To ask DH not to use overly formal language when speaking to me

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Two such words that he just drops into "casual" conversation when speaking to me are "hitherto" and "in perpetuity". I feel sometimes like he's talking to me as if we were discussing a legal case! I find it too formal. Most of time he's fine but using seemingly legal/formal language with me just makes my skin crawl. I've mentioned it and how it makes me feel and he thinks I'm being unreasonable. AIBU?

I hasten to add, there's a difference between using unusual but widely understood language and being s pompous twat and trying to outsmart people.

I love using unusual words and try to slip them into conversation with the kids at home if I can. I want them to have a wide vocabulary and understand trickier and less commonplace terms even if they don't use them. Don't care if it makes me sound poncy.

Yes, I did do a bit of late night mangling of the English language, there, Badlad

Clearly, after some consideration, his banishment is retrospective :)

Ludways I hasten to add did you read the thread😂

As far as I am concerned most of the examples given on this thread are pretty inocuous compared to some of the high brow terminology/use of language that appears in threads on here. I would consider Mumsnet a place where fairly informal conversations are taking place yet many people display fantastic use of the English language and it mainly adds to the conversations in most instances.

Yabvu if that's just the way he speaks. Asking someone to change their vocabulary is fine if the words they are using are offensive. Otherwise it's not.

shovetheholly given that you just used the word "nascent" on an Internet chat forum I suspect that there is quite a high threshold before you would consider your DH's language to be pompous .

One of my favourite things about MN is that it's users write so well. Other forums make my eyes bleed.

Aaaargh. Its users. Bloody autocorrect!

I used to be an immigration officer. I've been known to ask "what was the purpose of your visit?" to friends who've told me about their trip abroad.

DH has to rein me in sometimes when I meet people with foreign born spouses. . Polite questions very quickly become "how did you meet X? Was it on the internet?" followed by "have you travelled overseas before?", at which point, DH hauls me off to the side for a quick talking to.

Make up a 'wank word bingo' sheet.

Every time he says one of the words on the sheet, shout 'bingo!' and cross it out ostentatiously. Give yourself a treat when you get a full house.

OH GOD I think I am going to do that with my 8yo. Every time he stamps his feet, shouts, throws a tantrum...

He is the type who would stop misbehaving just so I couldn't eat cake without him. I think I have found a solution

I do this all the time and it drives DH up the wall. He thinks I always use a long word when a short one will do. I think our language is rich in vocabulary and I like to express myself with a range of words.

Everyone has foibles.

It can be cultural violence, can't it, too? I have to say when things weren't going well with my (then) husband, I did like to throw a word into the conversation that would discombobulate him. He prided himself on his vocab and would never have asked what I meant, so I'd try to phrase it in such a way that he had to answer a direct question without understanding it. I miss those days.

I am now determined to work 'Sesquipedalianism' into my conversation somehow. Thanks iklboo

My family take the piss out of me for how I can speak in two different ways.

There are the times I keep using long, formal words as I love the English language.

Then the other times I turn into a proper country bumpkin and end up saying "yer inna gonna be doin' that now are yer?"

Frumpet I ❤ The Church Mice books. I've still got my childhood copies that I know force on read to my offspring

Stoopid phone. Now not know. Doh.

figginz not that many years ago pregnant women were given an "expected date of confinement" and not "estimated date of delivery" - I imagine that's where your dad got it from

Post childbirth was called "lying in".

I enjoy language and semantics, and whilst not overly clever I think I have a reasonably broad vocabulary. My DDs are quite articulate too and DD3 aged 9 was reported to me by her new teacher as being 'refreshingly loquacious'!

Alley Of course I read it, if you read my reply you'd know I'd already said I like to use older more unusual language but still widely known, you understood 'hasten to add' no?

I just had to look up the etymology of sesquipedalian because of this thread. I was getting a bit confused by the sesqui bit, but it makes sense that it's from semi+que. The ped bit is from foot - foot and a half long.

(This is how my brain works, and it's because my whole family would have conversations like this.)

OP has said he's def started using it more since becoming a director so this language he's using is recent and not indicative of his normal way of talking.

So yes, I think he should listen to how the OP is feeling about his current use of language.

My ex-dp was a counsellor. I'd come home and mention a minor gripe about someone cutting me up and he'd be all 'So, how did that make you feel?'

Well Dr Freud, it made me feel like throwing a brick at their windscreen but after 15 seconds I got over it. Ex dp would look downcast and put his notebook away

My daughter is nine, and comes home telling me what she learned in English. I confess to not understanding (eg subordinate clauses). I'm educated to degree level, but my 'trendy' 1970's education was crap (in the same building, ironically,) so I never really learned grammar.

Picked most of it up since then - but never liked English as such.
Can manage to vary conversation to suit the audience, though, which is important in my view.

Completely agree with Gwen. I know someone who does this and it really grates. The real irritant in my case is that the words she uses are usually very very slightly less suitable for the situation, but in such a minor way that it is in itself distracting. I unwittingly find myself analysing every sentence trying to identify why the off-key word was off-key. A recent example: she described me as "witnessing" instead of "watching" something. There are times when "witnessing" would be a more appropriate word (and I end up thinking them over to myself) but this wasn't one (and I end up reflecting on why).

It's really fucking annoying!!!

Awwww. My ex & I would speak similarly.

Extra points if we could slip "notwithstanding" into a sext.

Jessie - hahahahaahaha! You're probably right .

I think it's repeated phrases that annoy me, rather than vocab. For example: DH's father will never ask you a question. Presumably because asking for information would put you in a position of inferiority. Instead, he makes statements at you that all start 'I take it that...'. So instead of saying 'What time's our train?' he says 'I take it that the train is at 9.30'. After a while, and in combination with a lot of other domineering behaviour, it feels very passive-aggressive. DH had also picked up the habit, though now never uses the phrase after much eye-rolling from me.