To ask DH not to use overly formal language when speaking to me

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Two such words that he just drops into "casual" conversation when speaking to me are "hitherto" and "in perpetuity". I feel sometimes like he's talking to me as if we were discussing a legal case! I find it too formal. Most of time he's fine but using seemingly legal/formal language with me just makes my skin crawl. I've mentioned it and how it makes me feel and he thinks I'm being unreasonable. AIBU?

I married a project manager too..
95% of the time he's wonderful, but occasionally he has to go to court for a week or spend time with barristers.
The last time he came back from one of these we were having a minor disagreement over something and he told me I needed to "recover myself from that position".
Laugh? I howled.

It's daft to ask someone to change their natural way of speaking, but if he's only started doing it since going up in the world at work, I'd suggest that, hitherto, he may find himself sleeping on the sofa, in perpetuity.

Dh has a degree in English and a post grad in wanky words. Really he does. actually can't remember what the post grad is but that's what I call it. I like words and wanky words.
Like a pp I'm Scottish and just as likely to be telling the same bum tae get oot the windae as I am using big words. It's not to show off and I can mostly moderate depending on who I'm talking to.
I also made an effort to clean up my words a bit when I had dc. My job was to teach them to talk properly. I'm sure they will do the same.
I also use words like fundamentally to the children they sometimes ask what things mean but I don't think that's bad. They have good vocabulary and it helps with writing stories at school.

It's daft to ask someone to change their natural way of speaking, but if he's only started doing it since going up in the world at work, I'd suggest that, hitherto, he may find himself sleeping on the sofa, in perpetuity.

There's no such thing as a 'natural way of speaking' no one 'naturally' speaks like a pompus windbag, language by its definition is learnt and learning how to communicate effectively and appropriately with the other party is a key part of this.

How about: "Don't be tedious, dear"
Nice and patronising :)
Works even better if you say his name instead of dear. Better still if his name is usually Chris or Alex and you say Christopher or Alexander.

I think it's a sign your husband enjoys language and I wouldn't try to change the way he speaks in too serious a way. Maybe gentle ribbing if he's going way over the top but otherwise it sounds quite lovely and charming to me!

"What is wrong with people talking properly?"

OP's DH isn't talking "properly". He's failing to use the right register for the context.

"You have to be really insecure about your own intelligence if you get so annoyed at people you're supposed to value using bigger words than you."

He's not necessarily using "bigger" words. He's using words that are only appropriate for formal written language and that are archaic in spoken language. It doesn't matter how big the word is. It's just inappropriate.

It depends what situation I'm in, and who I'm with, as to the vocabulary I use. I find my accent unintentionally changes slightly too.

DH occasionally spouts marketing/corporate speak (let's brainstorm what we're doing........ or my real hate 'on the same page' UGH), and is swiftly called an idiot.

I have a 'young man' I have long lusted after (we are both single) who is like this and speaks like he's just walked out of a period drama on the Beeb.

I find it incredibly sexy

Takes all sorts

I have a wide vocabulary. I was brought up to go and look things up if I come across things I don't know. I'm in my 40s and I still look things up every day. There is always something new to learn. Someone who doesn't have that same outlook on life isn't likely to be that close to me.

If people don't understand a word I use and ask, I will explain it (particularly as many of the people I work with don't have English as their first language - although they're not usually the ones who have a problem with my use of language.) If people don't let me know they don't understand and don't go and look it up, then they're the ones with the problem.

My phone just has an inexplicably weird and mangled vocabulary, going by all the garbage it autocorrected words to, and I've just fixed.

Jem - is your Dad Adrian Mole? :)

I remain, Sir...

I'd suggest that, hitherto, he may find himself sleeping on the sofa, in perpetuity.

I'm no expert, but should that be henceforth he may find himself sleeping on the sofa, having hitherto slept in the bed?

Anyway, OP, next time it happens offer him your most enthusiastic contrafibularities.

