Sorry, another wedding one. Declining invites when you already have plans

[Tinklewinkle]

AIBU to think that a wedding invitation doesn't trump previous, long standing commitments?

We have a music festival here in the summer. The date was announced last summer. We've had tickets for months and months, a whole group of us are all going together. We all go most years

Some friends of ours announced their engagement a couple of months ago and we received an invitation this week - for the Saturday of the music festival.

I called them last night to explain and to apologise that we wouldn't be able to make it. It didn't go very well. To paraphrase - hardly anyone is going because of the festival, we're all arseholes, her day is ruined, etc, etc, etc.

WWYD?

I feel really bad about it, but at the same time a little part of me thinks that if you pick the one of the busiest weekends of the year, you have to accept people may not be able to make it

Yanbu to go to the festival but the result might be that there is no friendship left after this so I suppose it depends on whether you are ok with this. You might well be ok with it if they aren't your best friends and they knowingly booked their wedding on top of plans made by their friends, assuming they would cancel.

However, she might not see the appeal of festivals. I don't and never have. Maybe she is really shocked people would choose a festival over a wedding. The only way you'd catch me at a festival is if someone paid me to go .

Oh, and send the bride a list of local grip-shops. It's polite to be helpful!

Maybe she is really shocked people would choose a festival over a wedding.

It's one thing expecting people not to decide to go to a festival when they already have a wedding invitation, quite another to expect them to cancel an expensive event that you know they have already booked.

And that is before you take into account any visitors to the island who will struggle with transport and accommodation.

I think you hit the nail on the head with it feeling manipulative I find it odd she chose a weekend that so clearly several people would be unavailable

Granted I don't know her from Adam but standing back it smacks of trying to push choosing her over something else ..... Very manipulative for reasons known only to her ..... It's a regular thing that she knew you were all going to....what was she trying to prove?

I'd go to the festival and leave it at that...if she chooses to take offence crack on ....

Why did she pick this weekend if knew was a music festival

Don't feel guilty and she either changes the date or you and others don't go

Why does this thread start with everyone talking in code? How many other islands have festivals :o
Also since when did people start liking status quo??

I got married during a world cup year. I deliberately chose a weekend after the league had finished and before the world cup had started because I wanted people including DH not to be trying to find local pubs to watch games in.

If you want your mates at your wedding you watch out for clashes. You don't want to turn your wedding day into a popularity contest between you some other event and lose.