to think that guests should receive a meal at a wedding

[Roversandrhodes]

Oh and I recently attended the wedding of good old friends of mine ,oh has met them a handful of times.
Wedding was at 12 and night guests arrived at 7.After the ceremony we were shown to a room for a 'mingle' whilst the wedding party had their photos.We were then taken to our assigned tables and sat down to a scone and jam.This was it ,all day.

Until about 9pm when a burger van arrived .

Aibu to think this was a little rude ?Some guests had travelled from Germany and Scotland to be there ,it was Friday so many guests inc myself and oh had taken time off work ,no kids were aloud so we (and many other guests had arranged childcare) ,we travelled an hour to get there ,brought a gift ,etc.I don't resent doing any of this ,I was happy to be invited but I just think it's a little unreasonable to expect guests to go from morning til 8pm on one scone each and a spoonful of jam.

Thoughts ?

See this is what I thought was standard for a wedding and 'good manners' on the part of the b&g .

Just horrendous not to feed people who have gone to the trouble to dress up, turn up and bring presents to your wedding.

And the tiny bit of food they do get is just about the cheapest thing you can possibly make - scones are nearly all flour with a little bit of butter, sugar and milk.

And a STALE scone at that.

Anyone budgeting for a wedding should make food their top priority. If you can't afford/be bothered to feed people, don't invite them.

What could be seen as cheeky is having such a wedding in an out of the way venue, requiring lots of travel/lodging from guests, tacky requests for money, dress codes, etc.

Declined one like that at a time when I didn't have 2 pennies to rub together. Bride was a snob who wore Deeziner clothes. Usually something upmarket like Klass

It's crazy, we just wanted everyone to have a good time. I don't understand people that treat it like they're in Hello Magazine but really aren't present

Give me warm sausage rolls and curled up chicken paste sandwiches over a "sweetie buffet" any day. All washed down with Barr shandy, of course.

Memories of childhood family weddings.

Absolutely ridiculous not to be fed properly. How unthoughful and selfish, bet they had food somwhere themselves. Our family weddings are all about food and making sure guests have been taken care of properly. Tea/coffee or cold drinks with canapés are always served before the main meal.

All the expense of dress, venue, flowers etc and not being able to feed your guests? It can b done on the cheap, a few trays of sanwiches at least. Weddings are so expensive for guests, outfits, presents, time off work, accommodation, babysitting etc. Really how can u accept gifts and money off people and not give them a decent feed, didn't need to b fancy.

I still can't get over the cheek of it,I know it's not all about the food, maybe a warning would have been nice! I can just picture a dried up Tesco Value scone being served up!! People probably thought it was a snack and the meal was to follow. I would have been eating my arm off. Don't think I could have lasted that long, my look sugars would have dropped and made me act all sullen and bitchy.

I have seen ice cream vans, candy buffets, slush machines and candy floss at wedding which are fun but they were always before the meal and not a replacement and were fun to have.

I went to a wedding with no good once. Ceremony at noon.
Family lunch
Rest (bride was not well, she needed to rest, fair enough)
Guests mingle round Hampshire, despite no one bring at all local.
Evening do at 7 ish
8 ish food arrived for diabetic mother of bride
8.30 ish guests realised that no food coming for them
At 9pm all the guests decamped into the nearest Chinese take away. The after party was great.
B&g remain curious to this day, as to where their wedding went.

Do you think we ought to pop over to some wedding forums to veto some of their shit plans?!

To my mind, a wedding is about a legal document signing, and then a big party to celebrate with friends and family. How the celebration happens is variable depending on peoples cultures, but to my mind, food is universal. No food, no party. Unless, its a lots of alcohol party, but food trumps alcohol.
If you cant afford to feed a meal, then dont invite people from abroad, or ask people to take a day off work to witness you signing a document.

Ironically if they'd got married a couple of hours later the manky scone offering would have been fine - it would have been an "afternoon tea" prior to the burger van.

Should have just got married after "lunch" time as post people would have then eaten brunch or light lunch...

Rude and unacceptable, a basic buffet is really not expensive per head.

Pmsl at two hours of speeches accompanied by Powerpoint!!

I do wonder how people can forget to feed guests that they have invited somewhere. After all it's at the bottom of our basic needs, pretty much along with making sure there are working toilets at the venue.

As random says even the scone and burger van would have been just about ok if afternoon scones and burger van there at 7pm and paid for by B&G rather than the poor old guests.

Am now worried as going to family wedding in California in September sans DH and DS . It's wine region so I'll just make sure that I drink a lot so that I don't notice if no food forthcoming.

