To be pissed off re shoes on in the house

[JeVoudrais]

Had visitors round this morning. I didn't answer the door as was occupied and came down 15 mins later.

Shoes on. In my carpeted living room. When they left, I asked DP and he said they always keep shoes on when they come. I expect it is because we have dogs. They know perfectly well that we rug doctored not long ago and that the dogs do not go in the living room with wet or dirty feet, though.

Regardless of how hygienic they think my carpet is, would it not be polite to at least ask regarding shoes? We have always removed shoes ASAP in their house because they take theirs off and it is expected of their guests.

I have OCD and am having a meltdown inside currently. AIBU to tell them in no uncertain terms next time that SHOES ARE NOT ALLOWED and ban them from my house if they want to keep them on?

I'm surprised that HCPs would say they take their shoes off. They should have shoe covers to wear if requested but it is against my H&S policy to take off shoes in case there are needles or other nasty items that might cut feet or cause injury.

I've now got these guest slippers coming up as ad on mumsnet because of this thread.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B003E6KWDW?ascsubtag=e59f95932fc9bae1db476bc752ad218b_S&pc_redir=T1&tag=dradisplay0bb-21

I always take my shoes off in my house. When guests come over my house i don't particularly mind if they take there shoes off or not just as long as there not dirty. However when i go to other peoples house i have been asked to take my shoes off and i don't mind. The way i see it there house there rules.

In our house, if shoes/boots are muddy or covered in cement (DH's job) then they come off. Other than that, no. I take mine off and put my slippers on - I live here after all. I would never ask anyone else to take theirs off. I have no issue running a hoover over the carpet - but more urgent jobs usually need doing! (I hoover regularly and aquavac once every so often down to dog and cat hair so it's not like our floors are dirty) I do understand that others feel differently. I go to a few different houses during the week when I'm tutoring and I do take my shoes off at a couple of them. I was asked to at one, and the other I thought it would be rude not to since their home is like a show home and I didn't want to train any sort of dirt onto their floor.

At the end of the day, each to their own.

We have a shoes off rule and any houses that we go to we take shoes off (comes naturally) HOWEVER...you have dogs! Your dogs go in to your living room.

That defeats the purpose of shoes off. Your dogs have been outside stepping through goodness knows what. Your dogs are...well...dogs. They have hairs covering their bodies, they don't wash that regularly, they sliver, they dribble from their bottoms - so I don't think you are THAT fussy about germs are you?

"Lillipudlian Interesting! I am Canadian. Apparently, the Canadians and Japanese are the only cultures that have an absolute no shoe culture. My father is European, my inlaws are British and when they visit, they wear their shoes in the house. This, to me, is akin to sitting with a bare bum on the kitchen table! It's horrific! It is simply not done in Canada... so, yeah... I am the wrong person to ask. Come to Canada! We need people like you! Good luck!!

Rubbish! I assume you haven't travelled much. Many Asian countries have an absolute no indoor shoe culture and several Scandanavian ones too.

My parents think it's really, really odd that anyone would take off their shoes in the house and that's what I grew up with.

But I love kicking off my shoes when I get home, so I do.

I don't care what others do when they visit, as long as they are comfortable.

I have naice rugs but would rather people kept their shoes on tbh. A bit of mud is preferable to foot sweat and toe bogies [boak]

It's so rude to ask for people's shoes off. Of course you wouldn't go tramping around in muddy boots. But it is being awkward and precious to expect people to remove their perfectly decent clean shoes. I've only really come across this with my town friends. Were the carpets particularly dirty when they left?

LaConnerie has a very good point about foot sweat - difficult to vacuum up!

I live in a rented house with pale carpets so we have a no shoe rule. In fact, all my neighbours are also no shoes inside people. I think mainly because the street is full of cow shit.

The only person that has an issue with no shoes is SIL. I'd rather she didn't come at all tbh. But next time I'll send her to the back door and insist she stays in the kitchen.

Lillipuddlian - well aren't you charming. I stand by my statement by the way. You said the only people who take their shoes off are the Canadians and Japanese. Rubbish!

We wear shoes in my house, as do most everyone else I know, so it wouldn't occur to me to take them off (unless you had white carpet or something). I'd be happy to do so, and I would hope that if you felt that way you would mention it. Even if it's after the fact, I would apologize and know for the future that that is what you do in your house.

In theory I like people to take their shoes off in the house as it keeps the floors cleaner but I have no idea how people make it work in practice without a lot of hassle, particularly if your outdoor shoes are long boots/big shoes with laces etc. Consider the following scenarios, all of which happened to me last week :

1 We arrived back from an Easter break and needed to unload the car of loads of stuff. Having a shoes off in the house would have meant, constantly swapping shoes at the front door and again at the back door while carrying, clothes bags, bedding, tents etc out of the car into the house and in some cases, through the house and out the back again to the shed. Just not gonna happen

2 I had just rushed out of the house (put on outdoor shoes) to the car to take DS to school, I then realised I had forgotten something. There was no way I was going to go back in , take off shoes (big boots with laces) , then put my shoes on again afterwards; it would have trebbled the time it took me to get the forgotten item. Instead I opened the door, went go into the room next to the front door (wearing shoes), grabbed forgotten item and left .

3 We decided to eat one of our meals outside (first sunny day for ages). To take food outside in our house we need to carry trays through the kitchen and back room and into the garden. Trying to put shoes on and off at the back door while carrying trays was too much hassle, particularly as I was carrying stuff in and out a lot

4. I had a landscaper come to give us a quote on the garden . It seems bonkers to ask them to remove their shoes at the front door, carry them through the house, put them on again before going into the garden and then repeat the whole process again before leaving the house. That is even without the constant going in and out of the house for me to explain what was going to happen with extensions etc which the landscaper needed to fit in with.

