AIBU to think that DH - a teacher - could take a day off work?

[BackAche21]

I have been a SAHM for 2 yrs after redundancy and now I have got myself a job interview, which happens to fall on the day that DS (4) has an allergy challenge in hospital. DH says he can't take the day off teaching as his Y12s are close to AS exams, and he is head of department so it looks bad, plus notoriously stingy Headteacher may not give permission. But aside from permission (there were sickies in my day) he doesn't even want to ask. I don't know what solution he thinks is possible.

I am already asking the hospital if they can change the date - but we've already changed it once owing to DS being unwell - and they might not let us change it again. It won't be an option to ask potential employer to change the date as they have a whole load of obstacles lined up for candidates on the day, involving meeting other people too.

IMHO it puts me in an impossible situation as I don't think anyone other than a parent can really do the hospital gig, and our family needs me to get a job. before redundancy all sick children etc fell to me to take time off work, and I feel like he's just staking this ground again - his teaching time is untouchable. Makes me mad, but AIBU?

[BoffinMum]

I got a reaction during my allergy test (very rare, as they use miniscule amounts of the thing you are allergic to) and needed more steroids to open my throat up again, and had to be there a long time while it all calmed down.

The hospital staff were very interested and almost pleased to have an extreme reaction from a non-peanut allergy, and said 'Do come back if it happens again, we don't get many of these'. Er, guys, first up I am not doing this for your entertainment, and second, don't you think I might just rush into A and E again if I can't breathe properly????!!!!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

True boffy

Just thought may be a way round it

So op - what are you going to do?

[merrymouse]

What if you were both teachers - would your children only be able to go to hospital appointments in the holidays?

I know teachers aren't supposed to take holiday in term time, but this is to look after his child, it's not a jolly. What is going to happen when you have a job and your son is ill?

[purpleapple1234]

He should throw a sickie and take your son to the hospital -don't even involve senior management. Speaking as a teacher and a parent, it is obvious that the allergy testing should come first. Dare I say that the AS kids will be able to survive by themselves for a lesson. If the kids had been working hard all year through, then the lesson can't be that vital. If they haven't been, then let it be a learning experience that it is up to the kids to pass the exam not the teacher to bundle through them though at the last minute. If the DH is organised enough, then putting together independent work to be done while he is gone, should be no problem.

Has education become so pressurised and students/parents so entitled that a parent can't take their child to hospital? A little bit of humanity and empathy goes a long way.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Temp nannies are available when kids ill but parents have to work

Tho Obv a temp nanny shouldn't take to allergy hospital appointment

[YonicTrowel]

With an ill child, emergency dependent leave would be an option; the law views hospital appointments differently.

Hopefully the DH has now phoned the hospital and asked for thd appointment to be moved and this has been allowed!

[merrymouse]

You don't really want a temporary nanny or even just your normal nanny to take your child to a hospital appointment. This is a situation where you need a parent.

[millimat]

What happened, op?

[AHellOfABird]

Curious too!

[BackAche21]

As requested, an update from me, the OP.

The hospital DID offer me an alternative appointment so my DH never had to ask for time off, and I think it's safe to say that he still doesn't take time off from teaching, pretty much ever. He does all the appointments outside term time and almost all of the weeknight cooking, plus leaves the kitchen in tip top state. He also cleans all the shoes and sorts out the school bags the night before so he pulls his weight. However if one of the children was ill and our child cater couldn't cover it, yes it was me that would work from home.

When we eventually went to the hospital appointment, the food challenge at the clinic showed that my son did still have an allergy, so no salmon for him. He's since become a pescatarian

Finally, I went to the interview and I got the job! In fact, I've just left it after doing it for six years. So look out Mumsnet, and thanks for the advice and YANBUs!