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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think when I'm running you shouldn't throw water over me

151 replies

woolypigs · 06/05/2016 23:40

Went running yesterday, next to traffic. I was aware of a red van next to me and the occupants shouted at me, I blanked them and carried on running. When the van caught up with me (due to traffic) as they drove past they threw water at me.
I was left feeling quite upset

OP posts:
glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:27

I had a white van man swerve to a halt in front of me, jump out and start yelling in my face, telling me I should be cycling on the pavement and not the road (?!), then say if he was married to me he'd be ashamed of me because I should be at home getting my man's tea on and not clogging up the road

astonishing!
must have been very frightening and upsetting, but when you think about it utterly ludicrous, had it been me I'd have liked to respond by laughing and asking him if he'd just driven here from the 1950's

or laughing and 'me married to you..in your dreams'

ah, l'esprit d'escalier :o

yes I know this kind of thing isnt a laughing matter....it's more that the perpetrators make themselves a laughing stock with their utterly stupid and ridiculous outbursts

FreshwaterSelkie · 07/05/2016 16:35

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open at the time, glassgarden, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I eventually managed to say something like "if I was married to you damn straight I'd be ashamed too" and flounced off on my bike. But my heart was hammering. I thought at one point he might hit me, he was absolutely raging - I had done nothing wrong except cycle along a stretch of road that has those traffic calming narrowing things and I think he thought I should be giving way to cars? Er, no.

I didn't report it because I was too shaken up to get his reg - I never manage to think straight enough at the time to remember, or if I do check, the adreniline is pumping and I forget. Ho hum! It's just a funny story now Smile no lasting damage.

Woolypigs, I forgot to say I hope it won't put you off - keep running if only to spite the haters!

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:43

But my heart was hammering. I thought at one point he might hit me, he was absolutely raging
I didnt mean to make light of it, I would be scared, it sounds as if he was full of rage for some unrelated reasons and it just happened to be triggered by you.
When faced with a furious person bigger and stronger than you are it is never a good idea to challenge them.
I suppose unless you are armed or a highly skilled fighter...then again it probably 'aint wurf it' :o

RaspberryOverload · 07/05/2016 16:56

DailyMailAreAFuckingJoke Sat 07-May-16 10:33:44
I stopped cycling on the roads after a van driver's passenger would down his window and slapped me on the arse as I was cycling. They thought it was hilarious when the force of the slap caused me to fall off my bike.

This happened to me about 30 years ago. I haven't ridden a bike in a long time.

FreshwaterSelkie · 07/05/2016 17:11

no, it's fine Glassgarden, laugh away, he was pathetic and risible! I do laugh now. And I am still on my bike. It makes me sad when I read that people are put off cycling or running by shit like this.

I live in the countryside now and am rarely troubled, but when I ran in the city I had one earphone in so I stayed aware of what was around me, but could block it out if i wanted, and a cap pulled right down over my eyes so I could avoid eye contact. Isn't it sad that we need to do stuff like that? But I wouldn't ever let it stop me going out, bollocks to that.

Changeynamename · 07/05/2016 17:14

Some dickheads threw a sandwich out the car at me when I was walking with newborn ds in a pram.some people are just pricks. Angry

megletthesecond · 07/05/2016 17:26

I've never been yelled at while running. But last summer some lads hollered at me from a car. I was walking back to work in a business park and they yelled something like "I bet she takes it up the arse!" at me. I took their car registration and reported it on 101.

onitlikeacarbonnet · 07/05/2016 17:30

selkie I think I love you just a tiny bit Grin

CruCru · 07/05/2016 17:38

This is why I wear sunglasses whenever I run. So I don't have to make eye contact.

AerithEarthling · 07/05/2016 18:07

What scumbags, some people are just pure nasty.
My friend told me a story of her friend who through eggs at some girls at a bus stop after asking them for directions, two weeks later she had a bad car crash.
I do believe that was her karma.
I don't understand how people find these types of things funny.

Original poster
woolypigs · 07/05/2016 20:45

The police have got in contact with me and are going to come and see me. I am wondering if something else/similar has happened.
I do think we need to start taking a stand at these incidents, I am absolutely shocked at some of the stories above.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 07/05/2016 20:48

I think all of these things should be reported to the police but I suspect many victims worry about making a fuss over nothing. I wonder if there would be any value in the police creating an app of some kind to report things that people may think is small but that may build a bigger picture.

