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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

close to death giving birth...

330 replies

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 09:58

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

OP posts:
minifingerz · 05/05/2016 18:11

I'm going to say 2 words to you OP.

"Black pudding"

Get eating. Wash it down with orange juice. Snack on prunes.

You need to see if you can get that figure up.

shazzarooney999 · 05/05/2016 18:13

Maybe hes just really worried about you.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 18:14

awww black pudding yuk... but im going to google to see what you mean

OP posts:
Brionius · 05/05/2016 18:20

The area I live in we say up to 45 min for an ambulance. (I'm a homebirth midwife!) the reason is a. Distance and b. Really crap ambulance service and c. Potentially rush hour and crap roads! It's very rural here! And I have sat and waited for an ambulance on several occasions unfortunately. As others have said we have to give you a worst case scenario.
If you're happy with the risks of homebirth for your situation and want to go ahead that's awesome- but he should be too or he won't be helpful in labour!

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 18:21

black pudding. says iron 36 % not sure if i could eat it though. What does it taste like

OP posts:
Brionius · 05/05/2016 18:23

Also: sorry we are currently looking into carrying misoprostal for homebirth emergencies. Other trusts already do.

CountessOfStrathearn · 05/05/2016 19:05

Hb of 8.7 and (presumably) ferritin of 4.2, especially in a grand multip really, really, really isn't low risk.

I'm not against home births and I've said already that I've had one before (and should have said that this was only because I lived a mile from the hospital by a straight road - no way I'd be having a one if I lived further away or at a separate MW led unit) but I'd be very, very surprised if a midwife really thought that you were low risk.

Looking at the NICE guidelines, Hb of 8.5 is listed amongst "Other factors indicating increased risk suggesting planned birth at an obstetric unit".

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg190/chapter/1-recommendations

Just5minswithDacre · 05/05/2016 19:12

I bet OP preferred her OH's 'close to death' remarks to some of the more lurid posts on this thread Shock

Good luck for the consultant appt ghost. Have you prepared a list of questions?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 19:18

just5 no i dont have a list. i dont really have anything to ask. oh part from i want more understanding in general. i dont really understand what the vit b12 is for or means. my doc said its probably not linked with pregnancy and going to look into t after i have baby. midwifes said there are 3 iron divishonsys. (sorry even google dont know what im trying to spell. hopefully you know what i mean) and i have 2 of them.

and thanks yes thats tomorrow. and hopefully my iron levela have gone up. fingers crossed

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 05/05/2016 19:24

Deficiencies?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 19:25

yes just5 Grin thank you

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 05/05/2016 19:26

Yeah, I'd want the consultant's take on the blood levels and the risk in general I think.

Good luck Smile

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 19:27

thank you :)

OP posts:
Furiosa · 05/05/2016 19:40

Just5minswithDacre lurid?! Thats really quite an unkind thing to say about someones experience of birth!

Which posts do you think are "lurid'?

Just5minswithDacre · 05/05/2016 19:46

Maybe the one that mirrored my own birth emergency was most vivid to me Furiosa. I'm not completely sure; I crossed my legs and started skimming.

I'm not a big believer in telling heavily pregnant women obstetric horror stories generally and in any event it became clear fairly on that it wasn't a tactic that was going to be effective in getting ghost to reconsider (which seemed to be the aim).

I do hope she gets clarity on the issue of her risk level though; that aspect seems a bit of a tangle.

Miloarmadillo1 · 05/05/2016 19:57

Good luck tomorrow. I hope your blood levels have improved. Please listen to the consultant even if he/she is telling you something you don't really want to hear. Best wishes for the birth.

Northernlurker · 05/05/2016 20:03

I think the op has had a lot of sensible, informed advice. A home birth with a sixth baby and a significant anaemia is a really stupid thing to do imo.

Furiosa · 05/05/2016 20:04

Just5minswithDacre I wrote my posts in good faith. Neither of my deliveries were without complication despite them being low risk. They were relatively "normal" experiences though and not "horror stories"

Ghostspirit I apologise if anything I've written has upset you. I spent three days in hospital with DS and over a week with DD. It wasn't fun so I understand why you want to stay at home. However an MLU would give you the option of being close to care and if everything goes fine they'll kick you out in a couple of hours!

My MLU had birthing pools, a family sleeping room for the first night and was just down stairs from the consultant led wing. I was lucky.

Best wishes Smile

PortiaCastis · 05/05/2016 20:08

Good luck ghosty I hope everything goes well for you and you'll soon have a lovely new baby. See what the consultant says and do what he/ she says. Have a chat to bf when you've seen the Dr and work out your plan

Just5minswithDacre · 05/05/2016 20:11

Of course Furiosa. It was just, coming to the thread fresh and catching up in one big read, as I did, I thought maybe collectively it was all starting to go a bit far, technicolour-detail-wise.

OP's had lots of food for thought on this thread too.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 20:18

yep infusion tomorrow as well. they could not find a vein last week took 4 times to find one. and i said remember its the right arm that seems to work. she said it might not do next time thanks for that. sod know what will happen if they cant find a vein :/ at docs every other day. tomorrow hospital at 10 for infusion then 1 for consultant... going to die of boredom. and my poor 1 year old he wont be impressed :( got to be done though and i should have some answers of how things are going

OP posts:
Furiosa · 05/05/2016 20:20

Just5minswithDacre

technicolour-detail-wise it's in 3D too, with surround sound Grin

Booboostwo · 05/05/2016 20:22

It is your right to make an informed choice about how you want to give birth, I fully support you in that. However, from your posts it seems that you are not completely clear about the conditions that are affecting your pregnancy, how they are being managed and the risks they may pose on different birthing options. If I were you I'd go see the consultant with an open mind, and try to understand exactly what is happening and what the risks are.

DMjournosrscum · 05/05/2016 20:24

Everyone has a right to choose where to give birth. But it needs to be an informed choice (esp if you are a parent responsible for so many children). I chose a hospital birth as I knew someone who died whist having her baby. I went from chatting happily to been run into theatre in 5 min to save me and my baby. So hospital every time for me. Having a baby does carry inherent risks whatever you do it's about thinking what risks you are happy with in your circumstances

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 20:25

Everyone has a right to choose where to give birth

No, they don't. Patently ridiculous to suggest they do.