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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scouts camping trip

57 replies

MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:10

DS (13) was supposed to be doing a hike next weekend with explorers and then staying overnight at a public campsite with three other scouts (ages 13-15) all girls.

They are going to be covertly monitored by one of the leaders who will also stay in a tent but they won't know he's there. They will have his mobile number in case of emergency.

We've discussed it and decided not to let DS go. He's very sensible and understands why. I feel bad that the leader thinks I'm a lightweight. I'm normally quite liberal and trust DS completely but can think of a million and one things that could go wrong.

The main thing that puts me off is that I wouldn't leave him alone with 3 girls at home overnight and being in a public campsite is probably less safe. AIBU?

OP posts:
John4703 · 01/05/2016 21:14

If the leader is nearby and keeping watch it should all be safe for everyone.

capercaillie · 01/05/2016 21:17

YABU.

Why is being in a public campsite less safe?

Permanentlyexhausted · 01/05/2016 21:21

I'm pretty sure that if this is a Scout event, they will have to have separate tents for girls and boys, but I could be wrong. I'm not sure what you think might happen, but tents aren't exactly known for their soundproof qualities so I doubt they'll get up to much.

What else do you think could go wrong?

Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:21

Hi John, thanks for replying. To the outside world they will appear unsupervised. Do you not think that could attract some unwanted attention?

OP posts:
Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:23

Thanks for your replies. It's not a scout event. It's just the four of them.
I'm concerned that to the outside world they will appear unsupervised and that might attract some unwanted attention.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:23

Oops double posted some of that.

OP posts:
capercaillie · 01/05/2016 21:25

No - it won't attract unwanted attention. We have DofE groups camping unsupervised (and sometime supervised). And presumably that's why there is a leader on site too.

Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:27

Don't you have to be older to do DofE?

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/05/2016 21:27

If you are worried about home having sex with the girls that's going to be pretty hard on a public campsite where every whisper will be clearly heard by all the other campers (and the covertly monitoring leader).

I really don't think that other campers are going to think that he is there with his harem either...

I really don't understand your reasons for not letting him go.

capercaillie · 01/05/2016 21:28

Presumably the leaders will also be making clear what behaviour they expect of groups on camp - both within the group and with other people on the campsite.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/05/2016 21:28

D of E bronze is 14+

capercaillie · 01/05/2016 21:29

14 years for DofE. Those who are Scouts are often the best prepared and most experienced!

Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:32

I would feel a lot better if they knew the leader was there. They just seem so young.

OP posts:
GeezAJammyPeece · 01/05/2016 21:32

When DD (20, but 14/15 at the time) did her DofE expeditions, they were a mixed group and had to strike camp on their own. Leaders were nearby and they a means of contact to use in emergencies. They split into smaller groups and each group had to get from A to C, via B. If I remember from the photos, her group was of about 6-8 and mostly girls; there were only a couple of lads. I think the chaps had one tent and the girls were split between 2.

They got lost, had to pitch tents in the dark, got sunburnt, cultivated ginormous blisters, had tea & biscuits with the local laird whilst the adults went to find a group who got really lost, and came home shattered & filthy.
At no time did anyone get up to any hanky panky AFAIK.

I will admit, we were a little uneasy at first at the idea of shock horror mixed sleeping arrangements, but we thought about it and common sense prevailed.

You know your own son however and if you feel you can't trust him to behave appropriately or worry he will be led astray by the 3 harlots in the tent then by all means veto the trip.

sizeofalentil · 01/05/2016 21:33

Would you feel differently if it was a more mixed/ all male group?

Ultimately, you're the parent and if it makes you feel uncomfortable then you are fine to pull the plug on it.

Saying that, it doesn't sound like a massively risky venture.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/05/2016 21:33

Why? What exactly is it that you are worried about?

(Not being snotty, I have worked with young people and camped lots.so may be able to setnyour mind at rest)

redcaryellowcar · 01/05/2016 21:35

I think you need to trust your instincts. You know what he can and can't cope with.

emmaluvseeyore · 01/05/2016 21:36

If this camp is done through scouting and not a private thing with friends, I'm pretty sure boys can't share with girls. To be honest, I don't really see the problem with this. A leader will be there to step in if necessary. I'm a ranger leader, and our 14 year olds can do something similar, and many 14 year olds do bronze DofE.

Jugglingballs65 · 01/05/2016 21:36

Scout leaders risk assess all these events. They will be well prepared and the leader will step in if there are any concerns.

Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:37

I'm not worried about sex. I would feel better if there were more of them going.
I am hoping he will do DofE but haven't decided whether to go through school or scouts yet.
He is my PFB!

OP posts:
pookamoo · 01/05/2016 21:38

If there is a leader there / involved, it is a Scout trip. For insurance, safeguarding, etc purposes.
Otherwise they have to be "a group of friends" and the trip would be unofficial and without leaders.

What exactly are you worried about, OP?

Flossieflower01 · 01/05/2016 21:40

My 13 year old twins are doing bronze D of E and have done scout camps including one in a wood about 100m from an open prison. If there is a staff member on site it will be fine.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/05/2016 21:40

What difference would.more make? I still don't understand what you are worried about?

Jugglingballs65 · 01/05/2016 21:43

Does he want to go?

Original poster
MissSmiley · 01/05/2016 21:44

If it's not ok to leave your child alone at home overnight at 13, why is it ok to leave them on a campsite?
What if they loose mobile signal and can't contact the leader? They won't know he's there. That is there only means of contacting him.
What if girls go to loo block in the night and leave the other girl on her own?
What if they are approached by group of properly unsupervised lads/girls looking for trouble?
I know some of my worries seem a bit out there.

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