To expect Mum to pay up after 4YO child scratched every panel on our car

[LupoLoopy]

Context: My wife works at a nursery school as an assistant.. Her car was parked in the staff car park, which the kids egress though when they leave, under parental supervision.

During lunch time pick-up, one of the departing 4 year old's took a rock and scratched every panel and light fixture on her car, all whilst his Mum was standing within 6M of the car, chatting to a friend.

The incident was captured on CCTV.

The cost of a proper repair is so close to the value of the car, I fear it being written off, which is something we could afford but would hurt us a lot financially.

Although the damage is only cosmetic, the car was pristine before the incident (I'm a fussy sod who takes good care of his stuff) and I don't see why we should tolerate driving a 'shed' around 'for the children'.

We're trying to seek restitution from the School's insurance (if it will cover it) but to cover our butts, we've reported the incident to the police (so and official record exists) and reported it to our insurer.

If we have to use our car insurance AND we're fortunate enough to not have the car written off, it's going to tank my partners insurance premiums.

Frankly, I want to encourage the police to be fully involved and start proceedings immediately for civil action via the small claims court. I just dont think I can have confidence that Mum is going to be wired in the same way I am - i.e. it's her liability and don't see why we should be financially crippled by her parental inattention.

AIBU?

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Have the parents actually been informed?

Before starting all the police proceedings, it seems only sensible to find out if the parents of the child are willing to pay up. It seems a bit premature to start with all the official stuff and not even give the family the opportunity to be sensible?

On the other hand I think the schools insurance might be the way to cover it, so that avenue should be explored asap.

[CocktailQueen]

Oop0s, x--posted.

You're well within your rights.

Why should you have your car ruined by someone else??

Get the CCTV footage. Let us know how the talks go with the mother!!

[CocktailQueen]

Legally, I am afraid YABU. The law considers the actions of young children - like cats - to be beyond their owners' control wink. Morally, of course she should pay but I don't fancy your chances of getting cash out of her.

Really, ShinyNew? Are you a lawyer? How unfair.

[LupoLoopy]

What do I expect the police to do about it? Very little, bar talking to Mum advising her to pay attention to what her child is doing in car parks, as he could get hurt or do serious damage, both situations being avoidable. I already understand he's WAY under the threshold for criminal responsibility. Hell, I dont even want a Policeman telling him off, potentially scarring him for life.

The main reason I involved the Police was to demonstrate to my insurer I'd made maximum effort, and put the scare up Mum, who I'm livid at, frankly.

[Floggingmolly]

But the child isn't being presented with a bill, his mum is. The mum who stood within feet of him as he defaced the car...

[HirplesWithHaggis]

What do you expect the police to do? Four is well under the age of criminal responsibility.

[shinynewusername]

I am not a lawyer and would be delighted - for the OP's sake - to be told I am wrong, but I don't think I am.

[LupoLoopy]

@ShinyNewUsername

Saddened to hear that. I feared that could be the case. I must ask, are you sure of this, or is it a gut feeling?

[LupoLoopy]

@ShinyNew - Cross post. Never mind :)

[cdtaylornats]

If its in the staff car park and damaged by a "customer" shouldn't you claim from the school's insurance and let them chase the parents?

[AdrenalineFudge]

Yanbu and I'd deal with this from the premise that the mother won't acquiesce. She might, but from what you say it seems like it'll cost a fair bit for whoever's going to cover the cost.

Your wife's car aside, wtf is the mother playing at not watching a 4yo in a car park!?

[Rezolution123]

This sounds harsh but I think the parent should pay for the damage. If you just shrug it off and she gets away with it then she won't bother to stop the child next time it happens.
By the way, does this 4-year-old have a track record? Other parents may have had similar things happen to their cars.

[LupoLoopy]

@AdrenalineFudge - Quite. Part of why I've involved the Police - It's a safety issue as much as anything else. The child might not need a telling off (at that age they're still learning about cause and effect) but Mum could do with a chat?

@All - Thanks for the input! On the whole I am NBU, so it would appear. I'll investigate all avenues, and will update you all post chat with MD on this coming week.

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

How deep a scratch did a 4 year old with a stone manage to require all new panels costing over 4 grand! Surely you can just respray the car?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

Did you give the mums details to your I insurers? It is possible this could be covered by their home insurance. I had a quick Google, and I think Shiny may be right, which is kind of unbelievable.

[Lemonblast]

YANBU.
And something seriously wrong with the child's behaviour.

[drspouse]

I have a quite hard to control four year old and I'd be watching him very closely and even if I had to pay in installments over years and years I'd pay (or maybe pray it's covered on household insurance like if you lose something away from home).
YADNBU

[Lunar1]

The mum should pay, why on earth should yours or the schools premium go up because she's too thick to supervise her child!

[LupoLoopy]

@ineedamoreadultieradult - How much do you think a full respray and four new light fixtures cost?

[lottielou7]

Of course she should pay - why on earth was she not watching her child? If people get away with this sort of thing it just reinforces a lack of need to take responsibility for ones actions.

[LupoLoopy]

That's part of the problem. Very few people know how much car repairs costs, even minor cosmetic ones, if it involves paint. They can think they're going into a £500 conversation when it's actually a £5k one. You cant lay paint (properly) without it hurting the wallet, I'm sad to say.

[228agreenend]

Are there any 'Your car is left at your own risk and we are not responsible' signs anywhere. If so the school's insurance may not cover it.

I think if this is the case, then a vandalism conviction is the way forward.

[hollinhurst84]

To put it in context someone punched my car and dented the frame above the window. That was £750 and I lost all my no claims as it went down as a fault because he was a pedestrian and they couldn't claim back. And that was one punch so one dent

If someone did that I would be livid, child or not. If it's not done properly then you're affecting the value of the car if you come to resell. Plus who wants a sparkling new car that's been fixed not quite right? It would bug me every time I looked at it

[elephantpig]

I know nothing about cars so find it totally believable that this damage is going to cost up to 8k. But just out of interest, would you be able to put some pictures up of the damage? I'm intrigued to see how much damage the child caused and how bad 8k worth of damage look.

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

I guess the problem might be is that the mum might not be able to afford 4k cash. If she has household insurance she might be covered on that??? But if she hasn't got insurance and hasn't got the cash what can you do? Child is under the age of criminal responsibility so will police be that interested?