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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

close to death giving birth...

330 replies

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 09:58

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

OP posts:
LittleHouseOnTheShelf · 05/05/2016 15:46

Tell him that, when you are giving birth, he will be very close to death if he keeps on being such a dick!

UmbongoUnchained · 05/05/2016 15:47

Really? A big building full of doctors and life saving equipment verses your living room floor? What more evidence do you need.

splendide · 05/05/2016 15:49

The evidence of the research which shows that there is no difference in mortality for home births. Presumably because the very rare times that you need a hospital to save a baby's life is balanced by the also very rare times that a hospital has caused the problem.

Furiosa · 05/05/2016 15:52

splendide hospital was a lifesaver for me 1st time and DD 2nd time. Neither of the complications that put us at risk where known during either pregnancy.

whatevva · 05/05/2016 15:52

I would have thought having plans and preparations in place for a home birth and then transferring to hospital in an ambulance would be way better than trying to get into hospital to give birth in a hurry. You risk delivering the baby by yourself whilst your stressed out scared OH is trying to drive you there (supposing it has happened at a time of day where you did not have to call him home from work.........) with no equipment and only the first aid book as back up.

In my experience, the change from fairly painless contractions to delivering can be only a few minutes, so no time to change plan and call the ambulance.

The advantages of giving birth in hospital are academic and worthless if you can't get there. If you have bleeding at home with the midwife and the equipped ambulance on the way, you are in a better position than in the car.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 15:55

little that made me laugh. not sure what i will be like when giving birth. im normally quite mellow. so anything stupid he says might just woosh over me.

but then on the other hand with home birth you have 2 midwifes one to one and they keep a very close eye on things. but at hospital you just get left. and the communication is crap. well at least at my hospital it is.

OP posts:
bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 15:55

I have read them and I don't think they are sufficiently powered to pick up rare but catastrophic consequences of home birth.

mmmminx · 05/05/2016 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 05/05/2016 15:59

i have been told to call 999. as they will be faster than midwifes as they have their blue lights and can be with you fast... so then how comes if the baby is coming they will be here like asap. but if its a transfer it takes 30 mins. the hospital in 10 mins by car.

The ambulance won't always come fast at all even if it's for a baby coming.

I'm a midwife and the other week I had to ring an ambulance as a woman rang up the labour ward saying she was pushing and the baby was coming. Ambulance control said they had no available ambulances in the county and the nearest one was about 40 mins away. I spent that time on the phone talking to the husband getting ready to talk him through a delivery. Thankfully she wasn't as quick as what she sounded she was going to be.

Ive read the Homebirth study (a while ago now) and think i remember it ok. I totally get what they're saying that home births are safer. But the reason it came to thag conclusion is because with a homebirth you are less likely to have interventions which you may end up having in hospital even if you start off low risk. And those interventions can become a cascade, continuous monitoring, drips to speed labour up, instrumental deluvery, FBS, em lscs. And all those things can increase your risk of various events, shoulder dystocia, pph, poorer neonatal outcome.

But what the study didn't take into account is that if a low risk woman at home has an unexpected and massive heamorhage she is more at risk than a low risk woman who has an unexpected heamorhage in hospital. Or a woman who has a cord prolapse, or an abruption, or a shoulder dystocia. Homebirth women may well have less chance of these events occurring but the consequences have the potential to be more serious.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 16:00

evva that makes alot of sense. as i said im having home birth anyway. but either way i would refuse to get in partners car.

OP posts:
whatevva · 05/05/2016 16:00

Really? A big building full of doctors and life saving equipment verses your living room floor?

I got into hospital 2 hours before giving birth, with a 'high risk' pregnancy and they were all in bed Hmm Not a guarantee of anything.

splendide · 05/05/2016 16:14

The thing about these threads are they end up full of people saying that they or their babies would have died if they'd been at home. It's a sincerely held belief but, with respect, lots of them are just wrong. It's so so rare for a woman or her baby to die during a homebirth that it's a statistical impossibility to find so many near misses on one thread.

I think people underestimate what can be done for you and a baby at home - a midwife can administer an oxytocic drug at home for example if there is a PPH. They wouldn't just call an ambulance and let you bleed out.

Xmasbaby11 · 05/05/2016 16:18

I certainly wouldn't have a home birth in your situation. But I can understand you feel comfortable given your experience.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 16:18

spendide yes i forget what its call but i have 5 tablets. that are inserted... (if) needed to stop/slow to much bleeding. i have them on stand by just incase

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 05/05/2016 16:26

Misoprostal. Which is not normal for a midwife to take to a home birth so they must consider yOu high risk. But good practice of the hospital to get your community midwives to have it on standby

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 16:29

simon yes just checked thats the one.

OP posts:
TealSeal · 05/05/2016 16:33

A consultant led unit in a hospital isn't the holy grail of birth choices that many on here seem to view it to be. Yes it is the best place in an obstetric emergency but the vast majority of births, particularly low risk women, never need to access those facilities. And by generalising birth and believing that an obstetric unit is the 'safest' place to be for everyone you are jeopardising the innate ability that most women have to deliver their babies in a safe and physiological way.

The evidence shows that consultant led care for low risk women increases the rates of intervention and complication, it's a downward spiral. But it's ok because there's loads of brilliant gizmos and facilities to sort mum and baby out in the end and as long as no one dies it's a good result.

There's no one size fits all. Hospitals are right for some women but equally so are home births and midwifery led care.

bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 16:33

It's very rare for a woman or her baby to die
not that rare for the baby to be brain damaged

splendide have you ever been involved in the management of a PPH as a health professional? It's f*ing scary.

TealLove · 05/05/2016 16:41

Sorry But 5 mins is far too late when you are haemorrhaging

Massive Trigger warning --

You literally bleed like a hosepipe coming out. Mine was v v extensive and DH said the midwife was rooted to the spot hit the panic button and almost ran out.

splendide · 05/05/2016 16:52

It's not that rare for a baby to be brain damaged? What do you count as not rare?

And no I haven't been involved with a PPH.

HighwayDragon1 · 05/05/2016 16:53

Would you consider a birthing centre?

Miloarmadillo1 · 05/05/2016 16:53

It's not an informed choice to give birth at home if you are totally disregarding the increased risks of being grand multiparous (4+ babies) being anaemic ( and not even knowing how anaemic FFS) and having quick deliveries.
I would be really worried that they are basically preparing for you to have a PPH on your living room floor. I was given syntocin injection and misoprostol - it had no effect whatsoever might as well shove it up your arse..oh, wait, they did

Furiosa · 05/05/2016 16:56

spendide what is the HB protocol for haemorrhaging with a retained placenta?

I was in surgery within minutes.

Could a MW really have stopped the bleeding in time for me to get to the hospital? (In my case it's 30 mins by car, faster blue lighted of course).

bluecarpet · 05/05/2016 16:58

What do you count as not rare?

more common for a baby to be brain damaged than for the mother or baby to die - I was talking relative risk

1 in 400 births produces a baby with cerebral palsy - some of those happen antenatally rather than at birth, but 0.25% is not that rare given the life-altering consequences of it.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 17:03

no i will not do a birth centre. maybe i am selfish but there is no way im going near hospital unless its a last choice. midwifes have told me im low risk. they have the tablets on standby just incase.. probably the same at all the other bits and bobs they have got in the home birth pack. they are going by (my) history

i think my iron levels were 4.2 last i knew. but i have not had the iron infusion or vit b12 jabs. at that point. i might not 100% know wht my iron levels are but the midwifes do. i have another infusion and need to see consultant tomorrow. so i will find out more then. i have no evidence of loosing to much blood in the past even when i have been enemic

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