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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

461 replies

Notthinkingclearly · 29/04/2016 12:44

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

OP posts:
JenniferYellowHat1980 · 29/04/2016 20:21

YABU, that's clearly a bridesmaid dress. Mumsnet has changed!

neonrainbow · 29/04/2016 20:23

You can't let her wear that it's a bridesmaid dress!!

RaeSkywalker · 29/04/2016 20:24

It's a lovely dress! I hope she has a great day wearing it.

P.S I've just shown the photo to DH and said "what would you have thought if a 6 year old non-bridesmaid had worn this to our wedding? Would you have been offended?"

He said "why on earth would I be offended by a 6 year old?!" and is now looking at me with an expression on his face like Hmm at the thought that anyone would worry about this on their wedding day.

CalleighDoodle · 29/04/2016 20:25

Id say it is a holy communion dress.

MegBusset · 29/04/2016 20:25

Ah, it's a lovely outfit and anyone would have to be crazy or a Mumsnetter to object to it. Hope everyone has a fab day and your DD enjoys her princess dress :)

lamusic · 29/04/2016 20:28

I'd say it's a party dress

PoppieD · 29/04/2016 20:31

I'd say definete bridesmaid/flower girl - and was there not a thread recently where adult bridesmaid was going to dress her daughter up in a 'special' dress and mumsnet was appalled?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/04/2016 20:41

Notthinking - could you check with the bride? A quick phone call vs the risk of a big fall-out?

RaeSkywalker · 29/04/2016 20:43

Poppie if it's the one I'm thinking of, the OP on that thread had bought her DD and the 2 DDs of her friend identical dresses to wear as a "surprise" to another friend at her wedding. So 3 children would all wear the same dress.

I think Mumsnet was right to be Hmm at that one.

NeedACleverNN · 29/04/2016 20:45

That's a lovely party dress

PoppieD · 29/04/2016 20:48

Ah Rae you're right! 3 matching would def be a bit Hmm! Think best thing to do is ask bride as others have said.

dillydotty · 29/04/2016 20:49

Before I saw the dress I thought no but after seeing it I have changed my mind. It looks like a party dress, not the full bo peep dress. That should be fine, especially if you put her in sandles or shoes that match the cardie.

LordoftheTits · 29/04/2016 20:50

I would say that's quite clearly a flower girl dress and wouldn't choose it for a wedding. There are a million other dresses out there.

A4Document · 29/04/2016 20:51

I think it's too bridesmaidy TBH.

pollylovespie · 29/04/2016 20:54

Spot on floisme. Only absolute idiots would tut and mutter that a little girl's dress was too bridesmaidy. I despair sometimes.

pollylovespie · 29/04/2016 20:55

To clarify, tut and mutter at the wedding.

HandWash · 29/04/2016 21:00

It's a beautiful dress OP!

I still didn't understand how anyone could be pissed off about a 6yo wanting to wear a pretty dress. I just don't get it. Confused

CodyKing · 29/04/2016 21:00

No I think people tut at the parents -

It just looks like DD wanted to be a BM and wasn't picked -

I dislike those dresses - look uncomfortable for little girls.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/04/2016 21:02

Hopefully I won't upset anyone on the day.

Why take the chance OP?

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 29/04/2016 21:03

A party dress? No. Pretty much all high street bridesmaid dresses for little girls are ivory and netted. That isn't a party dress and anyone who notices kids' outfits at all would realise it's intended for a bridesmaid and think the OP was trying to make a point. Whether or not the OP is bothered by that is another thing. I would have an inward cringe and think OP was possibly being PA about her DD not being a bridesmaid but I wouldn't say anything. Why not just let her dress up in it seeing as it cost a tenner? DD of term wears her bridesmaid dresses to do colouring or play in the garden.

Floggingmolly · 29/04/2016 21:06

I agree, CalleighDoodle, it's a Communion dress. It's not a pretty party dress; it's very definitely for an occasion such as bridesmaid at a wedding.
Everyone will assume she's a bridesmaid, and think you're a bit of a saddo when you explain that she's not; you just dressed her up to look like one.

openthecurtains · 29/04/2016 21:33

I think it's fine.

MegBusset · 29/04/2016 21:33

"Everyone will assume she's a bridesmaid, and think you're a bit of a saddo when you explain that she's not"

Really, they won't. Most sane people won't even notice what a random child is wearing at a wedding!

CodyKing · 29/04/2016 21:36

Really, they won't. Most sane people won't even notice what a random child is wearing at a wedding!

They do - just too polite to comment Grin

TendonQueen · 29/04/2016 21:38

For the hundredth time, ask the bride. Say 'I've got this dress for DD but I don't want it to end up being too close to what bridesmaids or anyone else is wearing, so just let me know and I'll put her in one of her other pretty dresses if it's too much'.