Scouts camping trip

[MissSmiley]

DS (13) was supposed to be doing a hike next weekend with explorers and then staying overnight at a public campsite with three other scouts (ages 13-15) all girls.

They are going to be covertly monitored by one of the leaders who will also stay in a tent but they won't know he's there. They will have his mobile number in case of emergency.

We've discussed it and decided not to let DS go. He's very sensible and understands why. I feel bad that the leader thinks I'm a lightweight. I'm normally quite liberal and trust DS completely but can think of a million and one things that could go wrong.

The main thing that puts me off is that I wouldn't leave him alone with 3 girls at home overnight and being in a public campsite is probably less safe. AIBU?

[lakesstu]

Sorry to resurrect a zombie thread, but I just wanted to share my understanding in case it is useful. Bear in mind that I lead Beavers, not Explorers, so please don't take what I say as gospel.

There seems to be some confusion about which section they are in. As far as I can tell they are not Scouts (10.5-14) but Explorers (13.5-18). In this case they do not actually have to have an adult with them 24/7 as far as I know. Instead, a Leader with the right qualification and experience can grant one of them a 'Nights Away Passport' for the event if that Leader is satisfied that they can be trusted and other risks are mitigated.

In this case, the one who is granted the passport effectively becomes the Leader, even if they are not themselves an adult.

Maybe an Explorer Leader could give a more definitive answer.

[BeckysMediocreHair]

What are you worried about? He molests the others? They molest him? Creepy wood folk come out of the trees and molest them?

There's an adult with them. They are young, good kids who go to Scouts. With an adult. If you don't like the idea of your kids a) camping with friends and b) mingling with the opposite sex, maybe sending them to Scouts was a poor choice.

[capercaillie]

Thanks for update! Hope he has a great time.

[wheresthel1ght]

Apologies I missed your update.

Glad you spoke to the leaders and feel better!

[Natsku]

Glad you changed your mind, you were over-worrying a bit too much there!

[wheresthel1ght]

I do understand your worries but tbh they are a bit silly. Your concerns are more likely to happen when they walk to school/local town on their own.

These sorts of events are well planned and risk assessed. There will be documentation to support this which you are entitled to see.

The whole point of the exercise is for the kids to learn how to respond in all the situations you are describing. I have run similar events with guides so just girls and never had an issue.

It is your decision ultimately but should your ds really miss out on something just because you are scared and being a bit pfb?

If it was him that was worried I might say Yanbu but in this case I think yab a little u

[RobinHumphries]

Back in the day when I did DofE we didn't have mobile phones so not having a signal wasn't a problem.
Other people on campsites will be camping themselves, not roaming around looking to start trouble.
I would have thought they would have to cancel the hike if your son didn't go as 4 is usually the minimum number so if someone got injured 2 go for help and 1 stays with the injured member

[funniestWins]

This seems incredibly over protective and imposing your rules ('I'll let him go if you do x') seems unfair on the rest of the group who are no doubt relishing their taste of independence. Either let him go or not.

For what it's worth, the chance of him being kidnapped, taking up crack and being sold into slavery to pedophile gypsies who flee the country are quite slim!

Time for you to let him start to grow up.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

In order to do his chief scout gold then he will have already needed to do a one night unaccompanied camp

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

This will be for their expedition badge?

Dss did this when Ds2 was still 10. There were half a dozen of them DS1 was 11 and eldest Scout was 13 - tbf they were all boys. They had to walk and then camp and feed themselves. Then pack up and walk again.

They had a ball, leader was camped just out of sight.

[AdjustableWench]

Glad you're reconsidering. They'll all have a brilliant time. These kinds of experiences are the things that make kids more mature and I'm sure your son will benefit from it enormously.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

When I did my DofE bronze at 14, I was one of a group of 5 (all Air Cadets) who camped together. I was the only female.

Surprisingly enough, based upon your thinking, it didn't turn into some crazed orgy.

Although I did have to help one of the other members get his fire lit (no euphemism intended).