I suppose I am too lazy to consistently impose the no shoes rule. That then means I end up thinking , "well what is point of enforcing it when people visit really ?" I suppose that makes me the worst of all worlds, someone who would love to have a consistent "no shoes" policy in the house but who can't be a*d to keep to it myself.

Also who on earth manages to implement a "no shoes in house" policy when you have a load of visiting children playing in the garden, who run in and out of the the family/living room which opens into the garden ? I have tried but in the end decided it was easier to clean more often or live with the dirt/mess (I vacillate between the two usually)

I must say I love having laminate floors now mostly because it really is easier to clean any mess associated with wearing shoes indoors.

perfectly decent clean shoes
So they are clean even though you've been walking on dirty pavements where dogs, cats, foxes, pigeons etc walk, poo, wee, not to mention people dropping food debris, litter, cigarette butts spitting on the ground etc. If you think you're shoes are clean you have a strange concept of clean! Or do you mean you wash and disinfect them before entering someone's house.

You shouldn't need to be ASKED to remove outdoor footwear in someone's home. As someone else said, it's equivalent to lighting up a cigarette just because you smoke in your own home.

As for foot-sweat, good hygiene is the answer. Washing them daily and using foot-powder or deodorant spray if you sweat a lot. Clean socks or slippers if you don't like people to see your feet!

Bumbling, slip-on shoes would be the answer?
As for kids, yes all visiting kids remove shoes when coming in from the garden, all my friends kids do this automatically, it's part of teaching your kids good manners!

bumbling I live in a "no shoes in the house" country and also a playing out, kids call for each other local culture, right next to a grassed playground and a football field and (behind the field) a small wood with stream. .. It's a rare day I don't have a pile of muddy football boots on my front step and a few extra pairs of trainers in the hall or porch area - visiting kids take shoes off automatically. Sometimes the boys borrow ds1 's outgrown clothes if especially muddy too... and they often are caked in wet mud as they play hours of football on a low lying often slightly waterlogged field, often interspersed with fishing the ball out of the stream or building dams and bridges over it...

Bumbling
If im in and out loading i put everything in the hallway then load everything then its just my hallway that needs mopping etc as shoes off in main part of the house, also if in and out from the garden then shoes are at the back door.
Was brought up that way and have taught my kids the same, as a child with cousins and schoolfriends would have 10 12 kids in our garden and all would leave shoes by back door, i think kids learn quicker than some adults.

Someone one said about in rome do as the romans and i think being a good houseguest or friend means this and pick up on the social cues around you. Noone is demanding shoes off but simply do as the householder does. Its part of being polite isnt it?

I really dont understand why people think its rude espescially if noone demands it.

Inland tiger

Yes in theory but the problem for me is that in winter in particular, the only way to make this work would be to have slip on shoes for "quick outdoor trips" by both doors in addition to our normal outdoor shoes. These would need to be both by the front and back door so everyone in the house would need a pair of slip on slippers/indoor shoes and two pairs of slip on outdoor shoes (one by by each door). This would be in addition to the normal everyday outdoor shoes (boot/trainers etc). This is just overkill for me, particularly since we have so little space by our front door entrance and by the door to the garden. I actually dislike the mess of shoes by the doors more than the mess on the floors I suppose.

I admit it is easier on the summer when our outdoor shoes tend to be more sandals /flip flops etc so easier to slip on and off when you go in and out of the house. Unfortunately winter is probably when the most dirt gets trampled in as it tends to be wet/snowy outside

I am currently spending too much time thinking about shoe storage at the moment anyway as I change my shoes quite a lot over a week and gradually over time, the outdoor shoes tend to proliferate in an unsightly pile by the front door! but that is slightly off topic!

A lot of people here have "garden clogs" which are like crocs but more substantial. .. (we don't though). Thinking about it I don't know anyone here who's garden is only accessible by walking through the house - I have never consciously noticed that before, and I suppose it is conducive to the shoes off culture. Our back garden is only accessible via the garage but that is not the norm either! We live rurally so there aren't many terraced houses (lots of people live in flats but that isn't relevant to the shoe/ garden dilemma).

I know 2 people who are very house proud, not that there's anything wrong with it, and they ask for you to take your shoes off. I don't see anything wrong with that either.

Shoes are dirty.

Our friend cans round s few weeks ago and was laughing at how on the way round to his neighbours to drop off a parcel he stepped in dog shit, he gave his shoes s wipe and proceeded to the door. The neighbour asked him to go in, instead of removing his shoes he walked straight in. I was horrified! He said he was too embarrassed to explain he just stepped in dog shit. Some people have no respect!!!!!

Only on Mumsnet would you expect people to remove their shoes when going into your house. Pffft. What an odd statement.

InlandTiger you say that teaching kids to take off their shoes is just good manners.

What do you do if they then go to someone's house who thinks it's incredibly bad manners to take your shoes off in someone else's house?

Surely makes much more sense to just teach them to copy whoever lives in the house?

Exactly treacle. Teach your child to abide by the rules of the house they're visiting. I wouldn't thank a guest for assuming they could take their shoes off and I certainly wouldn't think they had great manners!

You shouldn't need to be ASKED to remove outdoor footwear in someone's home. As someone else said, it's equivalent to lighting up a cigarette just because you smoke in your own home.

What nonsense.