to be able to eat my lunch without comments at work?

[Lunch123]

I am getting really fed up lately with my line managers comments about what I eat.

She is constantly criticising no matter what I eat. I usually have salads most days. She criticises the repetitiveness of what I eat and burst out with laughter yesterday because I was eating a bag of salad leaves. I have tried eating away from my desk but we do not have have facilities because of construction work taking place. Sometimes I have to work through my lunch too so eat at my desk.

If I eat chocolate or something sweet she takes much pride in pointing it out and then saying I am not sharing it. She doesn't share anything sweet that she has.

Worst bit is that she is also HR. She is very friendly with people in HR higher too so I can't pursue this. I have seen another complaint about her quashed because of her connections.

The weather has been so bad lately so can't eat outside either. Her comment are getting worse and I am not sure what to do or how to handle it.

its the morbid part that i'm holding issue with, that is a defined term with specific measurements - how can you tell someone's BMI just by looking at them?

I have someone who comment, not on my food, but on the fact that I (apparently) tend to pull my top down when I'm speaking I'm going to tweak some of the responses on here for next time. I'm fairly sure it's a low level intimidation attempt - pretty frigging odd, to be fair

Well, ImNotDancing, you can tell roughly what height someone is and you can tell roughly what weight they are, can't you?

It's cause she's a lot lot bigger than you and has an issue! I'd just eye roll and ask her why she's so interested in your lunch.

Is she like this with only you?

The women who I work with are always trying to feed me sweets & crap I get tuts and disapproving looks when I refuse it.

Imperial You can roughly guess their dress size but not their weight. As someone who's spent years in fashion retail talking to people you'd be surprised about how different people carry their weight. Two women might be the same size but vastly different weights

God, you are all so diplomatic!

If it was me, I would really get on it, in a monotone, preachy voice:

'Well, colleague, you know how it is, it's all about a healthy, balanced diet. I eat this way to maintain my size. Yes, now I do have the occasional treat but as you may have noticed (ha) these are few and far between. If you need any recipes, just let me know.'

Repeat until she shuts the fuck up.

ImNotDancing, just because you can't tell whether some people are morbidly obese, that doesn't mean you can't tell whether anyone is.

For example, if the woman in question was 5ft tall and wearing a size 30 dress, she's going to be morbidly obese no matter how she carries her weight.

Only the OP knows what this woman looks like and whether it's obvious or questionable.

Is it okay to say - "Ooh, that looks nice!"

And make sure there's loads of people around to hear.

Start talking about macro-nutrients or 5:2, blood sugar diet and she'll slink away like a cat in the night.

just tell her that diet and food blabber is incredibly boring, and is one reason why women are often perceived as less intelligent.

ask her to talk about something interesting. Whatever shape she is.

I am SO glad I never worked in an office like this.

alternatively, take in a pot of cheap soup and pour it over her head.

I'd be tempted to act amused and say " I was telling friends how you always comment on everthing I eat and they all thought it was hillarious, they wondered what you ate? "

much in line with other comments I would state firmly " I find your comments whist I am eating uncomfortable"
she'll say some glib retort and you say " I find your comments whist I am eating uncomfortable"

broken record routine - as long as you are polite - you cannot be faulted

I suppose a straight "fuck off" is out of the question?

We have two real lunchbox police. Does my tree in. One woman will actually shove her face in your food and sniff it. Grim. The other will interrogate, how you made it/where you got it from, the portion aize, the cost. And then you'll try and bat her off and she'll just hover. It's so weird.

Sounds like she's jealous. With the salad I'd say something like "are you seriously going on about it again? You sound like a broken record and it's getting boring". With the chocolate, I'd wanna say "you don't need any" but would stick with either "so you'll share yours next time will you" or "why would I share with someone so rude?"

I think, especially as she's your line manager, you should respond in a neutral way, eg

Her: you're eating that again!
you: yes, I like it (and carry on eating)

Her: you not going to share your chocolate then?
You: no, and I don't expect anyone to share their food with me either (and carry on eating it)

I hate this. It makes me anxious to eat at work. I was eating a banana once and got someone saying "oh look at you stuffing your face!" I got another woman say "what the hell is that" whilst putting her face right near my food. I binned it in front of her and said "it was my lunch but I don't fancy it now you've breathed all over it".

You should definitely say something polite but to the point

I would say 'you know as you're a larger lady I wouldn't dream of commenting on what you eat. That's how thin privilege goes I guess.' As a fat woman this would mortify me and I'd never comment on your food again.

Brutally honestly, I would be requesting a recorded conversation with this woman and a 3rd party as a scribe. I would have a list of things that I wanted to ensure I got across and I would be saying that as my LM, she should bloody well know better.

Commenting once or twice could be considered mildly amusing banter. After that, it's highly annoying and an attempt to shame you regardless of whether you are eating something perceived to be healthy or not.

My current office is FULL of women like this. They are all (well mostly all) good natured, but they are OBSESSED with dieting. I recently lost 2.5st on a low cal low carb diet and I get quizzed every meal time about it. It was pretty strict but I was congratulated and made a fuss of for every 'good' lunch I had. It's weird because they are all really nice, they are all complementing me on my weight loss, but I hate that this is the main topic of conversation all the time.

I am now winding down off the strict diet and building some carbs back in and my calories back up slowly. But I feel really self conscious about everything; like I'm letting them all down by eating a ham salad sandwich.

One of the women (who is genuinely kind and lovely) is on an incredibly strict diet and training regime. She is already very slim and very fit, but I think her relationship with food is probably as unhealthy as mine (I am still obese). The whole thing makes me sad.

I keep throwing out new topics of conversation (news, topical events, whatever!) but we get back to diets within a few minutes.

Weird how she wants you to share the chocolate, but not the salad

I get this at work sometimes "how can you eat all that & keep so slim?"

"I used to eat much more but now I'm in my 50s I have had to cut my portions & do more exercise"

I suppose a straight "fuck off" is out of the question?

I say it in my head all the time!

She constantly tells me that I eat unhealthily. She criticises the tomatoes in my salad. She makes a mockery that I don't have carbs at lunch. I do have them later in the evening.

I think I do need to say something, my worry is that I will be seen as criticising her weight indirectly. It seems to be acceptable in her eyes to criticise my dietary choices.

What's wrong with tomatoes?!