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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a slightly disgusting question re. your toilet habits?

211 replies

MattDillonsPants · 07/05/2016 01:01

Don't read if eating.

Well DH and I have a disagreement.

I say if you need a poo, you need a poo...well I do anyway...there's no waiting about it. Personally I have to go immediately.

He says he can decide when to go...he knows "I need a poo" but can choose to wait sometimes for hours.

I say he's caused himself issues in this department by waiting habitually...which he does regularly.

He has all kinds of digestive problems including wind, diarrhoea and constipation.

He says these issues are simply because he has food sensitivities...he MAY but won't get that checked out...I say if he would listen to his body and poo when it wants to...then a lot would be sorted out.

OP posts:
findingmyfeet12 · 07/05/2016 14:01

I don't like public loos either but only because I have issues with the cleanliness. I'd rather hold it in until I get home. I can't go at my in-laws either because everyone in the house can hear what does on in their loo.

I recently had to provide a urine sample in hospital following a miscarriage. There was only one loo in the emergency unit and it was splattered with blood. I ended up hovering above it and then wiping myself (for ages) with wet wipes.

Sallystyle · 07/05/2016 14:06

I don't poo much at all. I have IBS, I have times where I have to go urgently but the majority of the time I could hold it in for a long time. Like I said, I don't poo much in the first place.

My DH can't hold it in at all.

RegTheMonkey1 · 07/05/2016 15:44

Reading all these poo stories reminds me of something I had blocked from my memory but now feel I mus share. I was in town and realised I was going to have to poo very urgently. Luckily I was yards away from John Lewis and knew they had lovely clean loos. Went into the cubicle and, as they say in the film 'Bridesmaids' it came out of me 'like lava'. On and on it went, and I had to use a ton of toilet paper to get clean. I stood up to flush - and the bloody loo was broken - it wouldn't flush! I had filled the bowl to the brim with poo and paper and there was no way to flush it away. I went all hot and cold with fear and panic. So I listened until I thought there were no other women in the toilets, ran out, washed my hands and ran away from John Lewis. Never been back in again because my husband teased me that it would be on cctv, and staff would be watching out for me! That feels good having confessed. Sorry to the John Lewis plumber ...

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:51

Pooing the days after giving birth was terrifying!

UptownFunk00 · 07/05/2016 16:11

I can't hold it in no, but I have IBS and it's very painful if I do.

Sometimes I get the feeling I might be able to go and can ignore that for a while, but it's not a definite need.

FeckOfffCup · 07/05/2016 16:15

Oh yes the after-birth poo.
I was terrified of it after having an episiotomy. Think it was a good 3 or 4 days before I finally went and it was like giving birth again but not as painful, even though all I'd eaten was fruit and water. The poo fear lasted about 3 weeks before I realised all was back to normal working order. Awful.

Does anyone else get nervous poo? When you're really excited/nervous about something and your poo is totally different.Blush

SalemSaberhagen · 07/05/2016 16:16

Oh God middle, the first post birth poo! I worked myself into such a state (lots and lots of stitches from a big episiotomy) that I didn't go for 6 days. The whole time the MW was telling me that I was making it worse and the longer I left it the worse it would be. It just bunged me up further Sad

When I finally did do the poo (with a maternity towel pressed against the stitches, it helped a lot) DP hugged me in the manner of a returning war hero Grin

FutureGadgetsLab · 07/05/2016 16:18

I used glycerin suppositories after my cesarean to make sure all poos were effortless. I'd recommend doing that!

FeckOfffCup · 07/05/2016 16:19

Regthemonkey hahaha, I've been in a similar situation. Happened to me just as we were leaving our old house on moving day. Went for a poo and the fucking toilet broke. Had no choice but to leave it Blush

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 16:28

I was on iron tablets so backed up. It was so scary. And yup, with stitches and a shower after. They don't tell you this stuff!

findingmyfeet12 · 07/05/2016 16:39

Is it possible for stitches to burst when going to the loo after giving birth?

mygrandchildrenrock · 07/05/2016 17:02

For those of you who are shy Blush of pooing anywhere but your home, did you know if you put a layer of toilet paper in the bowl first, it 'catches' your poo and there is no plopping sound. It really is a very quiet poo! I just thought it might help some of you!

TheCrumpettyTree · 07/05/2016 17:19

Does anyone else get nervous poo? When you're really excited/nervous about something and your poo is totally different

Yup!

Mishaps · 07/05/2016 17:37

It is not good to retain poo in the rectum. Firstly it will dry out while residing there and become a constipated stool requiring massive effort to pass; secondly there is evidence that cancer of the rectum can become more likely if stool is retained in the rectum regularly.

So when you feel the call to stool, do not ignore it!

paxillin · 07/05/2016 17:42

His constipation is his own work. Water is reabsorbed in the colon, he holds on so his faeces contain less water.

If he continues, he might develop faecal impaction, where liques poo squeezes around a solid mass of old poo inside. This can be mistaken for diarrhea. He might have nausea, abdominal pain after eating and if done long enough might require surgery.

Cadenza1818 · 07/05/2016 17:50

It's a man thing. Isn't it cos it you're a woman you can do both sitting dien but a man has to distinguish between both and therefore control it?! That's my theory. My dh is exactly like yours. Drives me crazy!

Sofiria · 07/05/2016 17:54

I once didn't go for five days while camping. It wasn't in any way deliberate, I just didn't feel the urge at all. Literally as soon as I got back through my own front door I had horrendous cramps and had to run to the loo.

I never poo in public loos but usually go every morning, and the Portaloos at the campsite weren't disgusting or anything, so this was odd.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 17:58

I can hold a poo and wee (and I'm a girl)

RedOnHerHedd · 07/05/2016 18:22

I have issues about pooing in any other toilet other than my own. I'm ok on holiday in MY apartment toilet, but not in public toilets. So I will wait til I get home. When we go camping, it's that bad for me that I have to go to the toilet block in the dead of night so that there's no other people in there. I just CAN'T go otherwise. I wish I wasn't like it. Even if we have visitors staying, I will wait til I take my shower before I can go. I'll put the shower on, go to toilet and then have a shower.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 18:23

My last comment meant whilst weeing, just read it back Confused

EmmaWoodlouse · 07/05/2016 18:28

and there is no plopping sound

Why does there need to be no plopping sound? I literally cannot imagine that anyone who uses public toilets is unaware that everybody poos, or will think less of you for doing a poo.

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2016 18:53

I had to laugh at The call to stool! (sorry, Mishaps).
It sounds like there should be a guardsman in full regalia sounding a bugle as you march into the loo.

FutureGadgetsLab · 07/05/2016 19:05

Why does there need to be no plopping sound? I literally cannot imagine that anyone who uses public toilets is unaware that everybody poos, or will think less of you for doing a poo.

I would be mortified if someone heard me doing a poo. Even people hearing me peeing makes me uncomfortable. Some of us do not like it.

findingmyfeet12 · 07/05/2016 19:07

After 11 years of marriage I still wouldn't want my dh to hear any noise coming from the loo when I'm in there.

MrsMook · 07/05/2016 19:41

I try to go when I have the first urge, it is easier then. At work I'll often have to wait for a convenient opportunity.

I have IBS that's often triggered by certain foods. If I get a cold tingle, it's time to dash, but very carefully...

I'm not squeamish about where I go. Even a Mongolian toilet pit with a tactical hole to squat over while balancing on planks was preferable to the hedgerows of nettles and holly on the Duke of Edinburgh's award. It only took me 20 years to realise that that was probably an IBS incident triggered by the soya content of beanfeast. Oh how I suffered that weekend Blush