To ask DH not to use overly formal language when speaking to me

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Two such words that he just drops into "casual" conversation when speaking to me are "hitherto" and "in perpetuity". I feel sometimes like he's talking to me as if we were discussing a legal case! I find it too formal. Most of time he's fine but using seemingly legal/formal language with me just makes my skin crawl. I've mentioned it and how it makes me feel and he thinks I'm being unreasonable. AIBU?

My husband works for an American company. Sometimes he'll slip into Americanisms at home which I find really irritating. I usually tell him to stop being a penis and he snaps out of it.

DH can often come home from work and use terminology I'm confused at. He's barked instructions at me on occasion as well. A look from me reminds him he's at home though! I was very stressed last week and had spent 4 hours on Saturday doing something for work on the PC. He walked in and started gibbering. I was so caught up in what I was doing (and forget where I was) I put my hand up in a stop motion, and said "STOP, I'll listen to you in a second, Mrs Spring needs to finish this first!" like I do with the kids at school when they barge into my office . I went looking for him when I'd finished and found him looking forlorn in the kitchen. I'm apparently "scary"

God don't ever be in our house.

An engineer and a psychologist. Half the time we have to ask each other to dial down the tech speak and converse on a normal level.

Forgot not forget.

my language shows my education which means it's a mix of the gutter and the ivory tower. Same, I sometimes use big words! Possibly in different languages, if there isn't a decent word for it in English! Rather than stopping to congratulate myself, I'll stop to take the piss out of myself.

The DH and I both use work jargon and swap between his work jargon and mine. If I describe someone as a nominal, the DH knows I'm talking about a low level criminal type.

A guy at work once used the term recidivist about a child: he wasn't being ironic. Fortunately, I'd just done the crime and punishment topic and it's the same in French.

Another one whose DH has been known to spout corporate bollocks.
I find 'Piss off you pretentious wanker and speak to me normally' is the gentle nudge he needs.

I said recidivism today Gide. Also iterative and antediluvian. I'm not OP's DH, honest though I think we could be long lost siblings

I think it's quite quaint and lovely.

My OH is very formal, went to a well known boys boarding school, and has a very old fashioned way of speaking, almost 1920s. I find it quite endearing.

When I do this, DH says ,"Alright Madam Speaker, we've got the message". Sometimes he calls me Betty. As in Boothroyd. .

Some people are just that way. Both my parents are professors but my Dad bless him simply doesn't get what informal comminication means.

Today I what's apped him a photo of DS sitting up all in his own and said "only a week till my leave ends! Looking forward to work but will miss him too!"

To this my Dad replies -

"Dear (name), the photo of (DS name) has been taken very well. He is looking handsome. I have also noted what you communicated previously - that he is sitting on his own. Very soon he will surprise you with many achievements. I am confident about your rejoining work. I would also like to request from you a confirmation that the gift money I remitted for him has been duly received by you. Please inform me about the same. Love Dad"

jemappelle That's hilarious.

I'm of the George Orwell school of thought: never use a jargon, technical or foreign word when there is a simple English word will do just as well.

Using big words where simple ones will do or formal language where it isn't appropriate is usually a sign of chronic insecurity or a need to show off. It just screams, "look at meeeeee and acknowledge how clever and wordy I am."

This kind of writing and speaking doesn't impress anyone, it just serves as a barrier to clear communication. The only saving grace is that they'll almost always misuse or mispronounce one of their fancy words and their audience will see them for the pompus prats they are.

Both are normal words in our household. Not because we are overly formal simply because my dh enjoys language. Is your dh the same?

My dp can't talk about a storyline in a book without saying "story arc", which is surely just wanky.

With songs, he has to analyse them and discuss "the hook", whether they have one, how good it is.....etc.

Both of these make me want to slap him.

I'm a primary teacher and love language so I'll take any opportunity to use different words. Dh and children are not impressed when I go on to explain the words or check their understanding like I would do with the year 6 children I teach =) Apparently my attempts at broadening my family's vocabulary is an excellent soporific.

Yabu if it'd just the way he speaks. Why do I suspect if the genders were reversed in this one people would be saying something different. Otoh if it is to belittle you he is a dick just a very erudite one.

Oh, yes, he also drops that word 'sespeda.......' wotsit someone posted up thread into conversations.

Mind you, I said 'predilictions' the other day, but a) it was relevant and b) I don't say it all the time!

I naturally use long words and people comment on it sometimes! To me it's just what's in my head! I like in perpuity..impressed !

Two structural engineers in this house - we frequently stray into geek territory.

I did find my 8yo DD building a castle from giant jenga blocks at the weekend using my spirit level to make sure it was "proper"...

Ditto SocksRock my husband and I looked in with abject pride as our son who has ASD lined up his toys eyeing them in so accurately you couldn't do better with a total station. 😂

I speak civil service after a long day. It drives my dh mad. I get a bit 'Sir Humphrey' apparently, though in written communication I am surprisingly blunt.

I need to drag the dumpy out of the loft and teach her how to use it :-)

Love these examples. I'd laugh!

Oh ffs. I have a large vocabulary. I read an awful lot. I'm a teacher. I love that my kindle will tell me the meaning of a previously unknown word if I come accross one.

One of the TAs at work has been known to ask me what the hell the word I've just used means (truncated!) or to ask me the meaning of a word she doesn't know that she's heard elsewhere.

Dh uses a large vocab and we didn't really simplify things when talking to the children either.

DD1 gets accused of being 'posh' because she uses words her friends don't. And because she doesn't drop her hs or ts.

DH does this. Project Manager jargon, all the frigging time. I usually say don't go all manager-speak on me, I'm not your staff.

Then it usually degenerates into some sort of Monty Pythonesque "help, help I'm being repressed" lark

Mind you, I fear I may be as bad - a woman at a mother & toddler group once asked me if I had swallowed a dictionary. I can't remember what I even said, but I'm sure it wasn't that bloody high brow.