I am disappointed that you don't trust your son.

[MissSmiley]

You're all right. I was being over cautious. I've expressed my concerns and they've agreed that the kids will know that the leader is there and where. I feel a lot happier and I'm sure he'll have a great time.

[GeezAJammyPeece]

Your concerns are all perfectly reasonable to have run through your head, but they shouldn't really cause you to stop him going.


They know the leader will be there (and as pp have said, they'll probably know where)

ANY unlikely issues caused or instigated by outside parties would be dealt with swiftly.

Most public campsites are actually pretty strict these days about noise & nonsense, so a group of lads looking to cause trouble would probably risk getting turfed out anyway.

[grumpysquash3]

He's been on loads of camps before. He has his chief scout gold award.

He will be very well prepared then and will love it.

I don't think the girls will try to jump him.

The campsite will have a manager, or caretaker or someone who is around in case of emergency.

If he's not allowed to go now, then when? At 15? 16? 21? 40?

[Permanentlyexhausted]

It is hard but this is a safe and supervised opportunity for him to learn how to deal with some of the challenges he'll face when out and about with a group of teenagers.

A Scout activity is a much safer place for him to experience what it's like to cope on his own than an evening out in town with school friends.

[Nofunkingworriesmate]

A parents worst fear is peodo killers/ abusers but this is v v v rare ( one child a year) while two children die every week crossing the road.

Why don't you visit campsite in disguise... I'm imagining commando style crawling through mud

Let him have fun....go on

[emmaluvseeyore]

I think they are more likely to deal with any issues sensibly if they think they are alone. Kids rely on adults too much really. The leaders will have a LOT of experience with this and will have adequately risk assessed the trip. If they didn't think they were capable of doing this safely, then they wouldn't take them.

[capercaillie]

I think to have concerns is natural but the risk of anything untoward happening is very low. This type of experience is fantastic for young people to experience independence in a safe way. Mobile reception will have been checked out.
I would have thought though that it would be fairly hard for the leader to remain completely covert if they're staying on the same campsite?

[1frenchfoodie]

YABU though don't know why they are being covertly monitored. If it is about independence then the supervisor should simply say they are for emergencies, not day to day stuff (putting up tent etc).

[MissSmiley]

Thank you all so much for your replies.
It's really hard letting go when they get a bit older.

[MissSmiley]

He's been on loads of camps before. He has his chief scout gold award. Mostly it's been at a scout event.
I'm really not worried about them having sex. I might sleep on it and possibly ask them if they'll agree to them knowing where the leader is. I'd be fine with that.

[PeppermintPasty]

Mine is still at Cubs stage, but yes, I do think yabu, as your op asks.

I think you're overthinking it, you probably know this. Can't you try and swallow these things down, if they are your issues? It seems a shame for him to miss out on a potentially great experience. And the odds are of course, that it will be massively positive and fun, and nothing at all will go wrong.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

If it's not ok to leave your child alone at home overnight at 13, why is it ok to leave them on a campsite?

Firstly I'm not sure that it's not OK to leave a 13 year old overnight. Secondly a campsite is far less likely to have a house fire/burst pipe/ceiling collapse etx

What if they loose mobile signal and can't contact the leader? They won't know he's there. That is there only means of contacting him.

They probably won't need to contact the leader. I'm pretty sure the leader will have checked mobile reception. If there is no reception the racket they make trying to sort themselves will mean someone, probably the leader will come to help them.

What if girls go to loo block in the night and leave the other girl on her own?

What if they do? Them opening the zip will wake the entire campsite and the other girl. Shell know they are going as will the rest of the campsite.

What if they are approached by group of properly unsupervised lads/girls looking for trouble?

Then they, or another group of campers, or the leader will deal with it. It is pretty unlikely though.

I know some of my worries seem a bit out there.

Yup Honestly, he'll be fine and learn loads. Have a chat to the leader, they will have risk assessed the trip and will be able to answer your concerns.