to be able to eat my lunch without comments at work?

[Lunch123]

I am getting really fed up lately with my line managers comments about what I eat.

She is constantly criticising no matter what I eat. I usually have salads most days. She criticises the repetitiveness of what I eat and burst out with laughter yesterday because I was eating a bag of salad leaves. I have tried eating away from my desk but we do not have have facilities because of construction work taking place. Sometimes I have to work through my lunch too so eat at my desk.

If I eat chocolate or something sweet she takes much pride in pointing it out and then saying I am not sharing it. She doesn't share anything sweet that she has.

Worst bit is that she is also HR. She is very friendly with people in HR higher too so I can't pursue this. I have seen another complaint about her quashed because of her connections.

The weather has been so bad lately so can't eat outside either. Her comment are getting worse and I am not sure what to do or how to handle it.

I would be so fecking annoyed about that, hate people commenting on my food at the best of time. I think I'd firmly say something along the lines of "I'm trying to enjoy my lunch and you're making it very difficult." (Whilst thinking "fuck off" in my head).

It's difficult but I think that you need to address it seriously with her. Using "I feel..." phrases can be helpful for diffusing a message like this. "I feel self-conscious and uncomfortable when you comment on my food, so please stop doing this." I think that once you've told her that you're not ok with it, if she persists in doing it, it is reasonable to get someone higher-up involved. She may be friendly with HR - but if you put something in writing to them they'll have to at least raise it to her and she'll be mortified. It might be worth jotting down what she has said and when she has said it and keeping a diary from now on. That will help prevent it being minimised.

Sounds like she is very insecure with her own weight and jealous of yours. I'd just completely blank her every time she makes a comment.

I would say before you ask i have salad for lunch its very nice what have you got oh that sounds lovely smile sweetly ppop earphones in and play on your phone read a paper and ignore her do it for a week she might get the message.

My work is the same MrsDeVere - properly made me laugh, that did

There's a McDonald's near our school (I am a teacher) and one teacher got a McChicken sandwich meal one Friday, and it really was like a mini riot!

Pity me. I've had to invent all sorts of strange allergies to get aloe vera pushing people to back off, and I barely dare eat anything!

I work with food obsessed women ooo naughty crisps a cheeky biscuit oh piss off

How about, 'Haha, you said that very thing yesterday and the day before...it's starting to feel like Groundhog Day. Shall we just agree that we like different things?' With a quizzical raise of an eyebrow.

Surely she can't keep it up after that.

We have one man in our department, and he is currently doing something to do with protein and brings this massive container filled with chocolate flavoured shake stuff?

It has attracted a few comments, the funniest being 'what is that big thing John is holding?' (not his real name!) It's taken the heat of the discussion of salads and soups.

How about "were you looking for ideas for your own lunch?" in an oh so innocent tone

I like dealing with those situations with very boring/non-sarcastic questions, takes all the fun out of it and eventually they get too bored to dare question you any more. Just very innocently ask "yes, I fancied salad again this morning, is that weird?" "oh, I never knew you weren't supposed to eat things a few days in a row - why is that?" "so how many times can you have the same meal in a week, is there a limit?"

Eventually even the thickest skinned person either cottons on to how ridiculous they sound questioning it or just gets bored.

i would take in two portions of your lunch salad and present her with one saying you seem so fascinated with my lunch i thought you might like to try some,

Put headphones on and listen to some music.

^I get this all the time at work.
People are not unkind but they are obsessed.

If I bring a bag of chips in there is a mini riot. There is talk of nothing else for at least 10 minutes.

Its baffling to me but I have never dieted or had issues with weight so I have never got into that weird relationship with food so many women have.

I am not judging them for it. I get that there are massive pressures on women wrt weight.

But that doesn't mean I appreciate them commenting on every bloody thing I eat.^

^^ This, totally. I am not overweight and don't openly diet. Sometimes I do try to watch what I eat if I put on a few pounds or find that I have fallen into a trap of eating rubbish, but my weight has not visibly changed in my entire adult life.

However, I work in an office with several women that are weight and diet obssessed and are always 'being good' or 'having one last binge before starting again next week' and I think sadly they have simply forgotten how to eat normally and cannot look at food without thinking about whether it is fattening or not.

They also cannot get their head round the fact that some people can eat chips once in a while and not be overweight but I've tried to drop hints (nicely) in response to the 'Barbara, how come you can eat chips and not be fat like me' comments - one of my perpetual yoyo dieter colleagues actually said this to me, but they aren't interested in the answer, as it is unpalatable to them and they would rather go for the latest trendy diet or no effort quick fix.

My explanations about portion size (if I get fish and chips, it does me two meals, to Mrs Yoyo's one, who from my observations in the office alone, she must eat twice what I do, all her portions are massive and she eats an entire punnet of grapes or a whole melon everyday, because it's fruit and it's healthy), moderate alcohol consumption (I mostly only drink at at weekends instead of almost every day) or exercise (I run, swim, cycle and hill walk whereas they walk no further than round the shopping centre).

But, when trying to diet seriously they follow the type of diet that only allows you to eat miserable unsatisfying foods like fat free cottage cheese salad and yogurts, which explains the uncontrolled craziness when someone has been to the chip shop.

I just ignore the comments now and leave them to it.

I would just go with something like "Are you aware you always comment on what I'm eating?"

It might be worth noting if she's very overweight and trying to deal with that, she could well have got slightly obsessed with food and particularly what you are eating (as a thinner person).

IMO the size difference between you is possibly the issue here..

How about something jokey to embarrass her into stopping the commentary like 'Wow, are you the food police'?

I don't think it's fair to call her morbidly obese, and to be honest I can't believe no one else has commented on it.
She may be overweight but you are not her doctor and you are not in possession of the qualifications or knowledge to make that judgement on her weight.

You can very often see that someone is morbidly obese just by looking at them.

You don't need to be a doctor

Just look at your watch and write it down in a special notebook everyday, with the time.
Ask her to repeat it if you "didn't hear her, to make sure you've got it right". She'll soon stop.

Say you're making a book of boring office conversation or something.

ImNotDancing, sorry, but of course you can tell by looking of someone is overweight, obese or morbidly obese.
It's not rocket science.

You just need eyes.

I get this a lot too but mainly because I'm always eating a panini or something 'fattening' instead of the salads and carrot sticks all the other women are tucking in to. I just let it wash over me tbh, I can't get worked up about it as it's really not important in the big scheme of things.

Take some laxative chocolates in to work, and offer her some.

I really don't think you need to have attended medical school to recognise morbid obesity.

Something like a breezy 'gosh why are you so fascinated by my lunch'

This is a good starting point. Don't be aggressive or annoying saying it. Asking in puzzlement is best.

*annoyed not annoying.

This kind of behaviour is not the preserve of the overweight. I think it is indicative of food issues and disordered eating, usually.

My mother is very slender and always has been. She does this constantly: labelling foods or herself good/bad/naughty/indulgent; having an excessive interest in the food choices and intake of others; judging people based on their weight. It makes me feel incredibly sad.

She sounds like she is a bit obsessed because of her weight issues. Try to have some sympathy for her as she is probably really unhappy.

I've worked in an office with people with these weird food obsessions. They have a couple of lettuce leaves for lunch and comment on the size of my cheese sandwich. They then fill up on chocolate/coke all afternoon (I obviously wouldn't be so rude as to comment on that)

I blame the crap health advice we have been getting since the eighties about natural healthy food being bad and it being better to eat processed 'low fat' rubbish.