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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

close to death giving birth...

330 replies

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 09:58

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

OP posts:
bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 17:10

don't believe the midwives

own your decision

if you want to make the decision that you're giving birth at home despite being high risk - you are entitled to do that. but don't allow someone who is clearly ill-informed to influence you by telling you that you are low risk

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:14

what have the midwifes got to gain by saying im low risk if im not

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 05/05/2016 17:15

OP, you've had a lot of professional people on here saying that home birth is, in your case risky and advising you to reconsider. When people talk about risk it's very easy to just think, "Oh that will never happen to me. I've always been fine in the past." But the thing is, that means very little, and the risk is real. Babies are permanently brain damaged, women do suffer massive blood loss and die or end up extremely unwell and much more.

There has been a lot of debate on this thread about the pros and cons of HB but largely centred around low risk women. I love a good home birth and several family members have had them. But you are not low risk. I believe you must be mistaken that the head of midwifery told you so. You say you are seeing the consultant tomorrow. S/he will tell you the risks again and advise against it. They will also document that conversation carefully in order to cover themselves against litigation should something go wrong.

Please do listen to that doctor. Nobody wants to see you come back here with a terrible story about your labour and hospital delivery really can be lovely. Incidentally, do you mind telling us what your haemoglobin level actually is? Iron transfusions are pretty unusual.

MatildaTheCat · 05/05/2016 17:18

4.2 Shock. Holy fuck. I'm glad I'm not on call for you. Will now back out since you aren't listening to anyone. Just do at least listen to the consultant tomorrow.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:20

whats a haemoglobin level... would it be in my pregnancy book i will try and look

OP posts:
bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 17:21

what have the midwifes got to gain by saying im low risk if im not

some (not all, but a significant minority) midwives take it as a personal failure whenever a doctor gets involved. I have seen this attitude lead to tragedy. don't let it do so in your case.

if your Hb really was 4.2 and you go ahead with a home delivery then please make a will first

TealSeal · 05/05/2016 17:22

If you are low risk OP why would they be taking extra measures with the iron therapy and misoprostol on standby? That is not routine practice.

I can only imagine you've misunderstood. That they may have said all other aspects of your history would deem you as high risk HOWEVER increased risk of a PPH is a major consideration.

You will be supported whatever your decision but in order to make this decision you need to fully understand the risk associated to your personal circumstances and to believe that you are low-risk is simply not accurate.

Have you got a documented management plan in your notes? I'd be buggered if yours says 'low risk midwifery led care'...

TealSeal · 05/05/2016 17:26

You may not have a history of PPH OP but each time your uterus stretches to accommodate a baby the risk of it not contracting back down quickly post birth increases hence the risk of bleeding with further pregnancies.

CoolforKittyCats · 05/05/2016 17:27

ghost listen to what people are saying.

Have you also sorted out care for the other DC?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:29

im not mistaken they used the words low risk

OP posts:
bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 17:31

they used the words low risk

you may not be mistaken as to what they said
they are almost certainly mistaken to describe an anaemic grand multip as low risk.

(usual caveats that I'm not giving you individual medical advice but I cannot think of any situation where a grand multip who is significantly anaemic would be described as low risk by anyone informed, unless that person has an "anti-interventionist" agenda)

witsender · 05/05/2016 17:32

As a 6th time mother, surely that automatically puts you at high risk even without anaemia etc?

ENormaSnob · 05/05/2016 17:34

You are totally NOT low risk.

Grand multip, anaemia and precipitate deliveries? All increase the risk of a pph.

I would be livid if called out to you tbh.

alltouchedout · 05/05/2016 17:35

I am very, very strongly in favour of women making their own birth choices and very pro home birth (had two myself) and even I am reading your updates and wincing. I still believe it is absolutely your choice, but you are running a risk I couldn't handle. Are you really that anaemic? How are you still upright?! I was anaemic in my last pregnancy but to a much lesser degree (my numbers were never as low as yours and iron tablets and a good diet and spatone had brought them up to normal by term anyway) and I felt like death on a fucking stick. If I'd still been even as anemic as I was, let alone as anaemic as you are, at term, I would not have gone through with home birth. I'd have been sad about it and would have hated it but I'd have chosen the birth unit or even the bloody hospital. Home birth is not inherently dangerous but in your shoes I'd not believe the risks were worth it.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:37

im probably not that anemic now... i have been having infusions and jabs. i will know more tomorrow

OP posts:
whatevva · 05/05/2016 17:39

4.2 can't be right. I was struggling at 8.5 (after the PPH)

TealLove · 05/05/2016 17:41

Are you sure it's 4.2?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:44

evva maybe i got it wrong. because it seems odd to me. when i was anemic with my now 5 year old i kept falling to sleep. i would do things like walk up the stairs fall sleep at the top of them. i was sleeping loads.. and apprently that was because of being anemic. this time round i have not been like that at all. i did struggle whilst at work. but since leaving i have been fine. but i have still been keeping really busy. and i dont really feel overly tired. so maybe i do have that figure wrong.

OP posts:
minifingerz · 05/05/2016 17:44

I suppose the increased risk of you being unable to tolerate a bleed because of your anaemia will have to be balanced against the possibility that being in hospital is possibly more likely to result in a bleed in the first place.

I really don't get why everyone here is falling over themselves to convince you that it's dangerous for you to have a homebirth WHEN THEY HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING OR QUANTIFYING THE RISKS.

If I was in your shoes is be booking an appointment with the supervisor of midwives to really unpick your specific issues.

minifingerz · 05/05/2016 17:47

And I very much doubt you've got that figure right.

Are you sure they weren't referring to your ferritin or something? (Though that would be very low for ferritin too, but you'd be more able to function)

bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 17:47

"If I was in your shoes is be booking an appointment with the supervisor of midwives consultant to really unpick your specific issues."

which the OP has done

minifingerz · 05/05/2016 17:54

Incidentally a friend of mine had her 8th baby at home last year. Two previous c/s. The community team talked her through the risks (she also has babies over 10lbs and has a BMI at the higher end of the scale) but supported her choice once she had made up her mind to go ahead.

minifingerz · 05/05/2016 18:03

Blue carpet the the BirthPlace study looked at birth outcomes for women who were low risk at the start of labour according to chosen (rather than eventual) place of birth.

C/S rates for mothers who opted for an OU were x 5 that of similar low risk multips who opted for out of hospital births. No impact on outcomes for babies.

And it's wrong for you to say that the evidence isn't there when you clearly haven't even read the BirthPlace study (if you'd had you'd have known that it compares outcomes for matched groups of low risk women)

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 18:06

Found this in my pregnancy book

close to death giving birth...
OP posts:
minifingerz · 05/05/2016 18:08

"If I was in your shoes is be booking an appointment with the supervisor of midwives consultant to really unpick your specific issues."

If she's seen a senior midwife and been 'OK'd' then why the problem? An experienced midwife would have cared for mothers across the risk spectrum in all settings so why would her take on the OP's situation be of no value?

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