Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scouts Parade v family life

363 replies

ParadiseCity · 23/04/2016 15:57

My 11 yo is in scouts and tomorrow there is a St Georges parade through town. His leader told them all 'it's compulsory and you can't be excused unless you are dead or dying'. However, DS is reluctant and I just don't have the inclination to jolly him into it. I'm glad he does scouts but at that age I was a guide and remember how embarrassing the public parades were. I'm normally ultra supportive of all their activities and think that when you have committed to something you stick with it etc. But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

OP posts:
GabiSolis · 23/04/2016 18:10

I suspect pearly did mean to be so rude, yes! Grin

He or she will be well aware of what I meant by 'my girls', as in the girls in my pack, but he or she saw a chance to have a bit of a dig and has made themselves look a bit silly!

YouMakeMyDreams · 23/04/2016 18:11

I'm a cub leader. It's staggering the number of people that think I get paid for it. It is very frustrating when we give up our own time to plan and implement a full years programme and ask very little apart from attendance at these events and we really do keep them to a minimum and you get a handful turn up. I personally have spent the last two months juggling childcare for my own Dc's to make sure our regular nights happen because dh has been away with work.
Parades might not happen with a few kids missing but the nights don't go ahead without a few kids but if the leaders couldn't be arsed every week then these groups wouldn't happen.

SirChenjin · 23/04/2016 18:11

How can it be a big part of being a Scout if it only happens in England?

The other parts of the UK have their similar parades. They're expected to commit to going, as opposed to saying they CBA

HanYOLO · 23/04/2016 18:11

soupy [sighs back] My point was that if everyone decides they CBA or if even half of them do, there ain't no parade. I don't think kids should miss sports matches for scout parades if these are a prior commitment at the same time. This is not the case for the OP.

DS's scout leaders don't say it is compulsory, actually. That would piss me off a bit. But they do appreciate it if people make the effort.

OP you sound like you are run ragged (is there no partner around who can help tomorrow with any part of it? Can't he get a lift with a mate?). Sometimes doing everything is just too much. That's different from not being arsed, though.

Pearly PMSL at congratulating OP and her DS for his freethinking. She says he can't be bothered not that he's fundamentally questioning the meaning of participating in it.

Almostfifty · 23/04/2016 18:13

Magnum St George is the Patron Saint of Scouting, so with it being St George's Day, it's a double whammy in England.

I can't quite see my Scottish Scout Group agreeing to a parade celebrating the English Patron Saint...

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2016 18:14

"But kind of wish it could all be fun stuff and skip the boring dull parts that no one really wants to do..."

A perfectly reasonable attitude. But not one compatible with Scouts. Have you thought about him going to Youth Club instead?

Drinksforeveryone · 23/04/2016 18:18

Yep. Hw should go.

DS was in Beavers Cubs and scouts. He attended every parade and event unless he or I were ill or out of the country.

Lemonsole · 23/04/2016 18:18

It's once a year. Not a big ask.

He'll get a credit towards one of his awards for it.

It's the Movement's biggest public presence. We're usually hidden away on camp sites, and it's great to show our towns and cities what great kids we have in Scouting today.

Does kids good to do things sometimes because it's the right thing to do without being fun. They don't melt because they're a bit bored or wearing their school shoes on a Sunday. DH, DD & DS all in parade tomorrow.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 23/04/2016 18:18

Sir, my boys have been in Scouts all the way through and are Explorers (age almost 16 and 15) We don't have similar parades, never have.

They attend the local Remembrance day service (at the memorial, noy in church) to which they are invited and leaders are keen for them to attend, no-one makes it compulsory and there is a big attendance.

We are always appreciative of what the Scouts do and have supported and helped whenever we could or were asked. Both boys help out as young leaders too.

I just don't see how something like this can be compulsory in one part of the UK yet not even mentioned in the others. I think it's inappropriate for a secular organisation if i'm honest.

pearlylum · 23/04/2016 18:19

SirChenjin- no it's only English scouts that have nationalistic parades.

I am not trying to be rude, but I do think we need to question sometimes.

liinyo · 23/04/2016 18:19

Like others I think YABU. I am not a Royalist by any means, but youth groups like scouts are all about team work and commitment so I quite agree that includes doing the dull stuff as well as the fun stuff - for the kids and parents just as much as the very hard working and dedicated group leaders.

liinyo · 23/04/2016 18:21

Sorry, not Royalist, I meant I am not English.

HailGallaxhar · 23/04/2016 18:22

But how is parading putting anything back into the community? Surely there are much better ways of doing that.

LarrytheCucumber · 23/04/2016 18:22

Why does it have to be St George's Day v family life? We used to make parades part of family life, as do a lot of parents. We used to drop the child at the meeting point and then watch the parade. Sometimes there was space in the service for parents, but otherwise we would wait outside until they came out. On Remembrance Day there was always a good turnout because parents joined the uniformed organisations at the War Memorial. One year I even took part as a steward. And yes I did work full time. Lots of parents see it as another way of supporting their children.

