To ask a slightly disgusting question re. your toilet habits?

[MattDillonsPants]

Don't read if eating.

Well DH and I have a disagreement.

I say if you need a poo, you need a poo...well I do anyway...there's no waiting about it. Personally I have to go immediately.

He says he can decide when to go...he knows "I need a poo" but can choose to wait sometimes for hours.

I say he's caused himself issues in this department by waiting habitually...which he does regularly.

He has all kinds of digestive problems including wind, diarrhoea and constipation.

He says these issues are simply because he has food sensitivities...he MAY but won't get that checked out...I say if he would listen to his body and poo when it wants to...then a lot would be sorted out.

As an IBS sufferer, I usually simply cannot hold on for long at all.

If I have to go, I have to go NOW. I hate it and I dread the feeling of needing to go when I am not near a toilet.

Sufferers of IBS and other bowel complaints will know what I mean when I say that your bowels can rule your life.

I envy people who can hold on if they find themselves in a tight spot. I can't and have sometimes wished I could. Not hold on for long, but just enough to take away the paranoia about being more than 30 seconds from a toilet.

When you've got Crohns Disease or Ulcerative Collitis, you certainly have NO CHOICE when to take a poo!! It's a mad dash to the nearest loo (if you've got Crohns, you ALWAYS have a loo in sight). Your DH is definitely doing himself harm by "putting off" going to the loo. Your body tells you when to go to the loo. He should take serious heed of his body's signals.

... am I wrong to prefer to poo at work, as I have a toddler at home.

If the dirty bugger is farting a lot, then he needs to go to the toilet. My oldest does this and I tell him he's to stay out if whatever room I'm in until he goes for a poo. I'm a windy cow, but it means I need a good poo if it starts. I also have IBS and went this morning at 9am and have had to go again, because I had sweetcorn for breakfast. wails ITS NOT FAIR! I SHOULD WEIGH ABOUT 8st! How can I poo sooooo much but still be overweight?

Poverty It's not "dirty" to fart...and it simply doesn't always mean you need a poo. Some people just have excess wind.

My oldest does this and I tell him he's to stay out if whatever room I'm in until he goes for a poo.

How can you order someone to poo?

I too have a public loo phobia - won't use them ever unless about to be standing in a puddle, and then develop an almost 'no touch technique' for getting in and out. Manic behaviour passed down from mother. Also if going away for a week - that's it - I have complete shutdown too.
Evidently if you hang on to a poo it then tends to go back up the passage and moisture starts to get absorbed by the intestines. You then a have a hard and difficult to pass lump. (Info from nursing friend) However, this would still not induce met to use a public loo - perhaps this is the problem with the man concerned?

I remember a GGA (and a district nurse) telling me in a booming voice Polkadots, you must never* ignore the urge to evacuate.".

I'm also an at-home person though (unless I've had a strong coffee, then all bets are off!).

Aargh, messed up my bolding:

"Polkadots, you must never ignore the urge to evacuate."

I agree with you. I sometimes get terrible cramps when I have to hold it in...

Sorry OP, I did word that badly. I know it's not dirty to fart. I have IBS so do have trouble, however if he is holding onto his poo, then he must be farting more, than if he got rid of it. Also if he's holding the poo, then the farts must be foul. To not even attempt to use the loo, if it helps decrease the farts, shows a lack of consideration towards you.

I can't believe I'm discussing fates online.

I don't irder him to go to the loo, I just order him to stay out of the room I'm in, until he TRIES to poo. He has a horrible diet and his farts are absolutely foul. No way is he sitting with me, making me gag. Feck, they'd make your eyes water.

IME, though it is usually possible to defer going, doing so regularly leads to constipation. Remember having that problem when I had a young baby and just didn't ever have the time to go 'properly'.

Poverty oh right, it sounded like you demanded he pooed

I used to hold it in when I was younger as it felt good Now I go as soon as the urge takes me! I want it over with

I'm with you, OP. I was baffled when I discovered that a friend would ALWAYS wait to get home rather than poo in a public toilet while out.

Poo holding is the devil's work! Let your wind fly free! I listen to DH in the morning letting all his farts out that have accrued overnight and I just don't understand why he doesn't just let rip in his sleep like I do Then he complains about constipation

DH knows I absolutely need to go about 90 seconds after finishing my second cup of coffee every morning and holds the door open for me. (In Winter he can sometimes be persuaded to warm the seat up too!)

If you need a dump, you need a dump. Waiting is bad - waste must be disposed asap and if he has the symptoms you describe, get him to the docs NOW. My son's father-in-law had the same ones and it was bowl cancer.

Surely when you gotta go, you gotta go. Hanging on can only cause problems, like constipation, etc. Most of us prefer to go in the comfort and privacy of our own homes - I hate using a public loo for poo but if needs must, etc.

If I need a poo I go as soon as I'm near a toilet. If I hang on unnecessarily I'm more likely to get constipation and fart a lot. I am not precious about which toilets I use as long as reasonably clean and paper there.

I'm with the husband. I can sense that I need a poo, and just wait perfectly happily until the right time. Once it's game on I'm in and out quickly. I'm perfectly healthy and get a bit sick of people telling me it's wrong...if it was wrong, I'm sure my body would make me poo there and then (as others experience). I am rather flatulent thesedays, but I've had the same poo'ing strategy all my life and wasn't so windy before childbirth....

And another thing - if it's so bad to hold on to waste, why do we have rectums and bladders? They are waste storage areas; if it was so awful we'd just constantly drain.

Depends on the poo. Sometimes I need to go urgently - I had to pop into the gym the other morning enroute to the station. Other times, I can wait an hour or two until an opportunity arises (usually when travelling, for instance). There's no hard (!) and fast rule.

I have trouble holding on if I need a wee, and what has always intrigued me is what on earth ladies do in public toilets that take them so long! I'm in and out in a minute or so, and most others seem to be in there AGES, which is annoying when you are squirming outside trying to hold on! What do they do in there for goodness sake?!

I'm a nurse, I can hold on to my wee for hours....