AIBU to think when I'm running you shouldn't throw water over me

[woolypigs]

Went running yesterday, next to traffic. I was aware of a red van next to me and the occupants shouted at me, I blanked them and carried on running. When the van caught up with me (due to traffic) as they drove past they threw water at me.
I was left feeling quite upset

I was out for drinks once in a pub with a friend when a couple of guys started to chat us up. We were perfectly friendly and nice but let them know that we just wanted to be by ourselves at our table. All fine. Then about two hours later, when it was closing time and we were getting up to leave, they walked passed and threw a pint of lager at us. We were so shocked, but tried not to let it ruin our night, and went clubbing stinking of stale lager!

PP upthread is so right. Some men just don't understand what women often have to put up with.

I had water squirted at me from a passing car when I was a teen, just walking down the road - no shouting, no eye contact with them, nothing. Just squirted me. Some people are just such twats.

I also knew someone pushed off their bike for a 'laugh'. He was taken to hospital.

Don't let it stop you running, OP - maybe vary your route. One of my friends doesn't run alone because of this behaviour - she joined a running club. She said she was intimidated by a group of lads in a car driving alongside her on a quiet country lane, who slowed down, and were shouting stuff at her. She was terrified.

I was on a bus once with a friend, when I was a student, on our way to a night out. These yobby guys got on and started pestering us. Not really badly and we wernt rude to them.
When they got off they shook a can of lager and then sprayed it over us and an old man sat near us. We found it borderline funny at the time ( dont know why).

I run regularly and have only experienced one incident where van men went "boo" when driving past & nearly gave me a heart attack. Since then I run against the traffic if I'm on a main road - also better for spotting potential puddle-abusers. But mainly I choose residential roads, fields, canal paths etc. Residential roads can be fun esp when you find cut-throughs you never knew were there!

Yanbu. I probably would have cried. What is it about running / exercising in public that 'provokes' men into having to bring you down like this? Is it because you're doing something that's not for their benefit? Does it threaten them in some way? I've had this conversation with my partner before and he believes that women 'read to much into it' and if a man is enough of a Prick to do something like this in public its usually just about impressing his mates or having a laugh. This is nonsense, of course. There is definitely an element of control and deliberate intimidation about it. It makes me so angry! It makes me even more angry that even other men, who don't engage in such behaviour, tell us that we are wrong / overreacting in our interpretation of such events. Even though we are the ones that have experienced them! ( I suppose a woman's perspective can never be reliable can it? We're clearly all hysterics. We need a male point of view on things to validate our experience!) Grrrrr

Sorry, I went on a bit of a slightly off topic rant there. But no, yanbu.

What horrible stories. I am so sorry this happened to all of you.

Someone threw a raw potato from a car at my daughter! It hit her in the head hard enough for it to break in two and she had hearing problems for 18 months afterwards. As she already has BPD, it took a fair bit of support and therapy before she was able to go outside again. I could hardly believe it- have been randomly spat on myself, but a large, hard missile is a whole different level of mindlessness.

I am so for all of you!! I dont run and i am shocked this is so common. I knew it happens because assholes like to video themselves hurling abuse or soaking runners/pedestrians and post it online but didnt realise it was just that common.

Please report it OP, and any others who are unfortunate enough to experience it. There may be no justice but make the police conscious of how big a problem it is.

My mum is a lifelong runner, goes every single day. Couple of months ago she was out really early (like half 5am or so) so it was still dark and she was on a deserted road. Car with 2 blokes in it drove past really slowly, both watching her. Got a little bit down the road, then turned around, stopped and one of the men got out and started walking towards her. She said she's never pegged it so fast in the other direction! But they had a car, and if they'd wanted to catch up with her she'd have been in pretty serious trouble.

These stories are so depressingly common. Some of this thread is truly shocking. I just don't get where some men get off on this shit. And it is always, always men. There is definitely a massive control/intimidation aspect. I just dread to think how little respect they afford their wives, girlfriends, female relatives.

I've had water thrown at me whilst out running. Abuse shouted from drivers - it's amazing how many people will take the time to slow down and share their opinions with you. I've had comments about my weight, my body, how fast I'm running, what I look like.

I stopped running 2 years ago.

We need to plan mass ambushes of these scumbags.

Large group of women armed with eggs and flour, 1 runs, the rest follow in cars/a bus inconspiciously. When an attack happens, armed women jump out, surround attackers vehicle and egg the fuck out of it.

I'm sitting here gobsmacked. So many of you who have experienced such disgusting behaviour from other adults. I'm shocked. I live rurally and never have even heard of such pathetic behaviour.