Original poster
ParadiseCity · 23/04/2016 18:24

Thanks HanYOLO, yes I have to admit he is not questioning it on any deep and meaningful grounds Grin

No partner to help, as DH is a copper so already doing his bit for Queen and Country, also known as 'weekend of the back to back shit-shift' for those familiar with the shift pattern.

Well done whoever said their 11 yo does this that and the other under their own steam. My 11 yo has not reached that stage yet and there wouldn't be a bus that would help anyway. HTH right back atcha.

Right o. I think this is my plan.

  1. Make sure everything is ready.
  2. Email scout leader explaining may or may not make it.
  3. Wake up and hopefully not feel so tired.
  4. Do sports.
  5. See if there is time to do scouts.
  6. Not beat myself up if I am too tired.
OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 23/04/2016 18:24

Remembrance Parades are not nationalistic.

The st Georges day parade is a celebration of out patron saint, celebrated enthusiastically in all parts of the UK on their saint day.

Balletgirlmum · 23/04/2016 18:24

If it was my child & a regular Tuesday commitment clashed with a regular Sunday commitment the original regular commitment on the Sunday would take priority over the Tuesday one.

HanYOLO · 23/04/2016 18:26

Pearly, it's more about being together as a scouting community than anything else. It's not a Britain First demo.

People can hide their CBA behind "being questioning" as much as they like, though.

No unthinking compliance round here. It's actually not that boring. Only dull in comparison to the setting things on fire, mountain climbing, night hikes, sailing and other things they do in Scouts, perhaps.

EweAreHere · 23/04/2016 18:26

It's strange how the family time/granny's birthday/essential appointment always crops up on St George's day, never camp

Not true.

The September camp date just came out for my Beaver. I've already told him he has a previous sporting commitment for one day that weekend, so he can't go camping. He's bummed, but gets it.

He also couldn't have marched tomorrow (if they were having a parade; it was cancelled) because of a sporting commitment.

Blu · 23/04/2016 18:31

YABU. When you join Scouts you DO sign up to what they do, and it includes church parades and usually Remembrance Day parade.

We are complete atheists but DS went to at least half the church parades, and we the families went too, to support the event. it was a fair swap, bumping up the attendance numbers for the church in return for the use of church premises. It was a brilliant scout troop, they did many impressive and ambitious projects and camps. I think it was an important part of what they got out of it that they didn't pick and choose the good bits and flake out of stuff they were less keen on.

Will you stop him going on the camps because of family life?

Blu · 23/04/2016 18:34

Missed update.

Original poster
ParadiseCity · 23/04/2016 18:40

Camps: he went on one a few years ago as a Cub and hated it. Tbf it was a disastrously rainy week, the campsite had to to ask them to sleep in the hut as it was too boggy and cold for tents. There were two really awfully behaved kids and leaders were I think out of their depth a bit so no one enjoyed it.

Since then they have clashed with his sport so he has had to decline anyway. He is going on a camp later this year when sports season has ended.

OP posts:
Balletgirlmum · 23/04/2016 18:42

The under 14s sports team atvthec club ds plays for in under 12s had half the team kidding last Sunday on the last games of the season due to a 'compulsory county trials'. In order to avoid penalties they played an under 12s team instead who got annihilated. Another club wasn't so lucky & had to concede their match as an automatic 8-0. How gutting for the team who have played all season for that to happen due to another activity.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 23/04/2016 18:44

My ds is in cubs, I didn't realise there was a parade, he hasn't mentioned it. On the back of this thread I've had dh text the leader... 'there is one, not to worry if you can't make it, here's the details if you want to come'... doesn't seem that important tbh. Checked with dds Brownie leader... no reply yet, dd hasn't mentioned anything either. They would both want to go if something was on, and we would be happy to take them, but I don't feel its quite as life and death in all groups as is being told on here.

I thought it was just a big youth club in all honesty, its the only extra curricula on offer around here and they go to have fun. No one has mentioned anything as compulsory, just lots of opportunities to enjoy different things without me and dh or younger siblings hanging around.

lalalalyra · 23/04/2016 18:47

I think on the whole children should attend the 'boring' bits of groups, but I also think some leaders take the whole 'once or twice a year' angle too far. My twins did Rainbows, Brownies and Guides, but were basically kicked out of Guides when they couldn't do Rememberance Day because their Dad decided to play doting Dad and stick to the letter of his contact order for a couple of months. Apparently at 13 they were 'old enough to decide' and their non attendance meant they had to leave as there was a long waiting list of girls who would 'fully participate'. I've never been so furious as it was explained to the leaders and they'd never missed anything other than one camp before and I still helped out with the event after the parade as they were short handed.

Swipe left for the next trending thread