To use my child's money?

[henparty]

Just looking for opinions on this. We are about to move house, buying a much nicer house in a better area. We can afford the repayments but are maxing ourselves with the move (trying to put as much deposit in as we can to get a better interest rate plus stamp duty, legal fees etc). We are using up every penny of savings but a year from now should be fine. When looking at the very stretched figures yesterday DH suggested we use our DDs savings. She was gifted £5000 by her grandmother before she died but the money is in an account in my name. DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway. AIBU to worry that it is wrong to borrow from your child?

[foursillybeans]

I would definitely use it if you know you can put it back. It is doing no one any good in a bank account somewhere. You have years to put it back but I would make a direct debit back in to the account so that you ensured it was back to her in an organised way. You also need to think about interest.

[Oysterbabe]

I assume that everyone saying that its akin to stealing are the ones who post on threads about charging your working kids rent saying its wrong to "make money" out of your children.....
These two scenarios are not alike or related in any way.

[Shakey15000]

Ooh I can see both sides.

I think it's stretch to call it "stealing" when clearly the intention is to borrow and repay. However, I think I'd be more inclined to think it was ok if it was for something really needed as opposed to a "would like to" if that makes sense?

[Lisasmum3]

Did not read the full thread but how about calculating how much getting a better rate on mortgage will save you every month and add that to your dd's savings on top of paying her back the 5000£ with interest?

[IndiannaJones]

Whatever helps ppl feel better about taking what isn't theirs, however you dress it up its not their money.

Op has said they are maxing themselves out to buy this house. Say they lose their jobs can't afford the mortgage, lose the house and can't pay back the money taken.

I reckon their child might feel more than a little let down that they took their money without any consent.

[Tiopyn]

Maryz - for me it would depend on the certainty. If my parents told me they had borrowed 5k to help get a nicer family home and paid it all back, I'd have no issues. If they told me - "your gran left you 5k so we put it into a family home, we didn't put the money back but you should inherit the house in 50 years so it's a good investment" I'd be miffed to say the least.

I do think calling it stealing is harsh, but I'd feel a bit iffy going against the GMs wishes.

It really depends how certain you are you can pay it back. The house as an investment is irrelevant as all sorts of things can happen in the future which may mean the house is no longer there.
But if DD gets a nicer home, slightly more financial security and the 5k is still there when she turns 18, she'll have done really well out of it.

I do worry that your DHs comment may be setting up to fail at paying back before you evenue start.

[thatsn0tmyname]

Our children are 4 and 2 and we've just put £5000 of their money into the mortgage. They won't need it until they're 18 and hopefully by then we'll be mortgage free and able to pay them back in spades.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

All these comments about over-stretching, you clearly can't afford the house, etc, are just bollocks, in my (rather rude!) opinion.

Buying a house is something that you do only a very few times in your life. With all the costs, taxes, etc, it is incredibly expensive. It's the most expensive thing you will ever do. In that case, borrowing £5,000 is NOTHING. It's not like routinely whacking trivial expenses on a credit card because you can't budget your money; it's a very rare, very expensive and very valuable exercise. So, back off! :)

OP, if it's any comfort, my DC are forever offering me the contents of their piggy banks if I ever mention being short of cash. Kids love to be helpful.

Pay her back with a healthy rate of interest over a year or two. And of course it's fine. She needn't even ever know.

[Iflyaway]

Exactly Punt - they will save the 5,000 and more over the next 15 years.

There is actually NO WAY you know this....

If you could bottle what could happen in 15-odd years, never mind two, well you must be a genius... or get out your crystal ball

Just because --some stupid- people tell you the future, doesn't mean it will happen...

Didn't we all believe the bullshit pre 2008 when the banks collapsed?!

[Gabilan]

To repay £5k in 12 months you need to pay over 400 pcm. Be honest witth yourself. How and when will you pay it back?

I don't like the idea but that's because my parents forged my signature to get access to an investment in my name. I know they were desperate but I don't like what they did.

[FrameyMcFrame]

I think it's the fact that it was left to her by her grandma.

If you'd saved it for her then ok. But you're not in the equation. It's a private thing between the Grandma and the child.

[Iflyaway]

oh, and let's not think what will happen with the Brexit either

Before two months is over nobody knows what the future will bring yet some know what will happen in 15 years time

LOL

[LittleHouseOnTheShelf]

No. Keep it for your child, you never know when you might need it for something like medical bills etc.

[Ragwort]

This is totally true - I was left shares of approx £12k (in Trust) when I was a baby (nearly 60 years ago ) - at the time my mother asked if she could use the money, which would have bought a small house in London; she asked the solicitor at the time if she could do this (she was a widow) and put the house in my name but was told 'no'. That house would be worth a fortune by now.

The shares have been great - I have had more than £12k value from them - but nothing like what buying a London property would have been - I still have some of the shares - about £3k left.

[Primaryteach87]

This is fine OP. She will benefit from the move and I'm sure your grandmother wouldn't want you to starve when the money is there doing nothing (it's not like interest rates are much to write home about these days!). So long as you pay it back by the time she's an adult, I don't think it's a big deal.

[Oysterbabe]

As previous posters have said, the number of people on this thread who would have no issues with spending their child's inheritance have made me realise my own will needs to be water tight in relation to cash gifts to minors.

[Littlepeople12345]

I would definitely use the money. You know you'll be able to pay it back by the time your DC needs it so it would be silly not to use it in my opinion

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Tread very carefully if you do decide to go ahead and use it.

My mother did this to me for what ever reason she was unable to pay it back (the it's for her benefit arguement over and over and over).

I sued her sucessfully for breach of fiduciary responsibility.

[CaptainCabinet]

I had a good think about this when we bought a new house. Here's the conclusion I reached.

Not fine. Your DC is unable to give informed consent.

Every thread on here where someone asks 'should I lend money to family?' Gets an almost unanimous 'only lend money if you are prepared to lose it'. The same argument works backwards.

If you are as low-risk as you think you are then borrow from a proper lender. You say you'll pay it back within a year so you won't cop for much interest anyway.

You only have to put yourself in DC's shoes for a second to see why the inheritance argument doesn't work.

[ImNotThatGirl]

Needs you're a solicitor, aren't you?

[0urKid]

I had a post office account as a child that my birthday money, Christmas money etc would be paid into. My mum was in charge of it. When I reached 17 I wanted it to pay for my driving lessons. For about a year she kept putting me off. I got really annoyed and told her I wanted my money. She told me angrily that as she paid money in it was hers. She'd spent it on double glazing. Ok she may have put her own money in but I just wanted the money I'd been given and saved over the years (at her insistence) which was at least £150-£250 a year. We last spoke about it 20 years ago and point blank refuses to acknowledge it. She had her difficulties and I understand that. But I had a £55 a week apprenticeship job of which she would take £25 of even though she received child benefit and whatever the equivalent of tax credits were. My driving lessons were £15. So I really needed my birthday/Christmas savings which were £2500 minimum. She spent my money and I won't ever get it back. Still gutted now.

[Momoftwoscallywags]

This is why my kids money is in a savings account that cannot be touched until they are 18 yrs old.

My DH would use the OP Hubby's argument and while there is some logic to it, paying it back will always come down to intention and intentions are not guarantees.

Gamblers always get those two words mixed up!

I know I sound harsh but gambling with other people's money is always a no-no.