I'm with ebear. I have a very wide vocabulary and would be reet pissed aff if asked to stop using it.

Oh no - I love a big word me... ;)

I think that a colourful vocabulary is wonderful. Get over it :P

OP's DH isn't talking "properly". He's failing to use the right register for the context.

He's not necessarily using "bigger" words. He's using words that are only appropriate for formal written language and that are archaic in spoken language. It doesn't matter how big the word is. It's just inappropriate

This ^^ thanks Gwen

I have a wide vocabulary too, i just feel no need to crowbar needlessly elaborate words into my speech or written work. I see far greater merit in using simple, beautiful words with care. If there's a need to use a complex or obscure term because a plain English equivalent simply doesn't exist, I'll use it, but what possible reason can there be to use antediluvian (unless you're talking specifically about the period before the great flood) apart from to demonstrate you know the word antediluvian when out dated, old fashioned etc. would work far better.

If I were teaching an undergraduate seminar and I wanted to make a point about re-offending rates:

'Smith claims that attitudes to therapy in prison are hopelessly antediluvian and as a result the rate of recidivism remains high.'

The focus of a good proportion of the seminar group would shift to attempting to figure out what ' antediluvian' and 'recidivism' meant, rather than focusing on the point I was trying to put across: that Smith makes a link between outdated attitude to therapy in prison and re-offending on release.

I may well follow this up by introducing the term 'recidivism' as it is likely to crop up in other literature on the topic, but to use antediluvian in that context would just be fuelling my own ego to the detriment of the people I was speaking to.

Sorry, not RTFT yet, but I most certainly will!
Feeling quite joyous at the prospect 😂 Or should that be joyful? I have had a fucking horrendous few days and am now drowning my sorrows in vodka. Somebody stop me

I do have a tendency to speak like this, I must admit though I like nothing better than a right good bloody curse and I feel in good company here it's just me, I suppose.
I also talk "slang" most of the time when I'm not cursing like a navvy, it's the only way for me to relieve the sheer frustration that I feel on a daily/hourly basis but I do like to be "wordy".
I think I get it from my dad who was always telling DB and I to "look it up the dictionary"
except we CBA
My dc have inherited my love of language and I fell about laughing one day with pride when I heard ds age 6 begin a perfectly composed sentence with,
"Metaphorically speaking...."
And yes, he could explain himself perfectly
My joy knew no bounds when he recently said he felt "melancholy" about something or other, can't remember what right now
I asked him, oh what does that mean and he said, I feel all sad!
My work here is done stealth boast

My very lovely husband dictates emails he wants me to send for him in 19th century legal jargon!

Have now RTFT.
It's just as good as I had hoped!

You talking about me Dylan?

I don't teach undergraduates (thank fuck), I'm in criminal justice so recidivism is a commonly used word in my professional world.

I used antediluvian to describe an employer which readily agrees a range of flexible working practices for women, but turn it down flat for a man (my DH ). Yes, "outdated" might work, but I don't think it's as punchy in that context - I wanted to convey my outrage at the unfairness of the decision, and a degree of hyperbole is useful for doing this.

So I agree that context is important, but I'm not just a wanker!

I have no excuse for iterative though, it's just a word I use

I work at 111 and I find myself cutting dh off to get to the main point, completely rude but something I've had to do at work to make sure I'm not dealing with a life threatening illness.

He just gives me a face and carries on.

This thread reminds me of The Church mice books I read as a child

DH frequently forgets where he is and starts talking to me as though I am an employee , he gets short shrift and the more burnt sausages for tea !

I love words and will often use over-formal words in a slightly tongue-in-cheek way. Not joking exactly, just having a bit of fun and enjoying the variety and depth of our wonderful language. I have learnt to resist the urge to correct people's grammar, I'd be be pretty pissed off if they told me what words to use. And anyway, sometimes 'hitherto' is just the best word for the job.

'No one 'naturally' speaks like a pompus windbag'

Speak for yourself!