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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to buy my neice's first birthday cake?

109 replies

AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 14:40

I know a great cake maker and placed an order but when she found out, her mum wanted me to cancel and to choose one herself.

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 27/04/2016 15:30

Another mn faux pas - not reading the full thread Grin

Pixienott0005 · 27/04/2016 15:30

Woops ive just read the rest! Grin

WindPowerRanger · 27/04/2016 15:31

In two minds. I was an aunt for years before having my own, and I absolutely loved it, and my nieces and nephews. A bit of over-enthusiasm should be tolerated, I think.

But at the same time, my SIL was something else. It was as though DS was more hers than mine or DH's. She was the sun around which the little DS planet should orbit, we were just boring old asteroids out on the fringes of the galaxy. Sadly for her DH and failed to register our manifest duty to get out of the way and give her a starring role, so she opted out entirely.

allowlsthinkalot · 27/04/2016 15:35

You sound hard work, OP.

I had to read on to see what you felt was wrong with the card message.

YANBU about the cake if you want to make it yourself but if you plan to order one who cares who 's paid for it?

And YABU to have some kind of hierarchy of relatives. Grandparents more important than Aunties? It's your dc who get to decide who's important to them, not you. And is it about being important or about doing the best for your dc?

Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 15:38

allow if you're making time for them, of course some relatives get priority. And at her age, it's not her decision!

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 27/04/2016 15:40

My mum made my first birthday cake. How entitled is that?

I don't know what my Auntie thought of it all, she was only 7 herself at the time.

Valentine2 · 27/04/2016 15:42

Why did you do it in reverse ? It's kinda obvious. But I will probably ask the SIL to bring the cake and freeze it. The more the better. 😍

Pigeonpost · 27/04/2016 15:43

Urgh, hate reverses. So tiresome. I'd have been sympathetic if it was posted the right way round, now you've just got my back up. Especially with the card comment. Your daughter IS her beautiful niece. So what?

rwilkinson84 · 27/04/2016 15:45

Don't know why some people are flaming you for this OP. Your SIL didn't ask you if she could get the cake she just assumed that you'd be ok with?

Seems like you handled it well by telling her that you were going to sort it out cause to me it does sound a bit off her just going ahead.

Pinkheart5915 · 27/04/2016 15:45

I can Understnading why the mum wants to sort the cake.
I see you are the mum? It's a reverse thread so yanbu

LittleLionMansMummy · 27/04/2016 15:46

I suspect auntie has a habit of making everything about her, Pigeon, but could be wrong. There must be some history I think.

ouryve · 27/04/2016 15:53

YABU.

Fine to offer. Not fine to impose. It's your niece, not your own DD and your niece's mother is perfectly entitled to make her own choices for her own child.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/04/2016 15:53

I was on mum's side but the unnecessary reverse thread was just silly.

ouryve · 27/04/2016 15:55

And should have RTFT - or at least the first 10 posts!Blush

PansyGiraffe · 27/04/2016 15:57

Cake smashes are totally a thing, yes? Wink

notonyurjellybellynelly · 27/04/2016 16:03

Whats wrong with a card that says congratulations on the birth of my beautiful niece?

paxillin · 27/04/2016 16:17

No biggie. My DSis saw the first step, my DMum made the 1st Birthday cake.

Doesn't make me or our bond less special at all.

Scholes34 · 27/04/2016 16:46

No, can't remember what any of the children's first birthday cakes were like. I do know that I made them myself though, so they will have tasted good.

Gwenci · 27/04/2016 17:11

At least your DD's aunt shows an interest in her neice.

My DS's uncle didn't bother to send a card either on the birth of his nephew nor for his first birthday. Still grates.

Saying that, YANBU, first birthday cake is your prerogative.

PotteringAlong · 27/04/2016 17:16

"Congratulations on the birth of my beautiful niece".

How is this a problem? How is this 'form'?

My sister must hate me Grin

Stvalentinescansuckit · 27/04/2016 18:56

I wouldn't be happy if my sisters did this to me pick your own cake and have a lovely first birthday with your LO

I had my daughters paternal nan announce my birth on FB by saying 'today was a very special day - I became a nanny' I know it's silly but it still bloody annoys me!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/04/2016 19:08

So,e people that send a card saying congratulations on the birth of MY what ever may get annoyed because it's a ownership statement or a lack of acknowledgement that the baby is the parents child.

Or something like that

MarthaCliffYouCunt · 27/04/2016 19:14

I had my daughters paternal nan announce my birth on FB

FB was around when you were born? Are you very young?

Stvalentinescansuckit · 27/04/2016 19:47

Haha her birth* I don't think my nan even knows what FB is!

Stvalentinescansuckit · 27/04/2016 19:50

I don't know why I mentioned my nan, I'm just going to slowly back into a quiet corner and have a Wine

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