To use my child's money?

[henparty]

Just looking for opinions on this. We are about to move house, buying a much nicer house in a better area. We can afford the repayments but are maxing ourselves with the move (trying to put as much deposit in as we can to get a better interest rate plus stamp duty, legal fees etc). We are using up every penny of savings but a year from now should be fine. When looking at the very stretched figures yesterday DH suggested we use our DDs savings. She was gifted £5000 by her grandmother before she died but the money is in an account in my name. DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway. AIBU to worry that it is wrong to borrow from your child?

[FarAwayHills]

I can see your logic OP, however the money is inheritance and technically not being spent directly on your DC. However if this is a solution to a short term cash flow issue and as long as it's paid back its ok.

We have an account where we pay a small amount in each month and also any birthday money etc. We have occasionally used some money for specific things the DCs want to do e.g a rather expensive school trip abroad, dance summer camp, extra lessons and a laptop for homework. My reasoning is that those that have given cash birthday gifts would be happy to see it used towards these activities and gave it with the intention that my DCs would buy themselves something in lieu of a gift.

Also I'm not convinced handing over a large sum to an 18 year old is the wisest move. Many are not ready for this responsibility until much older. My friends DS spent his savings on a motorbike and several tattoos

[cornishglos]

I would have no problem using my dc money in an emergency. But this isn't an emergency. I don't think you can afford the house.

[MissDuke]

My dad looked after the finances of an elderly aunt with dementia - would it have been ok for him to 'borrow' large sums of money without her being able to give consent? I do think there is a fine line here.

Personally I think that if you cannot afford this move then it is crazy to go ahead with it. However I am not sure that borrowing the money is hugely wrong, though I definitely wouldn't do it, no matter how tight for money we have been in the past, we have never dipped into the children's savings.

[Molly333]

My ex husband has stolen the children's money his elderly parents had put in the bank for the children , I hv no access to the account but he does as do the children but they cannot withdraw until 18 . The grandparents are Frail and upset . Do the children hv any legal redress ?

[RiverCambs]

I wouldn't, I'd think of it as stealing. It was given to him, it is his and he cannot give consent for its use.

if you're taking your child's money, then you cant afford it

[alltouchedout]

I wouldn't , simply because you don't need to. Struggling to pay rent, buy food, keep the electricity on and you dc has £5k in the bank? Sure. Just wanting a slightly larger deposit on a house when your mortgage won't be a high multiple of income? No.
Can parents legally just decide how their minor dc's inheritance from another person is used, out of interest?

[Bogeyface]

Molly you would be best off starting a new thread of your own, you will get a better response that way

[SemiNormal]

I'm sure you have every intention of paying it back, but a lot can happen in a year - what makes you so sure that something won't crop up that will leave you in a position unable to repay the money? Personally I think it's wrong and would never do that to my child.

[Molly333]

My ex has stolen all the children's miney from their account is there any legal way they can get the money back ?

[Molly333]

My ex has stolen the children's money again from their bank accounts , is there a legal consequence the children can use ?

[oldjacksscrote]

I dont see a problem as long as you're paying them back, I'm sure the tables will turn pretty soon and you'll be the one lending the money.

We had to borrow £500 from ds account when the car went wrong, we paid him back within a couple of weeks and he's 2 so had no idea about the money. It was better that oh could get to work than a 2yo having some cash in the bank.

[Cluesue]

Never mind the house being nicer,you are moving to a better area,which will benefit your daughter.
Borrow the money and pay back within the year,perfectly fine to do.

[workslikeadog]

Op I think if you had saved up the money of your child yourself then that would be fine. But as the Grandmother left it to her granddaughter - I think its wrong not to just take it but to "risk"it. As that is effectively what you are doing. Risking her money. This was money meant specifically for your child, and whilst it will benefit her potentially there is no guarantee she will get it back for her sole benefit.

As others have said your husband is using the argument that she will inherit the house one day anyway to justify taking the money, but all sorts could happen prior to that point. I am 45 years old and my Grandfather is still alive at 93 years old so I haven't inherited anything at all and unlikely to until over 50 years of age. She will certainly need that money in her own right much sooner.

As you have already stretched -there is a risk that there are eventualities that you haven't planned for. What would happen if one or either of you lost your job for example? Repayments still ok? I would think very carefully.

[PregnantAndEngaged]

I wouldn't. I put our sons money into an ISA that we're not allowed to touch. He can't have access to it either until he is 18. I'd rather that than risk us getting into a situation where we're tempted to spend HIS money.

