'racing cars' or such like, tracing on the car.

Fun game. Expensive game :)

No you are not wrong.Mother should be supervising her Dc. What if he had thrown the rock at someone etc.

MsJamieFraser

You do seem to be under playing this.

To do damage to all four quarters, the bonnet, boot and lights will take more than a "few seconds"

But mum dropping the ball doesnt stop her being liable, but as I said above house insurance should cover that. OP let your insurance company handle it all, they will talk to hers and it will be settled betweem them, saves alot of bassle for you and her.

I think you are NBU at all.

IF the mother cannot pay the full cost, and IF the nursery insurance does not cover it then getting it done on the insurance and asking the mother to pay your excess and the impact of the NCB and increased premiums could be route you could think about - though I am not sure how you would go about enforcing that.

I wouldn't even consider how they would pay
Their problem not yours
They are responsible for their child

This is why it's absolutely bonkers to drive around delicate works of art that'll cost you a good portion of a house deposit to put right after a few hairline scratches. Mind is boggled at this thread.

loopy. If you moved to Aberdeen, the commute costs would be the least of your worries, have you seen the house prices up there 😱. 😝

In the interests of getting the job done - consider replace!ent panels from online scrappers. You can get the exact colour match and hood as new. Will slash the cost considerably even if she has to pay to have them fitted.

Just a thought.

Yanbu OP. Good luck getting the costs covered. Will be interested to see how this goes.

@OohMavis - That's what repairing new(ish) cars can cost sadly. An accountant friend of mine once talked to me of the folly of cars and I kind of got his point, cerebrally at least!

Selling it and buying a 'banger' has come to mind also, as an option.

Its accidental damage if its a 4 year old.

The parent won't be legally responsible and it will cost you money to take it to court to force her to pay as its civil not criminal. And if you loose you won't get that money back either. Are you willing to go down that route?

If I was the parent I would be hedging my bets on that, especially if you are saying £8k as I couldn't afford it. If it is a scratch with a rock from a 4 year old its a respray job not replacing panels. You are being incredibly precious about your car tbh. Almost to the point, I would say you are trying to pull a swift one to milk the situation.

If I was the mother and you did decide to take me to court, I would also be making damn sure I said how unreasonable the nursery staff in taking me to court to everyone who would listen. I would consider it a potential risk of the job.

Oh and your attitude to your wife STINKS. You really lost any sympathy I had for you at that point.

It will be an insurance job. Your insurance. That's what your car insurance is for - incidents not covered by other events - provided you have that legal of coverage. If you don't have that level of coverage, more fool you. See above about the risks of the job.

Accept it instead of trying to suggest a FOUR YEAR OLD is criminally responsible for something.

HTH.

Blimey, maybe I have a bizarrely angelic child, but DD at 4 would have known that you don't drag a rock across someone's car.

You are looking at a respray. You would probably even get someone like Chips Away to come and do it in a few hours.

I thought that when someone scratched my car but, because of where it was and the angles of the panel, Chips Away couldn't help.

This is why it's absolutely bonkers to drive around delicate works of art that'll cost you a good portion of a house deposit to put right after a few hairline scratches. Mind is boggled at this thread.

Are you saying none of us should have nice cars in case some kid is allowed to gouge lumps out of them? I love my car and would be very pissed off if it happened to mine.

I hope you can get this sorted out OP.