AIBU to wonder what Brighton council are playing at asking 3 and 4 year olds their gender?

[SwearyKnickers]

Ds 4 identifies as a sausage. Although he sometimes goes by squish and cuddlemonkey. He hasn't sorted his pronouns yet. We better get on with it.. he's starting school in Sept...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-36092812

I care about all children, and I believe that all children are done a real disservice by this narrative, and are done a disservice by those who assume that if a child isn't trans they won't be affected by it. They will. Children will be told that if they are uncomfortable with a child of the opposite sex being in the changing room with them, that they should leave. That if they like all the things more commonly associated with the opposite sex that they are trans, instead of just being themselves. Parents are already being told not to being their kids up as bigots, not seeing that by bringing our children up to accept everyone, with all their different personalities, likes and dislikes, is about as unbigoted as you can get, unlikely bringing up a child to believe in rigid gender stereotypes.

I would also like to make the point that the way the trans narrative is currently being played out, the whole of society has to bow to the TAs agenda, which is to say that everyone has to accept the delusion that people can change sex, or were always the opposite sex. And it is a delusion. It's a mental health issue. Children who self harm are suffering from mental distress of some kind or other. The TAs want (and are so far succeeding) in not having this dealt with as a mental health issue, the end result of which is a lifetime of medication and potential surgery on healthy bodies. We do not agree with someone with anorexia that yes, they are grossly fat, everyone has to agree that they are grossly fat, and off you trot with a lifetime supply of laxatives. We do not perform unnecessary amputations on those who suffer from the body dysmorphia that makes them believe they should be an amputee. I have yet to see a single argument that can justify going down this route with those experiencing gender nonconformity, particularly with children.

I would also like to say that, from what I have read, a disproportionate number of people suffering from gender dysphoria are ASD, something like 20%. Could this be because dealing with gender being completely fluid and not black and white in a hyper-genderised society is harder for those with ASD?

Doesn't surprise me. It's Brighton. I lived there when the greens were in power didn't realize labour would be quite so stupid.

When I lived there a man knocked on my door, he was doing some sort of survey for the council (this was for the greens) and the last question he asked was 'were you born a woman'.

Not even sure it was relevant to the topic of the questionnaire but it's Brighton so it had to be asked.

I find the way these things are worded irritating: 'the gender they were assigned at birth'. No one is assigned a gender. The midwife on duty doesn't have a sort of selection process: we'll call this one male, we'll call this one female depending on a whim.

The vast majority of the human race are born with distinct male or female genitalia and their sex is either male or female therefore their gender is identified as male or female. If that doesn't sit right with a small minority in later life, then it's their decision to identify with whatever gender they wish to identify with. Most of us are happy to identify with the sex and gender we were born with, it wasn't assigned to us.

Hope you said "No I was born a baby, for which my mother was very thankful."

There is an article covering a Mum in the DM today, claiming her 18 month old son told her he was born into the wrong body. She supports him wearing a dress and calls him male pronouns, so I suspect the DM has taken a slant on the interview.

I hate that expression "the gender they were assigned at birth", ggrrrr.

'There is an article covering a Mum in the DM today, claiming her 18 month old son told her he was born into the wrong body'

DM so I'm taking this with an absolute bucket of salt, but if even slightly true, heaven help us all. The utter stupidity of it all.

Is all this just the latest example of the type of parent who acts like their child's friend, never says no, indulges their every whim, treats them like the centre of the universe and is incapable of being the adult in the relationship?

It's a mental health issue. Children who self harm are suffering from mental distress of some kind or other. The TAs want (and are so far succeeding) in not having this dealt with as a mental health issue, the end result of which is a lifetime of medication and potential surgery on healthy bodies. We do not agree with someone with anorexia that yes, they are grossly fat, everyone has to agree that they are grossly fat, and off you trot with a lifetime supply of laxatives. We do not perform unnecessary amputations on those who suffer from the body dysmorphia that makes them believe they should be an amputee. I have yet to see a single argument that can justify going down this route with those experiencing gender nonconformity, particularly with children.

This. With bells on.

Is all this just the latest example of the type of parent who acts like their child's friend, never says no, indulges their every whim, treats them like the centre of the universe and is incapable of being the adult in the relationship?

I'm not sure it's that actually. Because I think often the 'whims' of the child don't even come into it and actually it's the whims of the parents.

It seems like having a transgender child has become the latest fad and some parents are desperate to have one and will sieze on the flimsiest of evidence in order to declare that their child is transgender when it's completely inappropriate.

The sort of parent who five years ago would have been declaring that BLW was sent by God and giving your child a spoonful of purée was akin to mainlining heroin into them and would ruin their life entirely.

But this is a much more damaging fad.

the gender they were assigned at birth should read the gender they presented with at birth

No, it should read the sex they presented (by way of primary sexual characteristics) at birth. Which, for some parents, is a direct line to a childhood of pink and dolls or blue and diggers. But that's not a given.

I think you could be right some parents are attention seekers. I think some think they are doing the right thing and some like their children may be on the Autistic spectrum, so vulnerable.

In our area one to one meetings with educational psychologists no longer happen for school pupils. Lack of funds and thus staff, educational psychologists only meet with teachers not individual pupils (I presume for training/advice).
It might be worth inquiring of your MP where the funding for psychiatric/psychological support for transgenderism, and possibly costs of surgery, are coming from.
This has not been touched on by anyone to my knowledge.

Some people firmly believe that gender is fixed and innate at birth, and can be mismatched to sex. I think they have invested so much in this theory that seeing signs of mismatched gender makes perfect sense, especially when you consider how many people really believe that being boisterous and liking cars is truly innate to tiny boys, and being quiet and liking glitter is innate to tiny girls.
It's the fault of fucking patriarchy of course.

This is the most stupid thing. EVER. Yes a very very tiny % might have body d at that age.
Or want to dress in uniform of the other sex. Ok. And may need a lot of other support. Yes. But all this can be provided, without the need for the stupid council to put it on the form, that does not affect 99.9% of the applicants.

When my elder DD was a child she was of the firm belief that she would grow up to become a man. Not because she was unhappy with her gender, not because she would grow up to become transgender but because she just thought that's how it worked.

She told me this when she was old enough to realize it probably wasn't going to happen, but as a small child had been convinced of it.

She was a confident little person, was definitely not into pink or sparkly stuff and got very miffed if anyone told her she was cute.

Had I been a Daily Mail reader no doubt I would have concluded that she was definitely going to become a transgender adult and gone out and bought her lots of boys clothes.

She's 31, no sign yet though.