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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel totally ignorant about racism

347 replies

IcingandSlicing · 02/05/2016 09:24

In that topic the other day I've learned that I am totally ignorant about racism. I had no idea that comments about hair for example that could be totally not ill meant could strike such a deep chord among other people
Or is it the comment itself or the way it was made - by the tone of voice etc nonverbal information you get from people - that makes it racist?
Or just some comments people make regarding kids like cheeky monkey for epinstance (there are tees with this) could be seen as racist?
I'm at a lost to be honest.
I've probably offended many people without even knowing about it.
I'd assume that in 2016 people would feel equal no matter how they look and not take offense from random comments.
Aibu to think that I'd better keep away from black people in case I'd say something that would offend them? (I mean I can say whatever negative thing I want about blond haired people, red haired people, black haired people, people who colour their hair, people who don't colour their hair, people who have thin hair, people who have thick hair, etc, but I feel like with black people it's likely to strike a deeper chord than ever intended and I am ignorant enough not to understand the history behid that makes it worse.)
And sorry about that I really don't mean to offend. Just to understand. Flowers

OP posts:
drspouse · 07/05/2016 09:44

Several other people on this thread had looked up that abbreviation all by themselves.

drspouse · 07/05/2016 09:46

(And I'm cross with poster(s) who refuse to educate themselves about racial slurs that will affect their own children though I realise that's not this particular poster, I do think people should be willing to look up a few things for themselves. It's a lot quicker for a start).

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 09:48

I thought it would be a good way to join the conversation. No need to be an asshat about it.

drspouse · 07/05/2016 09:54

No... And I'm sorry for being grumpy but there's also no need to throw insults around.

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 09:58

Whatever, I don't want to de rail. I find this topic interesting and want to continue to read.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 07/05/2016 10:21

One of the things I like about the SN boards is that when someone comes on, wanting to learn and understand, and they ask the same bloody questions for a gazillionth time, usually no-one snaps ' Haven't you heard of google?'
Wanting to be educated is a good trait, as is asking questions.

drspouse · 07/05/2016 11:34

Yes, I agree. Just very grumpy at the moment.

quencher · 07/05/2016 11:45

I don't know why anyone would want to compare their children to mischievous little fuckers. It's not very endearing to be called a cheeky monkey either if you understand why someone is saying or using the term.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/05/2016 18:45

MY DH is black. My children are mixed race.
In which case you should know better.
The term "Cheeky Monkey", when used as a term of endearment, toward a young child is NOT racist!
Yes it is. Read some history.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/05/2016 18:45

It's 2016, the time where people get offended and butt hurt over anything they can find to feed off of attention, you're most likely not racist at all, just that this whole PC thing has ruined this generation with being too fragile when it comes to words
ODFOD!

gingergenie · 07/05/2016 19:04

I was musing about this thread today. It struck me that, when I was growing up, the local corner shop was generally referred to as 'the paki shop'. It isn't now. When I was growing up, the terms 'coloured' or 'half caste' were used. They aren't now. When I was growing up, the Chinese takeaway was referred to as ' the chinky'. It isn't now.
Why? Because we have found out that those terms are offensive (as well as why) and so they have ceased to be used.
This is called evolution. If it offends someone and you didn't realise, fair enough. Once you've been told it is offensive, then you have no excuse, and shouldn't use that term again. That's how the evolution of language works. I will certainly be giving more thought to this in future. Thanks for a very eye-opening thread.

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 19:07

ginger you should move to Cornwall where all these terms are very much still in use.

gingergenie · 07/05/2016 19:09

Really? Fuck I must live in a bubble. That's horrible. Sad

BertrandRussell · 07/05/2016 19:09

"ginger you should move to Cornwall where all these terms are very much still in use"

Well, among ignorant, racist people they are...........

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 19:13

I am often referred to as "the chink" by strangers down here, much different to east London where I grew up. There are virtually no foreigners down here even compared to plymouth which is only over the bridge. It's very racist, but ignorant racism not malicious racism. Ignorant racism doesn't bother me much. I can't hate a person for being thick.

findingmyfeet12 · 07/05/2016 19:47

I am from a minority ethnic background and have been asked where I'm from "originally" plenty of times. I was happy to trot out my ancestry when I was younger but now I really resent the question. I also resent any implication that I'm overly sensitive. Aside from this question, my ethnicity has never held me back professionally or been the cause of prejudice.

I agree with the previous poster who felt that the op was making a dig at certain ethnicities being overly sensitive. I got that vibe from the opening post as well.

TheTartOfAsgard · 07/05/2016 20:33

I think there's a lot of confusion about the difference between being racist and being Unintentionally racist.

As an example: If I were to call a group of white children 'cheeky monkeys' if they were playing mischievously. But If there was a black child in the group I wouldn't. Doesn't that make it more racist, as I'm actively doing/not doing something based purely on skin colour. Which is worse? It's confusing.

Incidentally, The soft play centre near me is called cheeky Monkeys.

BIWI · 07/05/2016 20:56

By not using it if there is a black child there, then that means you know it's a racist phrase. So why continue using it at all?

TheTartOfAsgard · 07/05/2016 21:05

No, i don't believe it's racist at all. Its an idiom. But, hypothetically, not using cheeky monkey only because a black child is there, would be racist, as I would only be doing it because of skin colour.

UmbongoUnchained · 07/05/2016 21:10

Would you be offended if a group of mixed children were called cheeky monkeys by a black person?

FutureGadgetsLab · 07/05/2016 21:18

I must admit I don't understand how "little monkey/cheeky monkey" is racist.

Errata · 07/05/2016 23:02

Yet it's been explained a number of times on this thread.

drspouse · 07/05/2016 23:04

Future have a scan of a few links and bits of info posted above. There's a lot on both its origins and recent use.

BIWI · 07/05/2016 23:07

FFS. Does it really have to be explained to you? Again?

It's racist because racist people say that black people look like monkeys.

Is that simple and clear enough for you?

Baconyum · 08/05/2016 03:09

Regarding words not mattering, if that were true there wouldn't be laws in many countries against using bigoted language.

Noam Chomsky in his studies on basic language acquisition in children and how this affects cognition is a much more in depth explanation but basically what we think and how we feel is affected by the words we use in both thought and speech. So synonyms may have roughly the same meaning but which precise word we choose says a lot about us!

In the context of this thread, eg exactly which words we CHOOSE to use to describe people based on their physical appearance as it pertains to their ethnic heritage.

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