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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a slightly disgusting question re. your toilet habits?

211 replies

MattDillonsPants · 07/05/2016 01:01

Don't read if eating.

Well DH and I have a disagreement.

I say if you need a poo, you need a poo...well I do anyway...there's no waiting about it. Personally I have to go immediately.

He says he can decide when to go...he knows "I need a poo" but can choose to wait sometimes for hours.

I say he's caused himself issues in this department by waiting habitually...which he does regularly.

He has all kinds of digestive problems including wind, diarrhoea and constipation.

He says these issues are simply because he has food sensitivities...he MAY but won't get that checked out...I say if he would listen to his body and poo when it wants to...then a lot would be sorted out.

OP posts:
TheLambShankRedemption · 07/05/2016 08:43

I'm a 'at least 2, more often 3' times a day person so can poo anywhere: at work, at a friend's house or a public loo. Better out than in.

I'm always fascinated by stories of holding for days on end, I have no idea how you manage it.

ludog · 07/05/2016 08:44

I'm another who has to go when the need strikes. I can't understand the not using a public loo thing either.

UnGoogleable · 07/05/2016 08:54

Baboon you don't poo at all when your DH is home. Really? Does he think you're some kind of mystical being who never shits?

I have bowel endometriosis. When I have to go, I have to go. It's really no big deal. I'm pretty sure all human beings poo, even the Queen Grin

LottieDoubtie · 07/05/2016 08:57

Surely everyone loves a work poo? The satisfaction of doing on their time?

No? Just me then Grin Wink

UnGoogleable · 07/05/2016 09:02

I don't particularly like to poo at work, but it's just a necessity. However I have a Work colleague who says exactly what you said Lottie - he'll announce he's going for a poo,then say "isn't it great, I get paid for having a shit"

I have a theory as to why men can sit on the toilet for hours while women are over and done in a flash. I think it's because for men, sitting down on the loo is a relatively rare experience, and therefore they relish it. Whereas women sit down every time so it's nothing new!

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 09:05

lamb shank 3 times a day!!

I go 3 times a week!

Wanderingwondering · 07/05/2016 09:07

The one time I held it due to sharing a hotel room with a relatively new friend made myself ill so I'm definitely on your side!

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2016 09:08

Why does he "choose" to wait for hours? What possible reason could you have for needing a crap but not going? Confused. It's very unhealthy.

BillSykesDog · 07/05/2016 09:10

I can choose when to go. I do suffer from constipation and don't get the urge often, and when I do it's not urgent. Sometimes I actually have to go and have a strain to see if I need one because the urge just won't come on its own.

I don't have any sort of problem with pooing mentally though, don't mind public loos or friends houses. It's just the way I am. I have no real sensation of 'holding on' even if I do feel the need to go. No discomfort or anything.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 07/05/2016 09:12

I sort of agree with you both. I can hold it for literally days if I have to, but it's not good for you and I do suffer with digestive problems.

I have a massive issue with using public toilets or going while theirs someone in the house. I've gotten slightly better though and have on a couple of desperate occasions gone on a public loo ( but only because there was no one in there Grin )

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/05/2016 09:12

DH used to go to work early, clock in, then take the paper into the loo and stay there for 15-30 mins. It was a vast-majority-male environment, and he once achieved "legend" Hmm status at work for creating such a stench in the loo that no one else could use it for over 30 minutes.

Needless to say, I am completely unimpressed by this, and he's not allowed to take his phone into the loo at home, as we only have one loo.

BaboonBottom · 07/05/2016 09:13

If he's home I literally can't go. It can be uncomfortable but I physically can't go.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 09:13

No it's not uncomfortable to hold, so far I have had no health probs. Surely you hold in the car sometimes at the very least.

I go 1/2 a day. DH is 4. I tell him it's coz he's full of shit Grin

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 09:14

BaboonBottom I feel so sorry for you. What if you have the squits? Surely that has happened during you relationship?

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2016 09:23

I can hold it for literally days. I do suffer with digestive problems
Those two facts are not entirely unrelated... And I imagine the second is a direct consequence of the first. Nobody "has to" hold on for days, why would you choose to??

Earbudbitter · 07/05/2016 09:26

I have ibs and when I have to go I have to go. I used to get really embarassed pooing in public toilets... now I think I'm not causing my bowels to hurt just because it's in public and what would people think. I however used to poo about 5-8 times a day. I'm much better now at about 3 times a day!

Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 07/05/2016 09:26

Flogging I asked him just...I said "DH, why is it that you choose to not poo when you're at home with a perfectly nice and private toilet?"

And he said "I just don't like doing it."

Confused

I pressed him and he just hates the sensation!

He's not on the spectrum though I've sometimes wondered if he has ADH. Never heard of ADH affecting sensory stuff though.

OP posts:
Shinyshoes2 · 07/05/2016 09:27

I literally have to go there and then if I need a poo ... If I try holding it I literally feel sick and end up pooing myself , which ive done on occasion , it's literally 10 minutes from the school to home but ive been caught short 1/2 way and unfortunately it's just " happened " and I can't stop it

Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 07/05/2016 09:28

Ear Well that's quite right! Though I don't have IBS, if I'm out and about in town and need a poo...I'm going for one!

Public loos aren't great but they provide the correct facilities! I sometimes line the seat with paper if the loos aren't very clean...I don't make a lot of noise...mine are fast and to the point style poos.

OP posts:
EmmapausalBitch · 07/05/2016 09:29

I enjoyed reading this thread while having a poo. That was the first one of the day. I usually do 4 a day. I have no problem going anywhere. I do seem to get through a lot of toilet paper, but I think this is preferable to being constipated.

FeckOfffCup · 07/05/2016 09:32

If I'm in town or at work and I need a poo I'll just wait until i get home, I hate public toilets so avoid them if I can. Our work toilet is probably more vile than your average public loo as well, and there's only one toilet so if you go for a dump there's the panic it will smell / not flush and everyone will know it was you BlushGrin

I avoid public toilets even for a wee, if I'm going out I go for a wee before I leave and rarely ever need one before I get home again. I have a weird steel bladder though, don't know why.

supersop60 · 07/05/2016 09:35

OP - do we have the same DP? I just don't get it; holding on is so bad for you. happy pooing!

BearFeet · 07/05/2016 09:36

If I need a poo it comes on very suddenly. I will happily poo anywhere. If it's a good friends house I'm sure they wouldn't mind you going for a poo

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 09:37

Well nature did give us the ability to hold for a reason but I think it's how long you hold for rather than holding full stop which is bad for you

readytorage · 07/05/2016 09:38

I usually need to go immediately and my DH can hold it in.