I have never had this as a runner. If I did I would carry a small notebook in bumbag and write down ref numbers and report to police

Reg numbers

I need to get back to running but at the moment I am worried that I will look a sight in my running stuff and am nervous of being laughed at of worse. I have had someone spit at me from a car before (load of young men having what for them clearly passes as a good time) but fortunately the mess didn't hit me.

It is depressing and I hope you aren't put off, OP.

That is shocking! As the rest of the experiences on here . I've only had one abusive comment shouted at me by two twats in a car but it really upset me. I'm 55, wear lycra capris and a long sleeved tee shirt, so no body on show really, but I still feel so exposed and vulnerable when I go out for some exercise. We shouldn't need to feel like this should we.

Martha I sort of did that as a fed up teenager

I would drive round with other girls and yell at lone men

VERY satisfying to watch them jump, like good, YOU be freaked out for a change, fuckers

not mature I know and not a solution but v v cathartic

😈

Hang on, you shouted at lone male runners that hadnt done anything to you?

Thats not what i was suggesting at all.

It is worth reporting these type of incidents to the police as it's an offense to be driving a car that is used to harass pedestrians/ cyclists.

I was cycling once and had something thrown at me from a car (cold, dark night and right at a blind corner). I got the number plate, reported it - the driver got a ticking off and I was told his insurance costs would increase due to having it on his record.

The best bit however was that the car was traced to the local army barracks. So the nice policeman I reported it to visited their barracks and had the guys called in to talk about the incident. Apparently their boss had some very strong opinions both about members of his unit hassling members of the public and about having his day interrupted to deal with a police visit...

I didn't run with my phone, so couldn't take a picture. I tried running with a bumbag but it didn't suit me at all. It's also difficult to try and catch someone's reg when you're struggling to see because you have water in your eyes - or because you've welled up when someone's just called you an 'fat ugly bitch' and you are trying not to cry. I didn't find running easy so if I stopped I would lose momentum and then be unable to get going again.

It was easier to just stop doing it and switch to another form of exercise. After 2 years of trying to get on with it, trying to put up with it, I stopped and switched to another form of exercise. I stopped cycling on the roads after a van driver's passenger would down his window and slapped me on the arse as I was cycling. They thought it was hilarious when the force of the slap caused me to fall off my bike.

I don't want to be on to the Police after every single outing. I just want to be left alone to get on with my life. Under different circumstances I'd agree - you fight back, you stand up, you don't let them win. But I have other things going on in my life that are causing me stress and misery; I don't need another thing to worry about at the moment. So it is easier to exercise privately.

*Martha I sort of did that as a fed up teenager

I would drive round with other girls and yell at lone men

VERY satisfying to watch them jump, like good, YOU be freaked out for a change, fuckers

not mature I know and not a solution but v v cathartic*

But that's just as twattish as all the horrible things women are describing up thread. Crappy behaviour.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Absolute wankers. This is why I don't run anymore. I've always been busty and I'm so self-concious that I can't face it. Last time I was out a van driver yelled that I was a 'fat cunt'. The wanker was so fat that his gut was touching the steering wheel. At least I was doing something about it!

Try to get number plates if possible. A lady round here was walking along with a pushchair and some van men poured a bottle of coke over her head. Some witnesses got the number plate and she reported it to police non-emergency number. They got a caution for assault or something similar, so it's definitely worth reporting.

I'm starting to wonder if women need to start wearing cameras at all times to catch all the shit they face just walking or running down the street!

I live in a small town and so there is less a feeling of 'anonymity' than would be present in larger towns/cities, that probably accounts for me not being aware of such things happening locally, although i am sure they do to an extent.

I really do agree with reporting if you can. Even if you cant get a number plate there may be CCTV in the area. Make a nuisance of yourself at the police station every time it happens, if there are people around at the time, ask them if they saw and will confirm what happened to the police. Get their details.

i would carry my phone and take a photo of them and their license plate. then make a complaint to the police. seriously this crap has to stop. just awful.

My cousin was out running along a canal a few weeks ago and a man was purposely following her trying to freak her out . She ran so fast back to her car and hasn't felt able to go running since, it's knocked her confidence somewhat and she's an avid runner. Just sticks to the gym now...

There have been times (particularly in the summer when I have no coat on) where men have shouted obscenities about ramming things in certain places and commenting on my arse/legs, when I've been walking with my young DC. One shouted "let me put it in your shitter" before bursting out laughing and driving off when I was walking them home from school. I get a few horns beeping too. It's disgraceful. I don't know what they think it achieves... Do we ever find it remotely attractive? Nope. What sort of 'man' gets a kick out of threatening a woman just going about her business. Awful.

When I run I always have earphones in on full blast so the world is blanked out entirely. But I know that's potentially dangerous not hearing someone coming up behind you or with traffic etc. Still, it gives me the confidence to do it.