To be angry to find so many threads on fights regarding house chores

[Valentine2]

I think it should be regarded a national emergency considering the distress it's causing to at least half the population (women mostly) and definitely the stress extends to men.
MNHQ and JUSTINE
see I think we can actually use Mumsnet as a platform for starting a campaign for this? It can involve academics, funding (Mumsnet can help with that perhaps?) and of course lots of coverage/campaign in media.
I do think that if we are finding this level of stress among mothers and women in general, it is something that must be discussed in an organised way.

But the basic measurement won't apply to most people. Which would mean whatever guidelines you draw up are of limited use.

Essentially it's probably about
a) communication
b) compromise
c) recognising that if you can't manage a) or b) then your relationship may have reached the end of its lifespan.

Arbitrary basic measures of energy levels aren't going to change that in any way.

I just don't think you need the data, you can jump straight to the second stage without a set of numbers.

But free time isn't just about rest time. It's about down time to do something you choose without having other demands placed on you.

Lweji I think making this point to the OP is beginning to feel like hammering your head against a brick wall.

I found these articles if anyone is interested;

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2016-02-08-who-does-most-housework-multicultural-britain
The first ever nationally representative study has looked at how housework is organised by couples across different ethnic groups in Britain. It finds that Black Caribbean men have the least traditional attitudes to gender roles and get stuck into the household chores.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/08/men-women-cleaning-gender-divide-middle-class-men-do-less
The research noted that different male approaches to household chores might have something to do with class and earning levels. While women still do the most housework, and men still use the “incompetence” ruse, men also do say they believe in gender equality. However, while those on lower incomes increasingly mucked in with housework, men on higher incomes not so much.

Solitary wanderer
I think your OH will be unjust to expect you to do ANY thing if you have a consistently lower energy levels than him. Of course once he is about to burn all of his energy by helping you out, that's when the household chores should stop and he should rest too.
My point is: women are burning far more energy than men if you consider physical strength , toll of pregnancy and child birth/feeding/care and multitasking. In the name of equality too.
So if one study that could try and take ALL such factors into account is possible, why not do this. (Though I agree a large number of heads of funding agencies are men so it will be hard to fund may be 😝)

Ilovesooty
Hey don't say that pls? That's not nice. I said so many times that I totally get what you are saying. That is how my household works. I am saying if that is not working for so many other people though, we might need to go further and do more too.

OP, I am a fat little old lady. He is a skinny old man.
He may want to scientifically raise my energy levels by making me go on daily walks and analysing data on a daily basis to see the effects.

If you feel I have said anything against talk guidelines you are free to report.
I still think this is ludicrous and you are not understanding why so many people think so.

I still don't understand why a few threads on MN =national crisis.

If it is not working in other households people need to look at attitude, respect, perceptions and boundaries. Not at a scientific study.

Op, I agree with you that it is thoroughly depressing to see so many threads from (mainly) women who are being taken advantage of by their (mainly) male partners. I find it quite unbelievable how entrenched and old-fashioned many Mumsnetters' views are on the subject too.

I am not sure how a national campaign would work but I do think equality should be taught in all schools.

But I would also say, if someone is "bone tired" at 6.30pm quite frequently then they could do with a thorough medical. And unless it is something absolutely essential, then leave that chore til another time.

We have a cleaner who does 3 hours per week, probably less than a quarter of all the domestic stuff that needs doing. So families with cleaners still need to have the discussion about equal division of chores, with children contributing as soon as they can.

Sigh. What I am trying to say is this: We use this kind of measureme to to get rough estimate and then each household use their own rules and methods and principles and love to work out from there

Stop with the PA sighing, it's silly and condescending.

You haven't said HOW you would devise this metric, and HOW you would account for the myriad of variables and control for the confounding factors. And you haven't because you have no idea of how it could actually be done: because it couldn't be.

I'm a scientist, and have designed research projects. Have you?

Neither do I Sparkling

Everyoneelsie
Thanks for posting that. The first one is a great study and it clearly shows that no matter how far we have come already, there is a problem that exists in the 2016 Britain and that is what's obvious in the threads over here too.

I think you can shove your "guidelines" and your "handbook" up your Arse TBH!!! Can people really not think for themselves anymore and need the state to rule every aspect of their lives?

If the housework/parenting divide is unsatisfactory for you, change it, in whatever way you need to - we really don't need anyone else dictating our lives!

No one is denying there is a problem in many households in the UK in 2016 about the gender division of household chores, and the expectations as to how much is done by whom.
Most of us don't seem to feel that a scientific analysis of energy levels is the way to a solution.

Tigger
Sorry for the "sigh" . It's a bad habit I have that I need to get rid of soon. Apologise for that.
But don't be Hermoine Granger on me. Just because you can't understand how it can be done, doesn't mean it can't be done. (Sorry my sense of humour is rather crap too so apologising if it looks like a bad joke)

Perhaps you could pitch the idea to Channel 5 for a documentary OP.

Solitary wanderer
I think I should leave it here because I see I am not adding anything to this and am even wrong probably. I should go into my cave and sit down and think about my rants here. Lol

Would you like some cake to take with you?
Cooking is my area, maximum enjoyment minimum stress.
media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/6/005/09a/04d/0e00bf4.jpg

God I feel sorry for people whose relationships are little more than a competition to see who's the most oppressed.

Op, put the academia back on its shelf, go outside and breathe in some real life. Honestly, measuring energy to see who puts the bins out? Ffs. Now that deserves to be torn apart by that Wright eejit.

Just because you can't understand how it can be done, doesn't mean it can't be done

True. But you haven't managed to explain how it can be done.

Solitary wanderer
Thanks for the cake though I don't like chocolate. Send me a cheese cake. Lemon or something.

Flyingelbow
That's down right stupid to do it for taking the bin out. I am talking about having a general guideline for all to see, not to do before each chore. I am not THAT mental. 😝😝

I can just imagine the sort of pseudo humourless -third-rate-- 'academic' that would indeed be keen to grab 'funding' for this -even though I assume the OP is just a wind-up.