To use my child's money?

[henparty]

Just looking for opinions on this. We are about to move house, buying a much nicer house in a better area. We can afford the repayments but are maxing ourselves with the move (trying to put as much deposit in as we can to get a better interest rate plus stamp duty, legal fees etc). We are using up every penny of savings but a year from now should be fine. When looking at the very stretched figures yesterday DH suggested we use our DDs savings. She was gifted £5000 by her grandmother before she died but the money is in an account in my name. DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway. AIBU to worry that it is wrong to borrow from your child?

I would, if it's money you need, take it. Even if it takes 3 years to pay back he's never going to know, he isn't likely to use it for anything any time soon. Had it been an older child (17/18) I would have said YABU, they'll need it for their own things soon. But at your DS age, definitely.

Silver I think that the op said it's all in her name and that it was actually given to her but "for" her dd, so not inherited by her dd at all.

I wouldn't do it, it just wouldn't feel right to me. Well, maybe if I was 100% positive that I could pay it back within 60 days because I had guaranteed funds coming in (tax refund, inheritance, back salary owed), but certainly NOT if I had to wait a year before I could repay it. A lot could happen in a year to change circumstances, you know.

What would your grandmother say if she were alive and you asked her?

If using the £5k allows them to push the LTV down a band, the improvement in interest rate and lowered monthly mortgage payments will save way more than £5k in the long run. If it is just sitting in a standard account it will be earning about 0.1% pa, compared to investment in property with current returns of at least 5% pa. It's a fair trade if repaid with that kind of interest rate. I'd do it and set up a standing order to ensure it got repaid.

YANBU.
We "borrowed" from our dc when we moved too. It was just a cash flow thing, not a risk it would not be returned before they needed it. Plus, they benefit most from the new house anyway.

My instinctive reaction was 'no', but then I remembered I borrowed from my 5yo son's birthday money to give to DSD as my MIL asked me to give both step-daughters cash and she would reimburse me. I put it back as soon as MIL paid up. I guess that although the amounts and timeframe are different, the principle is the same.

I think it is acceptable given the circumstances and your commitment thjat it will be put back asap.

I assume that everyone saying that its akin to stealing are the ones who post on threads about charging your working kids rent saying its wrong to "make money" out of your children.....

Threads like these always get so bloody dramatic. Emotional guilt (is there any other kind?), financial abuse? Seriously?

OP, go for it. This really isn't a big deal.

Yup, and make the nice house more affordable than it might be without the 5k so actually the opposite of all the over stretching some posters seem to think would be going on.

I borrowed money from my daughter's account at the start of summer one year to buy her a summer house for the garden. I knew i could, and did, pay it back at the end of summer when i had more spare money. I even told the cashier at the bank how guilty i felt but i thought it made sense to get it at the start of summer with her money then put it back than wait until autumn when she would be out in the garden less so not get as much benefit.

So borrow as ling as you will pay it back. But tbh if youre struggling, £5k is a lot to find in twelve months to oay back. Especially with your husbands comment about the house. He doesnt sound like he ontends to pay it back. I imagine in 12 months time he moght use the excuse that £5k is a fabulous summer holiday that your dd will benefit from...

Well for 1 I wouldn't do it so they wouldn't have to accuse me of temporarily stealing it but if I did they'd have ever right to question me risking their money as there are no guarantees it can be paid back.
2 if I choose to do the right thing not to steal from my own child I wouldn't then throw a choice that was never there's 18 years later to make them feel bad about the bigger house they could have had. I'm the parent any financial issues are for me to arrange on my own two adult feet.

If you are going to borrow it, why not put the re-paid money into a Junior ISA in her name - that way no one can access it until she is 18, and if it grows sufficiently, she will have a nice nest egg to start her adult life.

You may also want to put a note with any wills you have, stating that you have borrowed it and she is to be repaid out of the estate.

My DC have had quite a large inheritence recently, (out of the blue, from a cousin of mine) DS is 18 so has got his, DD is nearly 16 and it is still with solicitors. We are due to meet them next week, at their suggestion, with a view to myself and DH taking over the managment of DD's money for the next 2 years, as solicitors fees would otherwise reduce the capital.

Slightly different I know, due to DD's age, but solicitor has made clear he won't do anything unless she gives her full agreement and then we will all have to sign paperwork permitting us to look after the money for her. At an initial meeting I had with him a couple of months ago, I was also quizzed on whether we all lived together, whether DH and I were a couple etc.

Fortunately she already has an ISA she can top-up, and we are investigating other accounts that a 16yo can have, to get as much as possible into her name.

However, if some of the money does stay in our name, and the worst was to happen, at least there will also be a legal paper trail to show it is her money.

You have no right to touch the money your gran put into her grandchild's trust.

Whatever he says....

Tell him to give you the proof he will pay it back within a year....

You can't temporarily steal something. :o

Stop being ridiculous.

I genuinely think it is fine to use your DC's money in this way however if the £5k will really be make or break don't you think you are over stretching yourselves? What if something unforeseen happens? This is totally not saying you shouldn't touch the money, or even considering it is financial abuse but just be careful with your financial commitments.

I am the sort of over cautious person who always likes to have a 'cushion' of savings 'just in case'.

As long as you pay it back, I honestly don't see the issue with it. It's not for something frivolous, it's for a home in a better area rather than a shopping spree or a flashy car etc. I would set up a standing order from your normal account to the account the money is kept in though, that way it's like a bill that has to be paid each month so you can be sure it gets paid back.

Borrowing it is fine.
Make sure you pay it back as soon as possible.

It wouldn't occur to me not to borrow it! However, if you really are at the point where you're raiding the kid's account to buy a house, it sounds like this is not the house for you. I've done it for emergencies where the alternative was getting a loan.

I feel the same when reading your posts Maryz.

Houses are bought and sold every day... Wait a year or two save up the money you need and then buy a new house when you can afford it OP.

My parents had much tougher times and never took money off me or my siblings and they had greater needs.

Advice from my own mum don't spend what you haven't got.

I think it is okay as you pay it back as a priority. I don't agree at all with your DH that it is okay because she will inherit your house one day though. Noone knows what the future will bring and whether the house will have to be sold to pay for something e.g. care in the future. Also, I don't know how old you are but many people will be in their 60s before they inherit anything from their parents so a bit much to make her wait until then.