To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

[Notthinkingclearly]

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

Omg this thread. I can feel the joy draining out of me having revisited it.

Thank goodness Ive made it through life this long and NEVER once experienced brides and guests who've given a monkeys about what young children have worn to a wedding. Long may it continue.

I don't care what a small child wears to a wedding.

I don't care if an adult cares what a small child wears to a wedding.

If a small child cares what another small child wears to a wedding then I think their parents should be having a word.

If that makes me socially unaware then I consider it a blessing.

And the solution to attention seeking behaviour is simple: don't pay any attention.
I learned that from Mumsnet.

Has someone mentioned just dying the dress purple or something?

Yes trunk. OP is conveniently ignoring all reasonable suggestions and is popping up now and again to fuel the debate...

I think you're stupid to go and hunt out information about the wedding and yet not 'think the dress will be too much of an issue'. Just ask the bride and stop being rude by assuming. Is it that hard to speak to someone these days with FB/Twitter/mobiles? I mean seriously? Woman up love.

Wow, quite a few of you really need to get a grip ffs!

Yes, I think it's the ones who cannot countenance their little darlings not being the centre of attention for one day.

My DD is getting married this summer, she has 2 small bridesmaids, one of whom is the child of close family friends. Her Grandma is my best friend, I am godmother to the bridesmaid's mother. Mum and Grandma have been out and bought the younger DD the same dress. I think they have massively overstepped the mark; we won't fall out about it, it's not that serious in the scheme of things, but I am shocked and a tad disappointed in them. I think my friend's adoration and obsession with her granddaughters has overcome her judgement, and her desire to see them cutely dressed up the same on the day has allowed her to think it's ok to steal some attention and limelight for them. It really isn't ok. DD isn't impressed, not because she is a selfish bridezilla, because it's her fucking wedding, she didn't choose a toddler bridesmaid and it will look like she has one. It isn't nice for anyone to be selfish, and however cute your children at someone else's wedding it really isn't all about them.

Completely agree with ClaireHW about the sensitivities involved. I'd no more allow my daughter to go to a wedding dressed as a BM (if she wasn't one) than I'd go dressed as a bride. The idea of it makes me cringe.

People who are comparing it to kids in fancy dress or whatever are missing the point.

What sort of wedding do you people go to where guests roll their eyes at young child dressed in her 'pretty' dress? Really should get a life of their own.

If toddler doesn't toddle down the aisle behind the bride she ain't a bridesmaid. Just a little girl in a dress like her big sister's.
She won't be the 'centre of attention', she'll be a cute child at a wedding.
Your 'best friend' the grandmother isn't 'stealing some attention and limelight for them'. She and their mother probably went to buy the bridesmaid her dress and one said 'Oh look, they've got it in toddler's size too!'
Oh dear, your DD on what should be one of the happier days of her life, 'her fucking wedding', will be 'put out' that someone may think she has a toddler bridesmaid.
Get over yourself while you still have a best friend.

charlie that is completely different, she has gone out and bought the same dress on purpose. Still wouldn't bother me though as she won't be a bridesmaid , won't carry flowers, follow the bride down the aisle or pose in bridal party photos. So, not a bridesmaid then.

At posh English "breakfast" weddings (the expression alone makes me chuckle), it strikes me that all children under 7/8 wear flowergirl style dresses, ballet length. No-one mistakes them for the flowergirls, if there are any.

Come to think of it, the men wear morning suits and no-one confuses them with the bridal party!

A rare case of the well-heeled being spot on

We'll just have to agree to differ Beezie, I think going out and buying the dress to match was a lapse of judgement. And my DD won't be 'put out' on the day, she just thinks it's cheeky, and she's right. There are hundreds of toddler dresses to choose from, there is no good reason for her to match the bridesmaids other than a little bit of muscling in.

or pose in bridal party photos. Wanna bet??

Haven't got time to rtft but I'd be delighted if a relative dressed their little girl up.

People get so up themselves over weddings

Come to think of it, at my beach wedding last year my cousin dressed so over the top she looked more bridal than I did.

I didn't give a shite!

To be honest when I got married I wasn't bothered by what my guests wore, everyone looked lovely including my sister in law who's dress was same colour as my bridesmaids dresses I didn't mind! Guess I was an easygoing laid back bride! I'd let her wear the dress little girls are meant to wear pretty dresses!

I had to spend £80 on floral circles for my two flower girls as my aunt was insisting on bringing her very spoilt DD in her communion dress that was a bridesmaid dress. She even laughed that her DD will be mistaken for a bridesmaid .

Of course she should wear it. Not being funny but if the bride feels upstaged by a 6 year old little girl then she has serious problems........go for it and let your little girl feel like a princess xx

How rude!!

For gods sake......some people need to get a life!! It's a little girl for gods sake!!

Really wouldn't bother me at all :) though I'm a soft touch and pretty much every small girl coming to our wedding is now a flower girl with a dress... However personally myself would not stick my daughter in a bridesmaid dress when not a bridesmaid as I would be embarrassed in case I offend anyone.

My nan wore white dress to mums wedding and grandad white suit and they are doing the same at mine LOL they are funny I joked to my partner about sending her down the aisle with a veil over her face a d he could marry her instead ;)

Lorraine - as I've said earlier, if a bride is going to be upset by a little guest in a bridesmaid-y dress, she may be u reasonable enough to make a scene at the wedding or cause upset afterwards - I wouldn't want to risk my child being caught up in that.