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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate my pre-teen (12yo) right now?

275 replies

t33jay · 14/04/2016 21:47

Having checked Parent Pay Transaction History we've realised he has been stealing money (sums approx £500) from us, then using the money to top up his cashless account in school via the machine. Sometimes in cornershops to buy sweets, but mostly to buy school dinners.

He is on packed lunch as we have told the school that he is on organic diet only to find out that he has been given a 'canteen access card' in school and this is what he has been using to buy ridiculous amount of food. He does not have the fingerprint access, hence the access card.

So gets his meals at home + snacks & pudding + packed lunch AND gets sweets + at least £10 worth of food from the canteen ON MOST DAYS!!!

Surely the schools should put a limit on the amount a child can spend on a day!?!!!!!!!

I have a meeting with the headmaster tomorrow. Give me more ammos, am going there all guns blazing!!!!

To say that I am livid is an understatement.

OP posts:
Mrsantithetic · 14/04/2016 22:25

Okkaaaayyyý

Why is his older brother allowed a dinner but not him?

pinkpeter1 · 14/04/2016 22:25

Why can't he have school dinners if his brother can? That seems odd?

ilove · 14/04/2016 22:25

Oh, and you can say crap on here. No need for the *

Rainatnight · 14/04/2016 22:27

Why can't he even have access to the canteen? Isn't he allowed to sit with his mates?

MyFriendGoo52 · 14/04/2016 22:28

If you're one of those silly parents who tries to overly control their kids diet then.this is your own fault. It sounds as tho your child has serious issues with food, I hope for your own conscience he's been spending that amount of money on his friends to because if he hasn't then the missing money will be the least of.your worries.

LogicalThinking · 14/04/2016 22:29

Sounds like he doesn't agree that his organic diet is really tasty.

Miloarmadillo1 · 14/04/2016 22:29

Why can't he have school dinners if that's ok for his brother?
I don't understand how he can have stolen £500 before you noticed. Did h physically take money from your purse, or has he run up a big debt at school?

YouMakeMyDreams · 14/04/2016 22:30

And thus is a prime example of a child with so many diet restrictions that given a way to get around it they go nuts.
Sorry but you have caused this. You cannot go in and make a fool of yourself yelling at the school. Why does one get and the other doesn't?

Sallyingforth · 14/04/2016 22:31

Third, why I am blaming the school. - BECAUSE WE CATEGORICALLY TOLD THE HEADMASTER THAT HE WILL BE ON PACKED LUNCHES AND WILL NOT ACCESS THE CANTEEN!!!

You told the Head that your son will be on packed lunches. OK. That means to me like a statement. not a request. You have sorted it with your son and there is nothing more for the Head to do.

Did you actually say to the Head, "Please put measures in place to prevent my son accessing the canteen?" Did you want staff put on duty at the door to check for him every day?

Original poster
t33jay · 14/04/2016 22:32

Good point ilove, it is because the older one is much more active , a foot taller, behaves at home & in school (he's in grammar school) whereas this troublemaker is short & stout.

We wanted him to slim a little before we let him choose what he eats.

Now having this incident, is it right to put him to school dinners without giving the impression that if he does something terrible he will eventually get what he wanted?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 14/04/2016 22:32

Crikey op I think you need to take. Deep breath and explain things slowly with reasons why. You are coming over as slightly unhinged and I think it's because you are stressed.

Your big problem here is the stealing. What All has he stolen and how?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/04/2016 22:32

Organic meansGrinGrin

We know what organic means

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 14/04/2016 22:33

Why isn't he allowed to have school dinners like his brother?

LaceyLee · 14/04/2016 22:34

It's not the school's job to enforce your 'tasty' diet on your son.

And how you thought this would work while allowing his older brother to eat like all the other kids is beyond me.

gingerdad · 14/04/2016 22:34

You sound nuts. Think you need to sort you parenting out and the theft. Not sure it's the schools fault.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 14/04/2016 22:35

So you are using food try to control your son's behaviour Shock

Original poster
t33jay · 14/04/2016 22:37

What I don't understand from the school is

Why did they give him school access card if the headmaster knows he will not have school dinner?

Should they at least have given it to me?

OP posts:
lostincumbria · 14/04/2016 22:37

So you've been going onto ParentPay and not noticed both your sons have a balance?

RJnomore1 · 14/04/2016 22:37

Ah.

So you have tall sporty goldenballs grammar boy and the short stout troublemaker whom you hate?

Can you see where there might be an issue?

ilove · 14/04/2016 22:37

I really hope you're a troll. Because you cannot - as you have discovered - control what your "short stout troublemaker" puts in his mouth.

Bloody hell

Barmaid101 · 14/04/2016 22:38

Why can one child have school dinners and not the other? No wonder he feels he is getting the crap deal

NewLife4Me · 14/04/2016 22:38

this troublemaker

Nah, bollocks

ilove · 14/04/2016 22:39

How old is this poor kid?

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 14/04/2016 22:39

If this is real as soon as your son moves out/marries you won't see him for dust!

BarbarianMum · 14/04/2016 22:39

I disagree that the big problem here is the stealing. The big problem here is that the "troublemaker" is having his diet restricted against his will and without his consent. I can see why you'd worry about his weight OP but he's too old for you to manage this way. You really need him onside or you may end up with a child with an eating disorder.