AIBU to think that DH - a teacher - could take a day off work?

[BackAche21]

I have been a SAHM for 2 yrs after redundancy and now I have got myself a job interview, which happens to fall on the day that DS (4) has an allergy challenge in hospital. DH says he can't take the day off teaching as his Y12s are close to AS exams, and he is head of department so it looks bad, plus notoriously stingy Headteacher may not give permission. But aside from permission (there were sickies in my day) he doesn't even want to ask. I don't know what solution he thinks is possible.

I am already asking the hospital if they can change the date - but we've already changed it once owing to DS being unwell - and they might not let us change it again. It won't be an option to ask potential employer to change the date as they have a whole load of obstacles lined up for candidates on the day, involving meeting other people too.

IMHO it puts me in an impossible situation as I don't think anyone other than a parent can really do the hospital gig, and our family needs me to get a job. before redundancy all sick children etc fell to me to take time off work, and I feel like he's just staking this ground again - his teaching time is untouchable. Makes me mad, but AIBU?

[HuckleberryGin]

The teacher's unions are made up of the teachers. Too many don't want to stand up as they are worried for their jobs. Teachers are regularly vilified in the media, the last time there was strike action for example. So teachers keep quiet.

Unions can't just fly in and force heads to change. The problem is that there is no legal right to days off, for interviews, funerals, etc. But obviously in other jobs you can take annual leave. Some academy chains won't even talk with the unions to discuss terms and conditions like this.

[HuckleberryGin]

Schools are all very, very short of money too which doesn't help. Schools that used to let people out for a day now don't be a use of supply costs. It used to be normal to allow teachers moving to a new school a day to go to their new school for an induction. That isn't being allowed much any more.

[ilovesooty]

Since academies don't have to honour teachers' pay and conditions and don't have to recognise unions, once every school is an academy teachers will have even less ability to negotiate than they do now.

[TradGirl]

I don't recognise this extreme terror that teachers in England seem to experience but then the teachers I know are in Northern Ireland. They are entitled to a day for moving house, a day off if they are in the bridal party, 3 days for a bride / groom, 3 days leave for bereavement and funeral attendance of a member of the household or immediate family, a day for less close relatives.

Funnily enough, teaching is a highly desirable and competitive occupation in Northern Ireland with far more excellent candidates than posts. Spot the difference with teaching in England?

[maddy68]

I'm a teacher and I know I couldn't take a day off for that, and certainly nit at exam time!
Cancel the hospital appointment and rearrange

[gabbyevs]

so what happens when dh is ill or they both start working-

i thought it was against the law to stop you attending to your childrens needs because of work

[HuckleberryGin]

gabbyevs the law only allows you to emergency unpaid leave for dependents- long enough to put other care in place. Therefore you aren't actually entitled to time off for the whole time they are ill, but to arrange other care for them. Where this other are is supposed to come from is beyond me.

[noblegiraffe]

Given that the government said that family members could step up and do childcare in order to support the new junior doctor contract, it's clear where they think the other care is supposed to come from.

[gabbyevs]

thanks good point-it sad these days that people are too afriad to even ask for time off

[YonicTrowel]

Gabby, the gov.uk site specifically excludes hospital appointments as a cause for emergency dependants' leave. They suggest parental leave, which is taken in blocks of one week, instead. Which is obviously a lot worse for the school than one planned day off!

[MrsGuyOfGisbo]

Much harder for people in no-teaching jobs - they have to take annual leave at a time when others in their office etc do not. At least in teaching there is the option of the school hols.

[BoffinMum]

Yes, MrsGuy is utterly out of touch.

[GreenMarkerPen]

...if the nhs gives you that option. all too often it's 'take this appointment or we will not offer a new one or one many many weeks/months away'

[YonicTrowel]

"Much harder for people in no-teaching jobs - they have to take annual leave at a time when others in their office etc do not. At least in teaching there is the option of the school hols."

I've always been able to take leave in school holidays and never worked in teaching, so not sure what this is about.

As no non teaching job allows enough holiday to cover all school vacations, most people use a combination of holiday clubs/family and annual leave so you'd bvunlucky to not be allowed any of the 13 weeks off!

[MrsGuyOfGisbo]

...at being described as 'out of touch' by someone who pompously gives themselves the username 'boffinmum' presumably a wannabe 'academic' - yeah, right.
As it happens I work every day with school Cover Managers who have the unenviable task of ensuring that every class is covered, as they cannot be left without a teacher. Some schools use 'Cover Supervisors' as babysitters, but there are still very many that haven't been - yet - reduced to that. The Cover Manager has to keep costs to a minimum, so teachers who don't try it on have to cover those who do - a lot of resentment for that reason. There is no 'free money' available - every cover costs, hence why only staff illness or genuine emergencies are acceptable reasons for being absent, as other teachers on here have said ( as opposed to people who clearly have no idea what really happens in schools).

[YonicTrowel]

MrsGuy, what was objectionable was your implication that no one without 100% infallible cover for childcare matters should go into teaching. It is "out of touch" to consider this reasonable.

[TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece]

Two teachers, no relatives. Clearly shouldn't have had children

[YonicTrowel]

Of course school budgets are under pressure; all budgets are. Ultimately, a man who has not has to cover his child's health needs for years on end has been an advantage to his employer. The "reality" in (some) schools may well be as you say: that doesn't mean it can't be criticised.

And commenting on someone's user name when yours implies marriage to a fictional character is odd, hmmm?

[ElllieB1]

Im a teacher and my children come first, I normally arrange appointments in school holidays, but in this instance there is notice and it's unavoidable. He may only need a morning or afternoon session off. That really isn't unreasonable. He can plan and set work for his classes, it is hard sometimes to take leave when teaching, especially during exam season, but it can't always be helped,

[HuckleberryGin]

Tea hers don't get paid for the 13 weeks holiday. Well for the 5.6 weeks statutory. But above that is unpaid. So maybe people in other jobs could take unpaid leave.

I'm in a 9-5 job now and find it much easier to manage having two small children than I ever did in teaching.

[user789653241]

ElllieB, in this instance, the child can go into hospital healthy, and as a worst case scenario, can end up in anaphylaxis. Allergy challenge doesn't work like just taking morning or afternoon off. Normally takes at least half a day, if nothing happened.
That's why this case is completely different from parents taking a day off for dc's hospital appointment.

[GreenMarkerPen]

how about h takes dc to hospital in the morning and op takes over after the interview?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Tricky. We all know teachers can't take time off during term time. If they ask it goes against them - but esp so at exam times

Allergy app are important but can be moved. What happens if your child was poorly that day and couldn't do the app? They would get a new app.

If need be ring them and say dc has s&d 2 days before app. They can then give to another family

Schools rarely give time off for a pre planned event - compared to an emergency

All 3 are important

Dh job
Dc health
Op interview

Tbh if all 3 can't be budged /changed - I would cancel hospital all and pay for private allergy tests at a time that suits if new app couldn't be for for months

Tho if op did get a job then needs to be a serious discussion of what would happen if children ill

Unless Employ a nanny - they will have ill kids - compared to cm or nursery

And if no hospital app - who would be /was having the dc while at interview?

[YonicTrowel]

Blondes, as the child is 4, she/he may be in reception. The appointment has been cancelled once owing to the DC being ill, I can see why OP would worry about lying and doing that again

[BoffinMum]

Blondes, if this is a hospital-based test for a child I doubt you would be able to find any private facility prepared to do them, TBH. It's a bit like occupational therapy for kids - practically non-existent in the private sector.