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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to want to have been offered some money?

574 replies

Blitzburgher · 09/04/2016 23:03

Just back from dinner at a friend's. Five couples in total, lovely evening. Slightly late because of nipping to the shop for cigarettes for DH on the way there. Texted friend when at shop "There in 15 mins, do you need anything from Waitrose?" just as a pleasantry really. Received reply "Yes - can you get 4 bottles red wine, crisps, dips and bottle vodka". Slightly shocked - was expecting something like 'OMG just run out of milk' or 'forgot the coriander - thank you!'. Bought the stuff for total £55. Arrived at party - shopping gratefully received, no mention of cash. Crisps and dips opened straight away - but there were also loads of other nibbly items like little toasts with parma ham; olives; nuts. Red wine spirited away somewhere never to be seen again. Vodka went into freezer.

Lovely evening - friend's DH is a chef and food was great. Nice to see all couples again. Whole dinner party sitting with my back right up against their full wine rack - wondered slightly why I'd been asked to bring 4 more bottles. Vodka made no appearance. Time came to leave and friend brought me my 'bag for life' from the kitchen. Receipt wasn't in there where the cashier had put it so assumed she'd taken it out and seen how much shopping was. Not a word about the cash. Didn't want to bring it up to save embarrassment so just left. Now slightly annoyed - AIBU?

DH thinks IABU because I'd probably have done that weird British polite thing and refused the cash anyway.

OP posts:
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Grilledaubergines · 10/04/2016 22:07

This reply has been deleted

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Pipbin · 10/04/2016 22:08

She he kept us amused while we wait for Blitz's friend to text back.

AKissACuddleAndACheekyFinger · 10/04/2016 22:09

blitz, do you have any pictures you took at the dinner party? Perhaps Whatsapp her a nice one? Then when she replies, rely with something conversational and then 'oh did you get my text by the way?'

lavenderhoney · 10/04/2016 22:11

" real poor" as opposed to what? And I wouldn't expect to take more than flowers and a bottle to a dinner. Christ, next will be expecting a weeknd at a spa or tickets to NYC.

But op, if you're friends then there's not much to worry about? And her dh being a chef and cooking on a sat night, for friends. How nice:) You'd think he'd be working or sick of the sight of a kitchen for his day off. He's a bit disorganised though, for a chef!

I suppose you'll be turning your phone off en route to dinner parties now:)

RoomForASmallOne · 10/04/2016 22:12

Crate of champagne and a Mini Cooper

Nice one Stealth Grin

NotReallySureNow · 10/04/2016 22:13

Blitz your friend has definitely had time to read the message now.

The fact she hasn't sent an embarrassed response saying a bank transfer is on the way indicates she doesn't think she should/ doesn't want to pay you back. Shock

QOD · 10/04/2016 22:14

Wow! Just wow!
She has a cheek, I've had times where I've had £55 per fortnight for food shopping so I can totally appreciate the wtf? Where's my money!

ssd · 10/04/2016 22:14

stinky, please please tell me you're not xenia Shock

AgentPineapple · 10/04/2016 22:15

Wow fuck that! Of course you should ask for it back. There are a few posts that suggest there is some weird dinner party etiquette that you should ask for your 55 quid back. If you did and she stopped speaking to you then she wasn't a friend, she was a sponging chancer. I suspect if you ask for it she'll just give you it, maybe she didn't bring it up then because it's not 'polite conversation'? Sorry I'm making this up as I don't do dinner parties but there's no way any of my friends would expect me to spend that sort of money for them and not pay it back. I'd of stretched to a loaf of bread or a pint of milk. If it had been me I would have said I didn't have that much cash and could she transfer it before you get to the til so you could pay

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 10/04/2016 22:16

Xenia wasn't that out of touch
She was a bit lala about how possible it is to earn big bucks but she was aware that there were people in the world on tight budgets. Unlike stinky who seems to have missed that little bit of information

ssd · 10/04/2016 22:20

true

I didnt think she was xenia, I just panicked there

BarbaraofSeville · 10/04/2016 22:23

I've seen Xenia on here this weekend. I've got quite good at keeping up with her name changes that she always denies when called upon.

ssd · 10/04/2016 22:31

ah right

in that case, a million apologies xenia, I know you are much nicer than this vile person stinky.

slithytove · 10/04/2016 22:31

"Arsewanking cuntbadger" [Grin]

slithytove · 10/04/2016 22:31

Fucking Grin failure

Jackie0 · 10/04/2016 22:32

No text back doesn't bode well.
Your friend is massively outof order

SquidgeyMidgey · 10/04/2016 22:32

Erm, get a job...

Chist on a bike you cold-hearted foul little madam.

scoppp · 10/04/2016 22:35

Nah if it was Xenia she'd have reminded us we had no need to buy any drinks but just drink tap water.

ssd · 10/04/2016 22:35

Grin true, shes got plenty money but wastes nothing

ThinkBeforePosting · 10/04/2016 22:36

Xenia posts are the easiest to spot. Grin.

I'm not sure why she bothers name changing and then goes on to post the same old posts. I'm mystified Confused

passmethewineplease · 10/04/2016 22:47

YANBU OP.

Hopefully she's just forgotten!

Hope she answers your text soon!

Stinky your comment made me laugh, I just didn't realise that £55 was any more than pocket change

Lol seriously? Yes as you said earlier you're horrendously out of touch.

It doesn't matter who hosted who, if you choose to host you choose to pay for it! Simple as that IMO.

But then we don't do dinner parties we do a takeaway and a few games of couples catchphrase. Us commoners. Grin

QuestionableMouse · 10/04/2016 22:47

stinkysnowbear, £55 is a full day's work for me. Hardly nothing.

Haudyerwheesht · 10/04/2016 22:48

Just place marking for the reply

ImperialBlether · 10/04/2016 22:49

Hey, leave off Xenia. She's amazingly supportive of women at work. Others amongst us might not do what she did, eg go back to work so quickly, but she's a huge supporter of women and she shouldn't be used as an insult.

QueenArseClangers · 10/04/2016 22:50

Aah, Stinky's one of those self made Tories