Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my child's money?

206 replies

henparty · 05/05/2016 09:56

Just looking for opinions on this. We are about to move house, buying a much nicer house in a better area. We can afford the repayments but are maxing ourselves with the move (trying to put as much deposit in as we can to get a better interest rate plus stamp duty, legal fees etc). We are using up every penny of savings but a year from now should be fine. When looking at the very stretched figures yesterday DH suggested we use our DDs savings. She was gifted £5000 by her grandmother before she died but the money is in an account in my name. DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway. AIBU to worry that it is wrong to borrow from your child?

OP posts:
Maryz · 05/05/2016 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndiannaJones · 05/05/2016 17:35

No I wouldn't, It's not your money
to spend even if you do intend to pay it back it wasn't left to you.

PoppyFleur · 05/05/2016 17:47

I would do it, pay it back and not think anything more of it. It sounds as if you have carefully consider affording the house and it's just a minor cash flow issue at this moment in time.

The move will benefit the whole family and the money will be repaid within a year. Do it.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/05/2016 19:59

Financial abuse, imo
Would you do also this with money belonging to an LD adult in the family ? They couldn't give informed permission either

Bexinthecity · 05/05/2016 20:01

As long as you can pay it back then do it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/05/2016 20:02

Financial abuse Grin

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs · 05/05/2016 20:08

as long as you pay it back.
otherwise it is stealing.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 05/05/2016 20:18

This is silly. The house is for the child's benefit. The money isn't being lent for the parents to go on a spa weekend. I think it's fine as long as it's being repaid. I don't even think interest is necessary apart from posisbly the nominal itnerest it would generate in a bank account - 2%.

Maryz · 05/05/2016 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/05/2016 20:25

If it is just sitting in a basic account, when you pay it back why not look at other saving options?
There are accounts for children that can't be accessed until they're 16 or 18 yrs and they pay better interest and don't tax the savings.

This would also prevent you being tempted to borrow it again.

BeckyMcDonald · 05/05/2016 20:26

Financial abuse?! What a load of twaddle.

They're using it to benefit the child and will pay it back. The child is currently too young to benefit from it. I'd borrow it in a heartbeat.

They are the child's parents and it's their job to decide what's best for their child. Living in a nicer house, presumably in a nicer area with better schools, is of much more benefit to the child than having 5k sitting in a bank account. I'm sure grandma would be delighted. I would.

sooperdooper · 05/05/2016 20:26

Financial abuse?? Grin I have a large grip here to hand you ;)

Borrow it, pay it back, end of story, no Jezza Kyke drama to be found here

Maryz · 05/05/2016 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Biffsboys · 05/05/2016 20:29

I definitely would yes , money is being repaid and dd gets to grow up in a lovely home . I think when op said she will inherit house they meant it would be worth her loaning the money- not that she would need to wait until then to be repaid?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 05/05/2016 20:30

In your situation I would probably not do it, but be glad to know it was there in case of any unforseen expenses. I don't see anything wrong with you doing it, at all, I'd just rather have it there as back up than already spent.

Good luck - hope it all goes smoothly 🏡💐

MammaTJ · 05/05/2016 20:30

Yes, borrow it. Pay it back quick, plus a little extra when you can to cover lost interest and all's good!

katsopolis · 05/05/2016 20:31

I wouldn't if it's choice and not need which is what it is in this case.

And sorry to point out the obvious (and morbid) but your child could die before you- so no, she might not "get the house anyway" one day.

DeeJaneH · 05/05/2016 20:32

I agree with Araiba, as much as you think and hope and have every intention of paying it back. I strongly believe you shouldn't. If you can't manage with what you've already got, you're going to struggle. Something will always crop up. It's a child's inheritance, given by somebody else. It isn't yours.

This would be different, if you as parents opened an account for your children to save, it would be yours ( and could possibly help you in a financial crisis) This isn't.

SilverBirchWithout · 05/05/2016 20:32

The problem is it is not legally yours.

I assume it is in a higher interest account which does not pay income tax at source? By taking the money and using it in this way to cover family expenses, the Inland Revenue could correctly argue that the account is not for the child's benefit and the interest should therefore be taxed.

You are unlikely to be caught, but it is still fraud.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/05/2016 20:34

Then in your scenario the £5000 is totally irrelevant anyway katso The op may as well spend it now.

katsopolis · 05/05/2016 20:36

Not at all- let's say OP spends it in 3 years time to send her DD to private school. Theres a large different between that and her living for another say 50 years (lets say OP and her DP are in their mid 30s)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/05/2016 20:37

Just do it, OP. You are her parents. If you don't have your daughter's interests at heart then who does? Ignore the naysayers. Who knows what granny would have thought but I can imagine that she would have put her own children first before a grandchild. I certainly would

Some people will never find themselves in this position and don't like to think of other people finding ways around a problem. Your daughter is benefiting from the move anyway, nicer house, better area - that's without the money that will be paid back.

Bogeyface · 05/05/2016 20:40

Silver as the money is in the OPs account and she is a tax payer I very much doubt that this is a problem. It sounds like the grandmother gave them the money on the understanding that it was for the DD, but has never been in the DDs name so there is no concern about tax avoidance etc.

Personally I see no problem with this. The move is for the benefit of the whole family and the OP is certain that they can and will pay it back. The only thing I would suggest is that they open an account for the DD to pay it back into to ensure that it gets the best rate of interest as I am guessing that it isnt at the moment.

IndiannaJones · 05/05/2016 20:41

Maryz It's nice your children are good people and that they would lend you the money if you asked... Of course however it would be wrong of you to ask and put them in that position of emotional guilt where they would out of love give it to you.
In this case however no one can ask the gran or child for permission, it's clearly wrong to do it in either instances.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/05/2016 20:42

katso why are you allowing the op to spend the DDs £5000 on private school fees but not on her family home?