To want to buy my neice's first birthday cake?

[AbernathysFringe]

I know a great cake maker and placed an order but when she found out, her mum wanted me to cancel and to choose one herself.

[RudeElf]

Ahh so it is you. Ok. I'm out.

[TurnOffTheTv]

You're not really getting people on side OP. Starting a reverse thread then being rude about parents with a nanny.

[OnlyLovers]

I like reverses! I think they're an interesting thought experiment. And YANBU, OP.

[Furiosa]

Rude who is it?

[blindsider]

"I'm the mum."

Ooh you crafty minx Abernathy

[RudeElf]

The MNer who is terrified of her SIL taking her daughter and running off with her swimming and buying her toys.

[Furiosa]

OK

I feel so out of the loop on MN.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

I like aunties. They're generally a good sort.

[Couchpotato3]

It's fine for other people to pitch in, organise and pay for 'firsts', but ONLY if the parents are OK with it, and it's the polite and kind thing to ask them first. Also to be prepared to take "no" for an answer, if that's what comes back. Any other approach is U, IMHO.

[AbernathysFringe]

Must use more emoticons...
Nannies comment not nasty. Just putting other angles out there.


I've always made time for his side of DCs family as much as my own. That said, I don't think aunt is as big a deal as grandparents.

[AbernathysFringe]

Rude what? Who? I'm really not. Give me the link, I want to read it! I rarely post on MN.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I bake ds's cakes now but I'm shit with decorating them so I ask dsis to do that as she's far more creative than me. Oddly his first cake was the one I didn't think too much about (I bought it from Tesco) as the whole occasion felt more important to me than just one part of it. I too come from an 'all pitch in and help' family, but the important thing is that they wait to be asked, or ask me first and don't make assumptions.

[Anniegetyourgun]

I think the point is, it's lovely for interested relatives to offer to do things like ordering birthday cakes, organise parties etc. The clue, though, is in the word offer.

[thenappyslayer]

It's a cake......
Maybe you could have two.
Whats wrong with two cakes?
No such thing as too much cake....
Her one can be the "main event"
Yours can go next to it.
Lord.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I very much like the idea of two cakes... I always think birthdays should be as much about three mum as the child. Therefore a cake for me and a cake for my child works well for me.

[BillBrysonsBeard]

There must be history here, the card is fine. My SIL always says "How's my gorgeous nephew?" It's lovely.

[shinynewusername]

YANBU about the cake but I don't get the problem with the birth card, TBH. She probably thought you'd enjoy the idea of your new baby being part of a wider family. It's pretty paranoid to interpret as meaning "It's all about me as the aunt"

GPs, aunts, MILs just can't win: half AIBU threads are to moan about their lack of interest in DC, the other half are complaining about interference.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

My child's first birthday, I was smugly and loudly telling the guests how my precious baby had never eaten chocolate and would not for a very long time to come, hearing sniggers I turned around to find my baby, using her hands to scoop up sticky chocolate cake and stuff it in her mouth as fast as possible
You are the parents, if it important to you, you choose the cake. She sound besotted with your daughter though and that is a good thing as long as you reign her in a bit if she goes too far.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

And there goes my phone again insisting I mean 'three' instead of 'the'!

[AbernathysFringe]

Annie yup.

If she gets married, shall I rock up with the wedding cake?

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Wedding cakes are expensive. I'd have loved for someone to have taken that particular chore off my hands.

[Pixienott0005]

Hang on...you just went ahead and placed an order? Without asking your nieces mother if she was ok with her first birthday cake being chosen by you? Why would you think it's ok for you to do it. You clearly think it's so important to YOU, well imagine how important and exciting it is to, HER MOTHER.

Back off.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Ah Pixie.............