We got married at 3pm. At a church with a fantastic pub right next to it that does great food. My dh and all his mates met up there before the ceremony and had a hearty lunch ( they bought themselves). My friends meet up at my house where we created our own lunch buffet and drank fizz while we got ready together.
We had a full sit down 3 course dinner at 5:30 - there were kids there at that is their dinner time. Then a bbq with a chocolate fountain at 9:pm for the evening guests - all evening guests were local friends or relatives (half cousins etc) and anyone who had to travel stayed all day.

People still tell me what a fab wedding it was and how great the food was.

I planned it like this after going to a couple of weddings where no one for fed for hours. At one the best man did actually order in a load of pizzas. The mother of the bride had a face like a cats bum but most of the grooms guests were military and 3 canapés and a glass of fizz in 6 hours wasn't cutting the mustard.

We had a sweet buffet and everyone seemed to like it (there was nothing left)! But it was an extra, not the main food offering. We got married at 5 then straight after the ceremony canapés were served. Around 6.30 we cut the cake and that was served. Then at about 7.30 the buffet was served. We did say on the invitations that it was a buffet not a sit down meal so people knew what to expect and could have a big lunch if they wanted!

My friends sister got married last year. We arrived at 6pm for the evening reception and everyone was shitfaced already because they'd not eaten anything. They got married at 12 so nobody had eaten lunch before the ceremony, then afterwards had been served a couple of platters of sandwiches and milled around drinking for hours.

When they eventually served hot pork and stuffing batches they were throwing food at one another and an Auntie had exposed her rear end on the dancefloor. There was an incident where the grooms 14 yr old son had been sneaking drinks and was carried to someone's car and a fight broke out between the families. We left after 2 hours.

I love them all dearly but on the whole it was a pretty catastrophic day.

We overfed everyone at our wedding. I wanted to make sure our guests had lots of food choices, plenty to drink and a bloody fun time. I think we managed that.

Best wedding I ever went to (not ours!) was a 3 pm ish, followed by group photos first, then proper afternoon tea in the church hall next door while b&g had more family/individual photos done.Tables set out with large selection of sandwhiches and cake stands. Church volunteers/WI serving teas and coffees. It hit the spot perfectly laye on a summer afternoon. B&g had their own tea whilst doing photos, then came into hall for speeches. Hot buffet was served later in the evening during the dancing. It was a perfect wedding.

I can't believe how many people seem to treat food like an afterthought at weddings, judging by this thread. I'd expect the catering to be one of the biggest expenses. For DDs wedding this summer we are having drinks and canapés straight after church with a bit of mingling and a steel band. Then a 3 course wedding breakfast served feast style to the tables rather than plated, 10 mins max per speech, coffee and petit fours then dancing to a band and a DJ and amazing tacos and wedding cake served later. The food and booze has been a major part of the planning, you can't invite people to a wedding and not offer decent hospitality.

rookiemere - you won't have to worry about food at an American wedding. Whenever I've been to weddings of my relatives across the pond the food has been amazing.

My favourite wedding was one that had loads of food stations set around a field. Mmm, crepes.

OMG momofbride if you get any last minute cancellations please can I come? drools

Ah ABC I've been to a powerpoint speech wedding too, it was the oddest thing ever:
Pic of daughter as baby FOB complimented his daughter and son in law… and THEN! Pic of FOG with some other men on a golf course: "and we're all very lucky today to have insert business associates names here today, I'ld like to extend my thanks to them all for coming today as well as our gratitude for the business partnership we have had over the years…." and it went on.. and on like that!
We were all sitting there with our mouths open in shock!

I've been to ones with PowerPoint speeches that were good but they tend to be from the best man and a slide show of the groom in compromising positions or with a dated hair cut etc

As an aside, I do not get why people need to spend hours having photos done. How many shots of the B&G peeking at each other winsomely from either side of a tree or groups of ill-matched relatives scowling at the camera do a couple need? DH and I were very firm with our photographer that we needed to get back to the reception pronto, before our friends drank all the fizz . We love our wedding pics but all the best ones are informal shots of people enjoying themselves.

This was also a PowerPoint speech wedding!! Post scone obvs

shiny the photo thing goes hand in hand with the (no) food thing!

The hungry weddings I've been to had HOURS of photos. :bride with the work girls, bride with the work boys, bride with the work boys and girls, groom with the stags, groom with all school friends….. etc etc Everyone standing round and getting yelled at for missing a group combo they were supposed to be in cause they went to ask if the bar sells crisps, they don't! and food doesn't happen till everyone is too afternoon-hungover to taste it!

Good weddings (where we've been well fed and looked after): bride and groom go off for a few 1:1 pics, then a groups shot or two then the hosts mingle and there's food!

Last wedding i was at they sent out a link to photographic studio for guest to puruse and choose the ones they wanted200 photos i was loosing the will to live soo many sepia holding hands nonsense did explain the 3 hour wait before dinner though