Am I overthinking this or was the ballet teacher out of order?

[mika2]

DD is 2.5 and she started ballet a couple of weeks ago. It's drop off and parents are not allowed to watch the class and can't even peek through a window or door which makes me a bit uncomfortable Anyway I dropped her for her first class and she was happy enough when I picked her up but the teacher said she was fine but cried a few times For her second class the nanny dropped her off. The uniform is a tutu, white tights, cardigan, ballet shoes. I hadn't bought the tights as weather is getting better (supposedly) but it was cold so the nanny put her in her own white tights (slightly thicker than the ballet tights) and put on a vest underneath the tutu (which you could barely see as she was also wearing a cardigan) Anyway nanny picked her up and the teacher had taken off her vest and tights. She told the nanny those were the wrong tights and she doesn't need the vest as the room is warm. She had to strip her down to her knickers to take them off as the tights and vest were underneath her tutu. This really bothers me as I feel it's a total invasion of my daughters privacy. Clearly at 2.5 she's not really in a position to object! And I'm sure she was crying her eyes out while it was happening. I can't imagine a teacher would be allowed to do this in a school??

Thoughts please? Am I overthinking this? WWYD?

Wearing a tutu alters how you hold your arms. Very difficult for little ones.

Serious ballet students don't wear tutus until Intermediate Foundation ((post grade 5/6)

I think it's silly those of you saying it was inappropriate for her to remove the child's clothes. How would you feel if you picked your child up and she was feeling very under the weather because she had been too hot for the past 45 mins and no one had done anything. I would be fuming if someone realised my child was overheating and chose to do nothing.

There is no way I would send my 2.5 year old off with someone who I had never even met. Particularly for no good reason other than everyone else is doing it.
Baffling.

OP- have a word with yourself. She's 2.

Slooooow down. There will come a point in the future when she'll be willing and able to go off with strangers and actually learn something from the activity in question, but that ain't yet.

Until then you are wasting your money in the best case scenario- or actively choosing to put your child in a distressing situation in the worst.

The whole point about ballet is discipline, in every aspect.
And two and a half is too young to start.

Were the tights you sent her in wool? That's not going to work for ballet. It does need to be the right kind of tights. And she shouldn't have been in a vest under her leotard.

But the tutus is really odd for this age.

And if they put her en pointe any time before she's at least ten, GET HER OUT. Because that could seriously damage her feet.

I agree with the others- 2 is too young for ballet. It is a very strict discipline.

There are lots of fun dance classes for toddlers that parents/carers can join in and stay.

I used to teach dance and we wouldn't take any children under age 3.
They just aren't ready.
And if I had to put up with all the parents in the room with me I'd have gone out of my mind.
It's hard enough without a load of parents in there as well.

Give her a few months and take her back a bit later on.
Some dance schools are very strict with uniform.
Find another one that isn't so strict.

Totally normal for the classes my Dd's went to. She probably would have got hot wearing thick tights and a vest. We were never allowed to watch as it puts the children off.

Of all the things a 2.5-year-old child could be learning, this sounds...bizarre.

And if they put her en pointe any time before she's at least ten, GET HER OUT. Because that could seriously damage her feet.

OMG Does this explain my weird stubby feet??!

Pointe before the age of 10? I'd say a least age 11 & training several times per week.

Garlic, possibly. Here's some science:
www.rmaeug.com/whentogoenpointe.pdf

balletgirl I agree re tutus didn't wear them in my general lessons and only for certain grades etc.... No need in class!

Basically op you're probably paying for a baby ballet or similar franchise which as far as i can see is a rip off and exploits mums wanting kids in tutus dancing. Fine if you want that but don't be fooled into thinking its proper ballet.

I could (just about) understand removing the vest if it was obscuring the line of her spine.... right up until you said tutu.

Any dance school that puts a young girl in a full tutu is doing it to part parents from cash - it's style over substance and actually detrimental to the girl being taught correctly.

As little and as form fitting as possible is best :-) to the point where a lot of schools want socks, not tights of any sort, on the younger girls.

It is a strict style, though - some examining boards will fail a student in exam for being incorrectly dressed or having the wrong hairstyle, so its worth bearing that in mind.

And, in contrast to others, I would be very worried about any school that allowed parents into classes. I've seen that and it was chaos, with parents chatting over the teachers and interfering, kids shouting for mummy rather than concentrating and nobody learning anything!

