AIBU to wonder what Brighton council are playing at asking 3 and 4 year olds their gender?

[SwearyKnickers]

Ds 4 identifies as a sausage. Although he sometimes goes by squish and cuddlemonkey. He hasn't sorted his pronouns yet. We better get on with it.. he's starting school in Sept...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-36092812

I'm another one who was convinced I was a boy when I was young. Even had my hair cut short. I wasn't, I just liked football, 'boys' cartoons and had little interest in dresses - so in my child mind and thanks yo gender stereotyping, I thought I was a boy. This was in the 80's and girls weren't allowed to play football with the boys at lunch break because 'boys are rough'.

I wonder if I'd have been put into an 'other' tick-box had it been 2016.

Thank goodness my daughter can enjoy her cartoons, football and all the other things she enjoys without them being 'for boys'.

The intersex issue is not relevant here because they're asking about gender identity not sex. All of this will do nothing to help anyone with truly anbiguous sex (and it's not actually intended to, that's just wheeled out as a spurious justification).

This is about expecting parents of 3 and 4 year olds to declare (and monitor) their children's 'gender identity'. It is completely inappropriate, especially for children of this age, and is very likely to be damaging for all children and society more widely.

Children who are self harming reqiire proper mental health care and support. The problem is we do not provide this. As a society we'd rather turn something into a bodily problem we can medicalise and treat (through 'transition') that actually provide adequate mental health care.

Its Brighton its the green party and its right on i want all Brighton parents to tick the other box then the council can feel all smug with themselves , 1 of my dds identified as a cat at 4

StephanieD nailed it! This is all so depressing.

I want parents asked to do this, to respond honestly if their child says they are a cat, dog, dinosaur.

My 13yr old recently went to an event at the local college with her school. The kids filled in a form that included the question, Gender - Male/Female/Other.

DD is pretty clued up Tumblr-reader so knew what they meant, but spare a thought for the poor teacher who had to explain this to 25 confused kids. Most of whom had never give this a second thought, some were totally oblivious to the current discussions.

I don't understand how we got from 'girls can play with cars and like football' to 'she plays with cars and likes football, ergo she is trans and is really a boy' in just a few years.

I'm so glad more people are questioning all this trans bollocks.

It is SO damaging to children, and to women's rights and sexual equality.

My Dd is 23 she liked cars dinosaurs and trains and trousers and played with boys when she started school at 5 she didnt like girl things I agree with you Beatrix how did we go from that to this baffles me

It's very silly. Children should be individual children rather than boy or girl children. They don't need to be devided until they're 8 so it's not an issue til then.

I work with preachoolers we have little boys clip cloping about in play shoes and pushing prams playing mummy are the identifying as female or just modeling their mothers ?

I have known a child who said they were a cat at this age. And they only wanted to eat from a cat bowl, and would purr and want to be stroked. How is this any different from a boy who says he is a girl and wants to wear dresses and likes pink? Why should one be taken seriously, and the other be looked on as a childish phase?

Presumably you'd need to write 'cat (today)' because who knows what they'll be certain they are tomorrow. DS2 (who is older than 4) is absolutely adamant that he used to own a big multinational company. He will not accept that this is not the case. So does that mean that he's really a millionaire who got rich from selling his successful business? Should the school be inviting him to review their business plans on this basis?

I'm waiting for about a million comment pieces to appear in newspapers (let's face it, the guardian is going to be awash with them - we might even get a poorly thought through, handwringing editorial) congratulating Brighton and Hove did how wonderful and progressive they are and painting the parents (and anyone else who questions this) as nasty reactionaries.

Many people are very sensitive about being painted as non-progressive and prejudiced (as they will be) so they internalise all this and don't question. They assume that they must be wrong and keep quiet or blame themselves for holding 'regressive' and 'harmful views'. The arguments employed are purposefully designed to position anyone who might question or disagree alongside racists and bigots precisely so that people will not disagree.

Not sure why everyone is saying Green Party I thought Brighton Council is run by the Labour Party, the Greens were disastrously and briefly in control but have been voted out.
So depressing that trans rights are riding roughshod over women's rights and reinforcing gender stereotyping. I was desperate to be a boy until about 15 and was extremely androgynous but lucky enough to have liberal parents who just let me do my thing and gave me permission to be whoever I wanted to be. This sort of enforcing rather that just relaxing is horrifying we need to promote an open relaxed equality not a name calling I'm more different than you' hierarchy. Cis children my arse

I think the way the council has tried to portray the mother as some sort of ignorant scumbag who's just run straight to the Sun is appalling. She spoke to the local paper and made a lot of relevant and very considered points. The spin the council are putting on it is a disgrace.

I don't blame her for not wanting to complain direct to the school. I'm sure if she had her child would have been labelled as being in position of a full set of 'isms' and singled out for monitoring and reeducation.

If it doesn't affect you why not shut the fuck up and educate yourselves you horrible ignorant cunts

Telling really isn't it? Trans activist telling women who won't toe the line to shut the fuck up and calling (and seeing) them as something as reductive as a bunch of cunts.

That sentence is basically the problem with transactivism in a nutshell. They do just see women as 'cunts' and they do just want women to 'shut the fuck up' because the narrative and wants of the Trans lobby should always override those of women.

It's a case of using well meaning CP to stop free speech.

cis children my arse sums it all up

I think this is risky as anyone who sees, say a bunch of asshole boys representing 'the boys' and thinks 'I don't want to identify with them' or the sparkly straight hair girls as 'girls' and not identify with them, might say they don't feel like that gender, but not mean not that sex, and it risks both polarising what each gender means, and labelling someone as trans. Its ridiculous. As someone who hated the 'tosser boy' trope and the 'sparkly girl' trope and liked all the boyish girls and the imaginative boys, I think it's that polarisation is a much bigger problem in identity, and 'tricking' kids into labelling themselves as trans could generate more problems than it helps with.

Why are they putting children in tick boxes they are 4 they do not need tick boxes

That sentence is basically the problem with transactivism in a nutshell. They do just see women as 'cunts' and they do just want women to 'shut the fuck up' because the narrative and wants of the Trans lobby should always override those of women.

Yep!

I think it's an abusive question, cruel, unnecessary and controlling, organised by a group of adults with a fetish.

Quite happy to be a cunt on this issue!

If your dd/ds is mutilating their own genitals I am desperately sorry for you but their body dysphoria doesn't get to reduce my child's experience of the world.

dd has a friend who is anorexic. She is receiving treatment, not being fucking indulged at every opportunity.

I'm confused as to why anyone thinks they need to explain this to their 3- or 4- year old. Just fill in the form! By this age you will have had loads of conversations about who's a girl and who's a boy, and if they're not happy identifying with the gender that society associates with them, you'll already know. It's just like any other special need - as a parent you probably notice it first, it's good to raise it with their school so they can be aware and possibly help, and there will be conversations you'll have with your child about it, but those conversations will be a separate thing dictated by your child's own development and ability to understand.

It's just like any other special need

words fail me

special needs.

Wearing a dress is not a special need. I do see some correlation to the threads in g&t you used to get about their 6 month old being ready for year 2 (3 at a push) though.

"Dd and I have already had the pangender vs simply demiboi talk.. she's still not quite sure but we'll wait till she's 2 before making any hard decisions.. in the mean time we're just happy to supply her with blue and light blue cloth nappies."