[GreyBird84]

I don't see any problem with this.

We are moving house and may end up using some of DS money to do up the garden, swing slide set etc for him. If we do this, he will be paid back.

We transfer money to his account monthly and all his cash birthday & Christmas presents go to his pot.

He is an only child of 20 months and only grandchild on both sides so Im not overly concerned about putting huge sums away for his future but I feel its important to put some money away from the beginning.

If he was a teenager no way would I be dipping into his money.

[Marynary]

Although it is okay(ish) if you borrow it and pay it back within a year or so it isn't something I would do as I have known people whose parents did this and never paid it back. Although the parents probably intended to pay it back when they took the money, the fact that they didn't makes the parents look very bad. Most people would consider it to be theft.
The DHs argument that she will inherit the house etc. makes me think that there is a possibility the money will never go back in the account. I probably (hopefully) won't inherit anything from my parents until I am in my 60s so would be pretty pissed off to find they had taken money from my account when I was a child on the grounds that I would get it back "one day".

[Grapejuiceforgrownups]

I don't think the "she will inherit it" argument really works, she may be in her 60s before she inherits anything and I'm sure your great aunt or whoever it was would have envisioned that money going on first car, uni, wedding type things. But I don't see the problem in borrowing it and paying it back before she's old enough to use it.

Those who are saying if you have to borrow from DD you can't afford it- stamp duty, solicitor fees and moving costs are one off costs and they are extortionate, would be a shame for OP to be in a smaller house in a worse area just for the sake of £5k she can pay back next year. When it comes to housing you have to do what you have to do!

[Mouseinahole]

I would definitely do it and set up a standing order to pay it back with interest over a realistic period (3years?). If you can pay back sooner you should do so but I really wouldn't worry about it. If there were a couple of noughts on the end of the sum it would be different.
We did the opposite a few years ago and actually borrowed £5k to lend our adult son. It took him several years to repay and we waived the interest but I think in your case it will be fine.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

BigChoc

It's circumstances dependant. In my situation it was a lot of money,there was no dispute as to who that money belonged to,there was no consent informed or otherwise I had no knowledge until the money was gone, I earnt a lot of the money myself.
The only reason she could even access it was because of PR along with several other reasons that when combined contributed towards her being both legally and morally wrong.

it is seriously dodgy ground and there is always a risk when chosing to do it that in the future it would be agreed that someone took advantage of their childs money.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

ImNotThatGirl

At the time I was 19 and the only support I really had was a brilliant family support worker and a alcoholic barely functioning solicitor and my mother was most certainly not ill equipped to defend herself. In reality it was a slam dunk almost guarenteed winner.

[Bogeyface]

I should say that the £1k was on top of what he left to his DD's and he made that clear before he died.

[Bogeyface]

Bigchoc

It depends on how it was given and how and why it was taken. It appears that in this situation the money was given to the OP on the understanding it would be given to the DD in due course. It was never bequeathed to the DD but gifted to the OP before her mums death, so if the OP took and blew it on handbags then it would be legally ok, morally shite but still legal.

My grandad wanted £500 of his savings to go to each of his grandaughters, but rather than leave it to us directly, he left £1k each to our mothers. I know that some of the money didnt go where he intended it to go, but legally those of us who lost out had no recourse as it we were not named in his will, he simply trusted his DDs to follow his wishes, which one of them didnt.

If you want a certain person to recieve money from you after you die the only way to be sure that they will get it is to make it clear in your will and appoint trustees that are not connected in any way to the beneficiary and will not benefit from the way the money is spent.

[Bogeyface]

I have to say Teal that why I totally support the OP in borrowing from her DD in this way, the fact that you are not able to pay back what you "borrowed" suggests to me that it wasnt an emergency cash flow issue, but that you have over committed yourselves. What kind of emergency are we talking about? Why cant you pay it back?

In my world school fees are not a month to month thing, you commit or not.

[BigChocFrenzy]

NeedsAsockAmnesty and others, to whom this was done, have said their parents couldn't / wouldn't repay this "loan".
So, sometimes children lose their inheritance, because their parents spent it / lost it
Money maybe intended to help kids with uni or a house deposit.

We now know some parents may be successfully sued.
Doesn't that mean "borrowing" your DCs' inheritance is legally nok ?

I will ringfence any money to kids in my will, because I do NOT wish the parents to treat it as their own cash - or I'd have left it to the bloody parents !