Hi my dd age 2 started ballet classes last week. Not only were we allowed to watch but I ended up participating as did the other mums ( must have looked a right twat ) anyway at this age I think it should be about having fun with an element of ballet thrown in. If uncomfortable I'd look for something a bit more relaxed X

Sorry should just add my oldest dd started ballet at 4 and parents weren't allowed to be in the room and it actually did her the world of good as she was quite a clingy child and as pp just said it can turn into bedlam with all mums in the room also. However the class we started last week was very small and relaxed which I'm pleased about because to me I still think them babies at that age X

Proper ballet- as in what would make a dancer, would start at about five - seven, and even then if - it were not very well taught - could be teaching mistakes. Tutus would not be worn and not frilled leotards either as the teacher cannot see the hips. I think that's what Garlic maybe was referring to as well.

Maybe from about three the children could usefully be learning different rhythms, skipping, bending and straighteneing the knees and arm movements in a simple way.

Parents would disrupt the class, but on the other hand at 2 1/2 a baby may be too young to be without her carer at east to start with. Perhaps your daughter should wait a little OP.

Pointe shoes should only come after serious training after strength in the ankles, calves and thighs, together with a good line in the spine has been adequately developed.

This ballet class at such a young age, must be more for fun and probably the little girls love wearing the tutus and are in seventh heaven in oceans of pink!

OP I think the single most important thing I have learnt as a parent is to trust my instinct. If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't.

Stunned at the number of people who are saying its normal for parents to be outside. DD started ballet at 3. There was no uniform requirements until they did their first exams, although many of the children saw the older kids coming and going and wanted to wear what they were wearing. Most wore tutus of some description. And we stayed and sat in the hall. There was not a problem with kids running backwards and forwards - it just didn't seem to happen. And where it did, the teacher didn't really care because the children are so young - they're hardly in training for the Royal Ballet yet. She just gently encouraged them to go back and join in.
Four years later, we don't go in to watch anymore. But the parents I sit with in the corridor are the same parents I was sitting in the class with four years ago. Most of the kids have stuck with it, which I think is telling, and we've built up a big social group which both my daughter and I love. The kids still love the dancing, they are passing exams no problem (in the last round of ballet, my daughter got the lowest score in the class and she got a merit) so it hasn't affected their learning. And she's still not that strict about uniform apart from exam time. Kids wear underwear under their leotards, cardigans if it's cold - doesn't seem to cause any issues.
The teacher is also a ballet examiner, so she knows what she's doing, and since we've been going quite a few of her students have gone off to ballet school.

I think what I'm trying to say is that a rigid approach really isn't necessary. You can have it quite relaxed, with parents involved, and still turn out good results and potential professional dancers. And better still, the kids enjoy it along the way, want to stick with it so get all the benefits from the exercise, and make good friends at the same time.

Oh and while I can see that people are saying it might be bedlam with parents talking, it never really happened. And if it did happen, I can see the teacher involved having no problem with saying "Could we just have a bit of quiet, mums and Dads, the girls are trying to listen."

Lovely article here:
hubpages.com/entertainment/benefits-of-dancing-for-children

My DD does a fun ballet class, she started at 4yo and can wear any variation of ballet clothing she likes. She loves it but it is something she chose to do. I think it's a waste of money to send toddlers to any kind of activity without their parents and she's clearly not enjoying it as she is crying. Wait until she is old enough to tell you what she wants to try out.

As for her uniform I'd expect teachers to help 2.5yos with their clothes as they can't do it themselves. Presumably the teacher also helps any toddler who needs the toilet during the class, my DD could not have gone to the toilet unassisted at that age. Concerns about privacy and dignity at that age are misunderstandings of the concept - you cannot violate the privacy of a toddler that has no conception of personal space, agency, the private/public divide or feelings of embarrassment and humiliation in relation to any of the above.

That sounds a really good teacher babybythesea

I'm mystified, the more I read, by the idea that kids of 2 need a strict, quiet controlled environment (in which parents are unwelcome) because it interferes with their learning. Learning what?? Ours marched round like soldiers, skipped like butterflies, learnt to put their feet into first (after a fashion) and not to batter each other with tambourines. What they mainly learnt was that ballet was great fun with a group of mates.

I've also worked (to be fair, in a completely different field) with kids that age. Parents were welcome. They deal with the toilet issues and the excess clothing issues. You deal with telling the kids the things they need to know, engage them with the activity - as a teacher I never had any problems. It worked well because the parents can talk to the kids about what they've done - because the parent was there, it actually helps promote interest and conversation about the activity.

I can see parents being pleased for a chance for a cup of coffee but I don't get the attitude of "Kids Must Learn and Parents Get In The Way". Nope. Kids (especially tiny ones) must enjoy it. Parents don't hinder that in my experience. Strictness can be introduced later. Which does work - doesn't seem to have done any of the kids in our ballet school any harm anyway.