Meeep · 07/05/2016 20:59

I had eggs thrown at me from a van when I was pushing newborn DD in her pram, with some rude comment, don't remember what exactly, and a big handful of M&Ms thrown at me one time from a car window, they really hurt.

AlpacaPicnic · 07/05/2016 21:06

The problem with reporting it, is that when it happens like my milkshake incident, it's so fast and so shocking that it takes a few seconds to process what's gone on. By that time, unless you are very lucky and they've been stopped by traffic or lights, they've long disappeared out of sight.

My DH gets a bit of abuse as well. He has very long hair. Maybe they think he's a girl...? That was definately the case once. Two blokes walking behind us clocked we were holding hands and starting abusing the 'fucking lesbians' to which FB turned around revealing his manly Viking stylee beard and shouted back 'I'm not a lesbian you twat' Grin

AlpacaPicnic · 07/05/2016 21:07

FB? DH!

minesapintofwine · 07/05/2016 21:35

I am really shocked at some of the stories here there are some twats around Shock

I go running and have only ever had a beep which doesn't really bother me but I am Angry at some things pp have been subjected to on here.

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 21:53

report things that people may think is small but that may build a bigger picture

indeed, I can imagine that having done something like this and gotten a 'buzz' out of it the perpetrator is likely to repeat it at least and very probably escalate things

if this is how these things tend to pan out then police would be aware of these patterns and that would explain why they are taking notice of the incident

0urKid · 07/05/2016 22:28

Years ago I once had a truck drive past and the passenger shouted "You nasty fat cunt. You should kill yourself!" The next day guess who knocked on asking for scrap metal? I flew at him. When my step dad and brothers came to the door to see what was happening he shit himself. I stopped my brother kicking shit out of him but not before I broke his mirror and slapped him. I'm normally placid but it was the anniversary of my dads birthday and I'd just come out of the cemetery gates. In fact he would have seen me crying. Blush

MarthaCliffYouCunt · 07/05/2016 23:15

I was wondering if we should start a twitter hashtag to record all these incidents in one place. Something like "thrown at me" and people can document where they were, what time of day, what was thrown, what was said and if they have it a vehicle number plate and description of attacker and vehicle. It may even be useful if someone else had witnessed it and recognised from the description so could provide a witness statement to police if necessary. Could also link to facebook and other social media to get it known just how much of an issue this is.

MarthaCliffYouCunt · 07/05/2016 23:17

Could also tag your local police department.

OddBoots · 08/05/2016 07:53

I thought about Twitter but I don't know if it would encourage copycat dickheads.

AlpacaPicnic · 08/05/2016 07:54

Ive got a horrible feeling that might just encourage the twats Martha... Remember happy slapping?

SewSlapdash · 08/05/2016 08:19

Marth the everyday sexism project is exactly that. Worth looking it up, they had enough for a book within weeks.

vladthedisorganised · 08/05/2016 09:59

I've had similar. One bizarre incident took place when I was working by an open window and two little shitstains decided it would be oh-so-hilarious to lob an open - and nearly full - can of pop at my head: fortunately I ducked in time as I suspect it would have been nasty if it had hit me.

More frightening was the time when two more arsewipes threw a firework into an underpass where I was walking with infant DD. They knew we were there. Had I not sprinted as fast as I did, I don't like to think of the consequences. Sadly, they had scarpered by the time I had calmed down enough to report them.

What got me in both cases was that they thought it was funny. Even at my stupidest, I really don't think I would have found the possibility of injuring another person funny. Horrible.

PovertyPain · 08/05/2016 10:16

This is the reason I can't let my little girl go to the shop by herself. It's five minutes away and she's 20 but she has autism and an experience like this would devastate her. She told me that, before she came to live with me, she used to be sent to the corner shop and one day a man started talking to her and , naturally she didn't answer. The pos followed her all the way to the shop asking her why she wouldn't answer. It was only because the lovely shop keeper told him to leave her alone, or else, that he fucked off. The shop keeper sent one if his workers to walk her back home. She is a well endowed young woman but looks about 13/14 years of age. She couldn't tell me much about what he said, but what dirty bastard follows a young woman, or girl, as he probably thought.