Or is £100 a month pocket money fair?

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DH thinks it's too much pocket money for dd1(18) She is at college full time so we still get CB for her. She repeated a year at school so is at the stage of most 17 year old, but technically an adult. I give her £50 basic a month, plus another £50 at the end of the month if she does a few jobs around the house (max thirty minutes a day) she also babysits her younger brother and sister whenever asked (varies, sometimes once a week, sometimes more) and makes them lunch, dinner if we are working.
I also pay for her phone, Netflix and haircuts (all adds up to another £50 a month) I buy essential clothes. She spends her money on going to gigs, train fares visiting friends, non essential clothes, make-up, going out, cinema, lunch while at college (but this is because she doesn't get up on time to make a packed lunch) and equipment for her hobby.
DH thinks because she works in a takeaway until early hours two nights a week then we should reduce her allowance. I think if she's motivated enough to do this on top of full time study she should get to keep or save that money to spend as she wants. I should add that the course, although classified as full time, is actually only 28 hours a week over four days.
I'd be really interested to know how much money other people give to their older kids? We are not well off, but can afford to give her this money whilst we are still getting CB for her.

I haven't read the whole thread (always a mistake I know), but on the face of your op, it sounds fine. Initially I wanted to suggest you pay her a genuine hourly rate for what she does (eg: babysitting, cleaning, etc), but I wouldn't like to live in a household where I have to negotiate cleaning, babysitting, etc.

If you are both receiving benefit from this arrangement and she understands how the real world works, what's themail issue? If dp wants to pay for babysitting, it's about £12 p/hr round here, so 5 hours a month. (I need to move!)

Reading the thread I agree that 50/50 for driving lessons is good. But let her pay test fees.
Slightly confused about Netflix, why don't you have a family account for the same price so you all benefit? I have Netflix and my husband and two littlies all use one account. I can also give two friends the benefit (under netfkux''s weird rules,
Would she be willing to reduce to 75 a month and 25 in savings for 3 months then 50/50 after that? That way she will have a nest egg for when she moves out and you still get what sounds like a very helpful teenager under your roof?

I also wouldn't hesitate to give him a tenner if he's going out and is short of cash.

I can see why this feels nice and warm and fuzzy all round, but I've never quite understood this approach. Like many previous posters I give my children pocket money to help them to learn to budget. My 14 year old gets her pocket money (£55) and has to budget within it for everything except uniform and schools shoes/trainers. She uses the family Netflix account, but then so does my (rich) best mate! My kids moved from savings accounts to bank accounts with debit card as soon as they turned 11. If they're going out and need cash I'll hand it to them but add it to their tab and they'll get cash out when they're near a cash point or pay for groceries to clear their tab.

They have various friends who don't get pocket money but just get money to spend when they go out, and these kids never have to budget and spend far more than those who have regular money coming in. Giving them regular money and then an extra bit if they've spent it all seems very likely to encourage them to spend rather than save/budget.

I agree Million

Whereas we're never going to agree on the amount of money a teen needs (such a variety of lifestyles on here), surely the whole point of a child or teen having pocket money is that they learn to budget...... 'if I spend it on this, I won't have it left for that' type of thing. I don't get the 'Oh, you've spent all your money this month, so here you are, have a bit more' thinking - I've never found an employer who is willing to do that for me, so for someone who isn't even working for their spending money, that seems an odd lesson to be teaching them.

DS1, 16 (in Y12), gets £15 a week, which will go up to £20 when he's 17 at the end of the month. He also gets £15 per month GiffGaff, haircuts, and school lunches paid. We buy school suit, shirts, shoes, sports kit etc. He doesn't have a paid job, but volunteers for a couple of hours on a Saturday in a charity shop for his Duke of Edinburgh scheme, so happy to subsidise that. He gets a lot of his clothes from charity shops - quite canny at spotting brands - which will stand him in good stead when he goes to university. He mainly spends his money on gig tickets and (disgusting) chicken and chips.

£100 on top of you buying her clothes, paying for her phone and hair cuts etc sounds a lot to me.

I'd be encouraging her to get a Saturday job.

I think the £100 is fair given the fact she helps you out but you shouldn't pay for the other things on top. Mostly because she has a job as well and for two shifts a week i'm gathering that's an extra £100ish a week? So she's pretty well off for an 18 year old living at home!

