Am I overthinking this or was the ballet teacher out of order?

[mika2]

DD is 2.5 and she started ballet a couple of weeks ago. It's drop off and parents are not allowed to watch the class and can't even peek through a window or door which makes me a bit uncomfortable Anyway I dropped her for her first class and she was happy enough when I picked her up but the teacher said she was fine but cried a few times For her second class the nanny dropped her off. The uniform is a tutu, white tights, cardigan, ballet shoes. I hadn't bought the tights as weather is getting better (supposedly) but it was cold so the nanny put her in her own white tights (slightly thicker than the ballet tights) and put on a vest underneath the tutu (which you could barely see as she was also wearing a cardigan) Anyway nanny picked her up and the teacher had taken off her vest and tights. She told the nanny those were the wrong tights and she doesn't need the vest as the room is warm. She had to strip her down to her knickers to take them off as the tights and vest were underneath her tutu. This really bothers me as I feel it's a total invasion of my daughters privacy. Clearly at 2.5 she's not really in a position to object! And I'm sure she was crying her eyes out while it was happening. I can't imagine a teacher would be allowed to do this in a school??

Thoughts please? Am I overthinking this? WWYD?

Depends on the dance school, my 3 year old went to a strict ballet where you couldn't watch. The teacher was actually lovely but very much a dance teacher and strict. My daughter hated the lessons and lasted just long enough for me to buy the very expensive uniform :( should say the children at that school who stuck with it are lovely Dancers now :)

Round here the standard is for parents not to be allowed in. To the point that I know some class teachers plaster up the window on the door so parents can't peer in.

However I was somewhat smug when my dc were little that our ballet teacher let parents in if the child needed and were very open to talk to parents.
However the same open atmosphere that was lovely at 2yo is still there at teens. My girls have just stopped dance there because it leaves open the situation to pushy parents dominating and their children bullying the other children. And the open "let the parents feel involved" actually has equalled"give the pushy parents what they want" because the teacher has no mechanism for putting a barrier to stop it. And the same "don't upset the children and help them feel important" produced the response of "well she needs to rise above it" when I tried to discuss the bullying.

It sounds hyper-strict in general, without even getting into the specifics of them undressing and re-dressing your child to their specifications.

I don't like the sound of 'the assistant literally opens the door a crack to let the kids in and out', the 'continuous emails reminding parents about their never ending list of rules', the rules around the one class parents are allowed to watch...

I never did ballet so am prepared to be told that some classes are just like this, but I'd bet that not all of them are, and you're within your rights to look for a more relaxed one.

witchend, you raise some good points.

The principal of my DDs dance school is not up for parental involvement and quite strict with high expectations.
However she is a Mary Poppins character and the kids adore her. She won't tolerate bullying.
There are 450 kids at my DDs dance school, and the seniors- my DDs group are very close, now having danced for years together.
Beware though, it can get serious and very expensive. Fees are now £180 a month, and we need new expensive shoes every 4-6 weeks.

And I felt guilty leaving my 2.5 year old at an Ofsted excellent rated nursery when I went to work. Nursery had qualified nursery staff that I had met. No way would I leave my 2.5 child in a room with people I've never met or seen.

But why does it need to be one thing or the other? As I say, the dance school we are at starts really chilled, but gets progressively stricter as they get older. We started inside the room with the kids, now we are outside. They started with having no uniform, now they have to wear it for exams and for the special exam practices. In practice, most of them wear it for every lesson but if someone wears a vest underneath no-one pays any attention.
I don't buy that in order to be strict with teenagers, you have to be strict with 2 year olds.

It is normal that parents don't watch dance classes as it is a distraction for some children, and the parents often have babies and/or older, bored siblings with them. There will be a lot of under-4's who might not be able to cope with being left though, so teachers will sometimes let parents in to watch the tinies' class for a few weeks when they start.

Most good ballet teachers would never expect children under about 7/8 to wear tights (unless it is in midwinter and freezing cold).

Normal uniform for younger girls would be a plain leotard, chiffon skirt, cardigan (except in hot weather) and socks; with a close-fitting t shirt, shorts and socks for boys. Socks are normally worn so that the teacher can clearly see the leg muscles working correctly, and leotard/ t-shirts are tight-fitting as that helps the teacher check the child's positioning, and whether they are using their bodies in the right way.

A strict dress code of tutu and tights at 2.5 is just plain ridiculous

Sounds a bit OTT for nursery age ballet but dance teachers are a different breed

They are not like school or nursery teachers and this can come as a shock to some who are not used to teachers taking a strict, straight talking no nonsense approach. If your DD continues with ballet then rules and teachers being critical and are things you and DD will have to get used to.

If your DD continues with ballet then rules and teachers being critical and are things you and DD will have to get used to.

Not at 2.5 though surely?