For someone to buy DC toys for another persons house?

[Ohsotired123]

Ok SIL is currently coming off as a bit of a pisstaker to be honest. She's done my head in tonight.

This is the fourth post in probably 5 weeks or so that she's put on Facebook with pictures of toys she's bought saying 'toys for nannys house' 'more toys for princess's at nannys' etc. Quite good toys. The latest is a wooden dolls house and she's ordered all of the furniture. DD is 8 months and doesn't live with her nanny, she lives at home.

Mil has a good range of toys already At her house, a big plastic storage box full of all sorts of toys and books, other non musical toys etc. She has loads! A really good selection.

It just seems she's trying to compete or something, buying all of these toys not for my DD own house but for her mums house. Why?! A dolls house can't be used for atleast 2 years As she's only a baby at the moment, so why buy it? [Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity].

Mil told me SIL is now on the look out for a slide for mil house!

Does it seem to anyone else a bit stand offish and a bit OTT.

Perhaps she just wants your dd to look forward to going to nanny's house. I really remember the anticipation of certain special toys when I used to go to my grandparents' house. It's a happy memory!

what the sil is doing is a bit odd.

Why?

Maybe she just likes buying toys ?? I love buying stuff for younger kids, in fact it's one of the things I miss most about my two getting older !!

Yabu and very, very odd.

You know I can see it from SIL's view.

I WAS that aunt

My sister was pregnant (unexpectedly) and I was excited for her. I offered to buy things and was told no because it was HER baby. Sister was 18 and not exactly rolling in the cash. Flip side, she let my mum buy what I offered.

The first two months I wasn't allowed near the baby on my own or even allowed to take her out. My mum on the other hand had her most nights and whenever sister wanted help. We all lived together so it wasn't like I was going to take my niece anywhere. Mum started to refuse to babysit and then all of a sudden guess who sister came running to?

At first I did it because I was happy to spend time with this new family member.

Then she started to take the piss and I said no.

4 years down the line and I've moved out and got my own children.
Things are still strained now

You know what i'll actually go as far as to say its none of your business OP.

She has spent her own money. The toys are taking up no space in your house. They are affecting you in no way whatsoever. This is between SIL and MIL. It is nothing to do with you.

Or she could just be being really really nice and generous?

It's a form of taking over. Slides? Come on!! Dolls houses that can't be used for another 2 years with brand new furniture to be kept at a house she doesn't live in?! Again come on!!!.

If they cant be used for 2 years how on earth is it a form of taking over? are you saying she plans to take over when your child is 2?

Taking over what??

Hardly a form of taking over!

OK, so some of the toys will have to wait for a while but so what?

So toys she will never see and wont play with for at least 2 years is her taking over? Have you thought this through Op? Like i said, you have serious issues. Why are you so scared of your SIL?

From what you have posted (and there is possibly more to it that you haven't detailed) I feel really sorry for this woman. It would seem she can't have dc herself, so dotes on her niece, buys her lots of things, but you can't stand her for it. Doesn't make sense to me.

I agree with everyone else.
[Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity]

Why do you dislike your dc's Aunty so much ?

if it was my sil I would just be thinking it was nice gesture and be glad she cared enough to want to be involved and treat niece and if your Dc is spending time there then why would it matter where the toys are as long as she gets to play with them (when she is right age) sounds like she is just excited to be an aunt and proud so maybe that's why she is posting on Fb unless there are underlying issues between u and her that makes u think she has ulterior motive?

OP you're being petty and OTT. You should be happy you've got a SIL who wants to buy your child things and see them. What does it matter if she wants to spend her money on stuff for your daughter to go into her own mothers house?!

Sorry, OP. Nobody is going to say on this or on your other thread that your sister in law is likely to snatch your child and bring her up as her own so you must cut all contact immediately.

I think you're being a bit unfair. Your SIL knows that she can't have the toys at her house, because your DD is unlikely to ever see them. She probably knows that you won't accept them at your house too, so she only has one other option, nanny's house.
Posting on FB is a bit weird, but maybe she means you to see the toys, so that you know they're there for when you take your DD to her nanny's, so that you don't buy the same/similar.

I have no clue what you mean by stand-offish, as it doesn't fit what you seem to be implying (Someone is stand-offish when they are a bit snooty, or don't want much to do with you) but I think you could do with being a bit more relaxed about your SIL's attitude to her niece.

To be honest, I'm siding with OP, this would piss me off and I have issues with my sister and would see it as her trying to behave as if my child was hers. Buying toys that won't be age appropriate for years IS weird. So they'll just sit there unused as though they are for imaginary children, especially if you are 200 miles away and dont often visit, unlike down the road or round the corner

Also, she's buying milestone gifts IMO that would be a big Christmas gift at say age 6. Little DD's first dolls house. This is for Mummy to pick out not Auntie unless it's been agreed.

Who gets to put DD on her first slide? Mummy or Aunty who bought it for her?

[Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity]

Your poor sil.

No reason why she can't buy things for her niece. You sound very jealous.

Yeh I'm sorry, I think you're being way OTT. You seem to have massive issues with your SIL that you're using this as a cover for- what is it? A few gifts will not make your DD love her auntie more than she loves you, especially if she lives hundreds of miles away. Maybe just try to see it as a nice gesture?

Ok I'm back tracking and I'm not afraid to admit it, having read more of the thread.

It's clear the sil is just excited about being an auntie, I think you sound a little bit possessive op.

But- why do you have these feelings towards your sil? Is she disrespectful to you personally, has she said things to make you not trust her?

Or do you feel she ignores you completely and just 'uses' you for your dd? Do you feel sidelined?

The child is 8 months old, she'll be on that slide by the summer, her nanny will love taking her down it holding onto her. It wont be sitting unused for years.

Same for the dolls house. My dad built me mine for my first christmas. I was 6 months old. I certainly didnt wait til i was 6 years old to play with it. This baby will be exporing that dolls house next time she is at her nanny's.

She probably knows that you won't accept them at your house too, so she only has one other option, nanny's house.

But why is she buying shitloads of toys for her brothers child to keep at her Mums without reference to her brother or SIL. Or even asking them?

Feel sorry for her circumstance al you like it doesn't entitle her to take over randomly equip her niece with a small outlet of Toys R Us of things she does not need and her mum may have wanted to get herself or not want her to have and then do the Facebook thing on top.

Feel sorry for her circumstance al you like it doesn't entitle her to take over randomly equip her niece with a small outlet of Toys R Us of things she does not need and her mum may have wanted to get herself or not want her to have

She can buy what she likes for someone else's house. Just because you are a child's parent doesnt mean you get to police absolutely everything in relation to that child. They are entitled to develop their own relationships with their other family members. Its incredibly controlling to think you get to dictate every single interaction with your child. Not healthy at all.

You really dislike her, don't you?