Agreed with other posters that she needs to learn how to budget and won't do this if you pay for things like haircuts and phone bills. She's going to have to fend for herself one day in the not so distant future and you'll be setting her up for a fall if you don't teach her budgeting skills.

I think she sounds like good value for money!

However, I would change things. I would give her £60 in cash and put £40 in a savings account / ISA / premium bonds etc. On the understanding that she can't touch it until a certain date or unless it's for a certain purchase (rent deposit/ car etc).

And I would stop paying for the haircuts!

She sounds lovely! Isn't it going to come as a bit of a shock to her when the CB stops, though? That is the reason why I think she should be learning how to budget, as Mrs TP says. But otherwise, if you can afford it and you can teach her about the value of money, why not? I would also go along with the suggestion of putting some of it into an online bank account so that she has some savings for driving lessons/a car/holidays with friends.
I also concur with the person who said they're not going to let their child go short if they've got the money themselves.

loveparenting.org/2016/04/08/i-wont-pay-my-child-for-chores-but-i-will-do-this/#more-7882

I have a toddler so I've no idea what is a reasonable amount for pocket money. However with her earning and you giving pocket money why is she not paying for her phone, haircut and clothes? I get that perhaps you all benefit from using the Netflix account. When I was sher age (7 years ago) I worked 8 hours a week on top of sixth form. I earnt about £50 a week plus £30 a week ema money from the government (this is no longer available). From this I was expected to pay for all you pay for her. My parents gave me no money but paid for all basics (food, household bills). My Nan helped me out with paying towards some of my driving lessons (not all). Obviously you may disagree with this but it seems like an awful lot of disposable income and it's not particularly helping her to budget or save realistically.

Sounds ok except if she is paying for gigs etc she should pay her own haircuts and netflix.

I think £100 is excellent value for 15 hours work and 4+ babysitting sessions. You would pay that round here just for the babysitting round here

If you can afford it, I think its a lovely thing to do. She sounds like a fantastic daughter,
also it seems that she likes the idea of having a little bit more money, so she goes out to work to earn it.
Does she have to get a taxi home, as its early hours?

I honestly hope when my DD is older that I can help her out as much as possible, you sound like you have a lovely family. tell DH to be quiet

I think it sounds fine.

She does a fair bit for you, she is in sixth form studying and also has a part time job.

My DD1 is 20 and at uni. She has had several part time jobs over the years and has budgeted around those alongside her student loans. We can't afford to give masses, but do give her £100 per month as our way of helping out a bit. I also pay her phone contract and she has access to my family Netflix account.

Her two younger sisters earn their money on paper rounds and work in a local shop. We pay for essential school and college stuff, phone contracts and haircuts (I have a friend who is a hairdresser and comes to our house to do it, so very good value).

Do what you are comfortable with and can afford.

I would be wary of trying to cut down her money, even it is is to save. You could suggest she keep some aside herself for driving lessons of course.
I think anything else will feel like a punishment tbh and she's not done anything wrong.
If she wants to start driving soon you could ask her to meet the costs of that herself which will effectively bring down her allowance without you actually cutting it.
I think people who are suggesting you should cut it because she has a part time job are being a little unkind, it's not exactly motivating for her. I think in that position as a teenager I would expect a strop and for her to quit the job!!

I think it sounds fine given she helps out at home and studies hard but people have very different instincts on this kind of thing usually heavily influenced by their own upbringing. To me the most important thing is that your dd feels you are being fair. My parents gave me an absolutely tiddly amount of pocket money which was all they could afford and I naturally assumed and accepted it stopping once I got my first job. But if I had had pocket money continue alongside my job which reflected help I did around the house which suddenly stopped I'd feel hard done by. If your Dh and you expected her to contribute to the house once she was 18, you should have explained and implemented it at the time of the change. I think best next step is to explain to her how you see the arrangement changing in future as she becomes more independent. Putting some of the amount in savings is a good idea or if you'd rather stop paying her, moving towards finishing at end of academic year perhaps.

Sounds absolutely fine to me. DD is a similar age and gets. £100pcm (lunches, going out, etc), gym sub, her phone, haircuts and I buy her clothes. I love buying her clothes and wish she was more interested.

DS gets similar plus his rent, because he's at uni. He does have a modest part-time job.

My view is if they are used to nice stuff and a nice life working hard to fund it comes naturally.