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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to buy my neice's first birthday cake?

109 replies

AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 14:40

I know a great cake maker and placed an order but when she found out, her mum wanted me to cancel and to choose one herself.

OP posts:
Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 14:52

Little oooh an unreasonable reverse. And I went to such great lengths to hide it too! :p

OP posts:
Eva50 · 27/04/2016 14:54

Well, it wouldn't bother me. I would be very happy for friends and family to provide birthday cakes, shoes, visits to Santa etc, whether first or subsequent but some people get very het up about these things. I don't get the angst.

curren · 27/04/2016 14:54

Yanbu to want to offer.
Ywbu to just do it and assume their parents would be OK with this.

Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 14:54

Mitzy it really stood out from all the usual 'your daughter's that people write... I look forward to seeing the birthday card.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 27/04/2016 14:56

Is this the Mner who is afraid her SIL is going to steal her baby?

LittleLionMansMummy · 27/04/2016 14:57

Is Auntie quite... excitable op? A bit like a Labrador puppy?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/04/2016 14:58

It depends, if you want to bake it yourself then yanbu but if you are just ordering it then i would tell her what I wanted and let her off to pay for it Grin

PartiallyStars · 27/04/2016 14:58

The cake thing is annoying but I honestly can't see a problem with 'Congratulations on the birth of my beautiful niece', I would have been happy to receive that from any of my sisters or my sister in law and would have thought nothing of it apart from "aah". Well, I would have thought that's weird, obviously, because I have only had boys, but apart from that...

Monstamio · 27/04/2016 15:01

RudeElf I thought the same! I'm a little disappointed it turned out to be a reverse. I was hoping the SIL had come on to put her side of the story across about the swimming and toys.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 27/04/2016 15:01

Yabu to make out that the unreasonable view would come from a less educated person who can't spell. I think she sounds naive and while it's irritating, you're waiting to sink the claws in.

Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 15:02

Eva50 Some things you just look forward to as part of the being-a-parent experience.

Maybe with the second one I'd be more inclined to say fuck it, you take them to get their jabs done. And while you're at it, you can go to the parent's evening. No more PFB.

Some people have nannies to do all these things.

OP posts:
Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 15:03

goneto it was a typo! not a comment on her spelling! I'm not a method actor.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 27/04/2016 15:04

Hmm nasty dig at parents with nannies

MooPointCowsOpinion · 27/04/2016 15:04

YANBU auntie needs to wind her neck in.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 27/04/2016 15:06

YABU to suggest parents who have nannies don't care about their kids' cakes or birthdays or immunisations though.

You don't build yourself higher by tearing someone else down and all that...

Ludways · 27/04/2016 15:06

I don't see buying a cake as part of the parent experience but each to their own. Wouldn't have bothered me. The card message was lovely, I'd like that.

Children have relationships with lots of people in their lives, not just the mother.

That said, you're not wrong to speak up if it's something you wanted to do.

Aprille · 27/04/2016 15:06

yanbu.

I like baking and I've become interested in cake decorating too and love to make themed cakes for my DC birthday. I didn't get to do his Christening cake because my mother pre-empted me and ordered it and I was a bit sad about that.

Furiosa · 27/04/2016 15:07

Was the nannies comment nasty? Confused

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 27/04/2016 15:08

We have a nanny. But I still did 1st birthday party, first hair cut, first shoes, first day at school... Hmm

RudeElf · 27/04/2016 15:08

I thought so. Suggesting people with nannies dont take their DC for jabs or parents evening or get their birthday cakes.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/04/2016 15:08

I like her more than you already OP

Original poster
AbernathysFringe · 27/04/2016 15:10

RudeElf no, but who is she? We should hang.
LittleLion no she's not at all. If it was in that spirit it would be amusing and cute
Partially I guess it bugged me because his side of the family were not very known to me at that point. It felt a little like territory marking.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 27/04/2016 15:10

Where i'm from everyone pitches in when it comes to DCs. My mum will offer to get X for first birthday, an aunt will offer to pay for Y, my granny will buy first shoes etc. Its all very welcome tbh. And i now offer the same for the next generation.

Magicpaintbrush · 27/04/2016 15:10

OP, I would have been fuming if somebody else had ordered my daughter a cake for any of her birthdays, let alone her first one ever. Totally not her place, that is for the parents to choose and organise. OMFG. How could she not see she was overstepping the mark there??

Furiosa · 27/04/2016 15:10

Oh I didn't read it like that.