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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask another school mum to take kids to school?

163 replies

ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 16:58

My child care just fell through and I have no options. I'm on nights won't get home until 9am. dh starts work at 0700 and would need to drop kids off at 0645. I have no other options and cannot take carers leave. But feel very cheeky asking others. At a push dh can go in late but his work will get very annoyed at him and he isn't working in a great environment as it is. Agh why are things so bloody hard!

Would I be cheeky to ask, I'm not close to any school mums but we chat a lot at the gate and one of my children are best friends with her child?

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 12/04/2016 17:46

A text is better for the other mum as has time to think. Maybe just ask for a reply if they can though that might make you wonder if they've got it. I'd do it. I'd be pleased to be asked usually feel useless

diddl · 12/04/2016 17:52

Glad to hear that, OPGrin

Penguinepenguins · 12/04/2016 17:53

I don't think a text is rude either, I'd MUCH prefer to be asked by text...

I would say no because we are all fast asleep until just before 8 :) oh maybe I wouldn't if someone was in a tricky spot, and had no other options...

So I would help if there was promise of a dinner date for children and cheese for me 😉

Penguinepenguins · 12/04/2016 17:55

I missed the OP post where she said she wouldn't ask :(

I'd definitely ask! Nothing to loose and if you offer to help out the other mum might think marvellous a few hours of eating biscuits and watching Netflix would highly likely not be the reality but a girl can dream

museumum · 12/04/2016 17:57

If it's a family that use the 8am breakfast club then I think you could ask them to take them from 7 as a one-off as they're then likely to be awake.
But I wouldn't ask a family who usually arrive at 9 to have them at 6:45.

WaspsandBeesSting · 12/04/2016 17:58

Definitely ask. I certainly wouldn't mind as a one off Smile

YellowDinosaur · 12/04/2016 18:03

Ask. I've been in your situation before and we have no family locally to ask. I love it when people ask me for favours so I've got one in the bank so to speak and feel less guilty if I need to ask back!

Notso · 12/04/2016 18:05

I'd say yes as long as you didn't mind the sight of me in my PJ's!

Am Envy of everyone staying in bed until 8.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/04/2016 18:06

I'd do this. It's not a massive deal. We usually get up around then - or after - but routine can be changed for a one off.

It's important to help each other out. It can't hurt to ask.

readytorage · 12/04/2016 18:06

If I were your friend I'd do it for you. These things happen when you have kids and it's stressful trying to work out what to do. You have my sympathy!

Pinkheart5915 · 12/04/2016 18:07

As a one off I think it's ok to ask.

Kiwiinkits · 12/04/2016 18:08

Your husband should go in later than usual. The world doesn't end because someone is late to work. I presume your work is flexible for you sometimes? Why isn't his flexible for him? Why do you assume that it won't / can't be?

JakeBallardswife · 12/04/2016 18:10

I think as a one off it'd be fine. I did it a few weeks ago from 7.30 am and the mum bought croissants with her as a treat for us all for breakfast.

attheendoftheday · 12/04/2016 18:11

I think it's ok to ask. I've done this before for my neighbour.

If no one agrees then both you and your partner are entitled to unpaid parental leave.

Waltermittythesequel · 12/04/2016 18:14

I've done it, too, btw.

I think people will be more open to it than you think!

Branleuse · 12/04/2016 18:14

id do it for a very close friend as a one off, and if it wasnt a close friend, id offer to pay them or id be very very damn grateful

AhHaaaaa · 12/04/2016 18:15

I would definitley ask, and me like most people would be happy for you if it was a one off and you didn't take the piss usually.
Ask!

Smartiepants79 · 12/04/2016 18:15

Definitely ask. Especially if you can move the drop off time a bit.
This household is also not really awake before 7:30.
I would do it for most of the mums I know as a one off.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 12/04/2016 18:18

We don't get up until 7.45 / 8 but as a one off I'd help you, so I say ask!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 12/04/2016 18:19

I actually think a text is much more considerate, because they have a couple of minutes then to check with their spouse/weigh up if they are actually able to do it. Whereas I think a lot of people on the spot will say yes immediately to be polite and then may end up feeling a bit resentful and forced in to it. When they would "own" the decision more if they'd had a minute to decide for themselves.

On the phone you are on the spot, it's not very fair. It seems much pushier than a text.

RhodaBull · 12/04/2016 18:20

I'm extremely old fashioned - and I would prefer a text! A text gives a person the opportunity to have a think about it and come up with an excuse if necessary. A phone call puts someone on the spot and it's hard to refuse.

Anyway, like others have said, as a one-off request - fine. But heed well and use advanced search facility on MN to find the numerous threads where posters have moaned about cheeky so-and-sos who begin with a one-off request which morphs into a several times a week job.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2016 18:22

If it's a one off - for God's sake just ask! I've done this in the mornings for loads of people; and I've had to be the one asking the favour at pick up time, now and again.
It's absolutely no big deal, most people are glad to help.

Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 18:23

Well if it asking doesn't work out, take a sick day. I have had to or my dh has had to. What can you do?

musicinspring1 · 12/04/2016 18:25

I would do that as a one off. Maybe offer a play date at yours in return?

Ilikesweetpeas · 12/04/2016 18:29

I would do this as a one off, always happy to help another mum who is struggling. After all it could be me another day!